"My callers report having looked up an old or lost love just for fun," Jesse ext. 9027 points out, "and later, they find themselves involved in profound connections they have made online. They become filled with the desire to delve further into the possibilities of what they're feeling, imagining and wishing for. That's when they call for help. Sometimes they want to know if the other person involved feels the same way - or what the future might hold for them. Others feel terrible, and want to find a way back to their real partner."

So what drives people to connect so intimately outside of their primary relationships? Sometimes emotional affairs can keep a marriage alive, because they make people feel valued - or a need is filled in this way. At other times, these relationships can become precursors to full-blown affairs. Some people find these friendships to be eye-opening lessons about what they need to ask for in their primary relationships. But the downside can be distraction. Guilt, confusion, wishful thinking about a future that might involve complete intimacy can result, and these relationships have the potential to lead to infidelity or divorce. That's a high price to pay for something that had appeared to be a harmless friendship.

"They can be dangerous, but they can also be enlightening and liberating," Chloe ext. 9421 declares. "Look at what this relationship is telling you about your main relationship. Never ignore or dismiss an emotional affair simply because there's no physical intimacy. It's telling you something very important about what you need, what you want - and what you have to offer."

Emotional affairs can be eye openers, but you need to work on the relationship you have, or you may well lose it. This is an area where free will comes intensely into play. With an emotional affair a revelation is there: usually, such a situation indicates that something deep is missing from your relationship. It's up to you to decide if it's worth working on. If not, you must move on.