It was a classic call to California Psychics for insight about one of life's most difficult, life-altering experiences. Another marriage had just ended, this one after 24 years. It was a marriage in which two businesses had been built and had grown beyond a couple's dreams. They were living in their fantasy house and their "no-trouble" twins had just finished college when Matt (not his real name), left Joy (not her real name) without any explanation.
As he walked out the door for work one morning, he mentioned unemotionally and out of the blue, that he was moving out. Joy refused to believe him even after Matt had not returned home for months, purchased another home, invested in a new venture and began dating another woman. When he told Joy that he was getting remarried, she finally began to doubt herself. She called Clarissa ext. 9339 looking for answers.
"When is my husband coming back?" Joy asked the natural visionary, between sobs and tears. Using Matt's name, birth date and the Tarot, Clarissa looked into the question.
"I don't see him changing his mind," she responded gently. Instead, she saw a man who wanted to reinvent himself. In his mind, Matt had closed a door and a chapter in his life. They had accomplished their goals as a couple, and the Fire sign, was moving on to a fresh set of challenges. Matt wasn't interested in getting comfy, traveling or playing golf… They had come to a place of peace in their lives together and that didn't interest him. I think you understand this about him," she prompted her caller.
"He's a man who never relaxes… But he never said he planned on leaving. This must be a mid-life thing. He's coming back!" she insisted.
"I know you believe you can't live without him," Clarissa responded carefully, "but at least I don't see that there is anything to regret about your marriage." She could see that Matt had left her with their home and business, and the children were siding with her. He saw the completion of their goals as a success story. As Clarissa voiced what came to her, Joy finally got a sense of what had transpired between them.
Clarissa also felt empathically as if Matt had reached into Joy's chest and ripped out her heart. "You can't just tell a person who is in this kind of pain to forget it and move on. Her husband had done a number on her and Joy wasn't going to be okay anytime soon. My first goal, with Joy," Clarissa explained," was to get her to stop focusing on the partnership."
"What did you want to do with your life before you met Matt?" Clarissa asked her caller who was still sobbing. "It's time for you to dust off some old dreams. You have a responsibility to yourself, to enjoy the rest of your life… You'll be asked to join a book club, don't turn down the opportunity."
Joy sobered at the ideas. "Write?" she responded, dispassionately.
Over the next year, Joy called Clarissa monthly, always asking about Matt's return, jokingly calling Clarissa her "reality check." In the meantime, she had begun to journal and joined a book club, which led her to a writing group. She was now writing about her feelings and began connecting with some of the other women in her groups, even counseling them through their own pain.
The exercise, Clarissa had given her during their first call together, was still Joy's stronghold. Any "why, what if, or will he" questions that might continue to torment her, were to be used as a signal to switch her thoughts to the new things she wanted to accomplish in life.
"Within a year, this caller's transformation was amazing!" Clarissa says proudly. "She went from, I don't want to live without him, to liberation within a year." And, to her surprise, the psychic adds, the new purpose in Joy's life is not a romantic relationship. Instead, Joy has become a beacon in her book and writing groups, where she has a new social network of friends unrelated to her marriage, as well as a new passion. "She's working on a poetry collection with some of her fellow writers."
"Thank you for just listening to me for all of those months," Joy recently told Clarissa with passionate gratitude. "I couldn't lie to myself anymore after I connected with you. You helped me out of a deep pit!"
Joy still has more healing to do, but her story is proof that, "Challenges are the nature of our existence and evolution," Clarissa suggests. "If things are always smooth, there would be no reason to continue to grow. Accept the challenges that life offers, and prove to yourself that you are who you say you are."
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