Many of you are in love with someone who is not available to you. You dream of them, you think about them constantly, and you couldn’t care less about dating anyone else. You are told time and again what you know in your heart. You feel karmically involved (like soulmated cosmic lovers) and have spent at least one lifetime together. But for some reason, you can’t seem to connect in this life, but you yearn to be together. In this manifestation in this life, you have already spent too much time in constant heartbreak over being alone, without this love in your life. You say to me, “But I’ve tried, Yemaya. I’ve tried so hard to let him go.”
I know you have. I know how difficult it is to move past an unresolved love affair. I also have witnessed this pain time and again, and I believe that I have seen a “soul-lose-shun”:
Resign yourself to the notion that you’re not going to get what you want
Give up if your rational mind is telling you it’s hopeless.
Give up if your friends and loved ones say, “reclaim your life.”
Give up if you have called any on of my sisters or brothers on the CP line, and they’ve said, “I see no future connection. I don’t see this person in your life for certain.” After you’ve exhausted all avenues, save your own life and find happiness again. Seems daunting? Almost scary? Here’s how to move forward:
Step 1, SOUL: Make up your mind and acknowledge it to friends and loved ones, or your friends here online. Make a firm commitment to yourself that you are more important. Then mentally see yourself pulling away from their energy. Meditate on your souls letting go of each other. Visualize it. Do it as often as you can. Repeat it once or twice daily. It’s more effective this way.
Step 2, LOSE: Rummage through your home and “lose” the items that remind you of that connection. Clear the space for new love. Take their phone number out of your phone and delete them from your Facebook/Twitter/MySpace pages. If you want your life back, you have to let go of the fantasy that YOU are attached to.
Step 3, SHUN: When your mind wanders and you start to think about them — or talk about them — stop! Take a deep breath, wiggle your toes and fingers, and pull yourself back into the now — in your body, in this moment. What’s the next action you need to take? What’s right in front of you? Ok, shun all thoughts of that old relationship, any memories (until you are over your addiction to it), and shift your mind to another topic. Move on to something immediate which requires your attention — something in the now. If nothing is pressing, go find something to do.
Try this moment-by-moment. When you really apply yourself to these steps, you’ll feel stronger and able to move forward with your life. I know you will not be able to do this until you commit to it. There’s a saying I’ve I adopted, “When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will stop.” I know it’s hard, but I’ve seen many people succeed. They go on to experience a healthy love with whom to share their lives.
Or you can continue to sit at home — alone. It’s your choice. Good luck, and my prayers are with you.
15 thoughts on “Break Your Love Addiction”
There is clearly a bundle to realize about this. I suppose you made some good points in features also. dddfdeededck
Hi,
I am very happy that I got nice information about how to Cure addiction from your blog and I hope you will write more about it.
Thanks
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Wow this article is very touching it reminds me of people so hooked with online relationships.Loving someone who is unavailable is time wasting and un compensating.Will now learn to be realistic with whom we fall in love with.If its not working why curry on?After all we love to feel loved in return.
Wow, what a great article. Yemaya, i have been involved in a relationship. With an unavailable man. Its been six years, i have been trying to pull out from this relationshp and it has been dificult. I am going through what debbie is warning us from. The man got married 2 years after we started dating. Married his old girlfriend which they now share a child with. I can see that there is no future,.. I want to write him off. And focus on a new relationship where i can have freedom and no time tables.
I totally agree with you. There is also a wonderful 12 Step group for dealing with the issues of Love and Relationship Addiction, called SLAA. It’s for people who have trouble letting go of relationships and people trying to get love from unavailable people. They have phone meetings and face-to-face meetings. Many people have transformed their lives using this fellowship. I think it’s hard to do alone.
Dear all,
Read all those comments and advice about breaking away from love addiction. Am going to share my experience as I’ve never been able to have a psychic reading and maybe can get some advice. Been in a relationship with a foreigner for a short while before he had to leave for his country. I and i think both of us felt that we were soul mate. One year has passed since we parted.Been constantly in touch by all means of communication available on both sides and we always feel that we’re going to meet one day and pick up from where we left. During this time we’re both sharing our lives, the good and bad sides even if not meeting.It seems that this long period of time has changed nothing between us. We’re both scorpions, age difference very vast. Should i let go of this relationship and give space to start afresh or there’s hope that the encounter will take place one day? HELP me enlighten my situation.
Mone
thanks for the memo , I have the opposite problem. How do I get over the person if there hasn’t been any contact for a long time and psychics have told me that there will be a connection in the future. I feel like the stillness blocks me from moving on in life. I am holding onto the moment when we will finally connect and then time pass and I realize that I have not done anything constructive .
Hi, Lovely Duckling,
Thanks so much for reminding us about leaving space for ourselves. Very important and, after all, the very first space we should leave.
Hugs,
Maryanne
Ext. 9146
Hi, Maryanne!
I completely agree with everything you said, but especially the part about leaving space in your life for others, even if the person you leave room for is yourself. Even if those people don’t bring you the ideal you wanted, they will bring what you need. I have had many friends fill the space left empty from that hurt. My life is so much richer because I let go and opened myself up to others.
During a reading with Phillip, he also said to open up to doing the things for yourself that you might not with someone else in your way… 😉
Thanks,
Duckie 🙂
Hello, Yemaya!
I wish I had been given this advice a while back…it would have saved a great deal of anguish! While I didn’t get the advice from you or anyone else, I eventually followed the steps you talk about here and they absolutely work!
Speaking from experience, I know it isn’t easy to let go of the idea of what you want. It will take both a conscious decision and conscious effort, but eventually you will be able to let go, feel better and move on.
I say ‘idea’ because sometimes what we want is not what we would really get. We just have this fantasy of what things would be like, but it is usually unrealistic. Life still won’t be perfect, even if we get what it is what we want. And sometimes what we want isn’t what would be good for us…like a second piece of chocolate cake. 😉
Please listen to Yemaya’s wonderful advice!!! It really works.
Cheers,
Duckie 🙂
Yemaya, Fantastic article, Love it…
One thing I say to my wonderful clients, Is fake it till you make it!!
Remember it is through the Happy emotional state where all good positive things come!
Be happy! Stay in that space, even when it seems so gloom….
Blessings,
Jacqueline x9472
I had a wonderful conversation with Jean, extension 5132 in November regarding the man I believe is my soul mate, perhaps even my twin flame. Jean said to “let it go for now” and that he will be coming back in my life in the spring, potentially April. I’ve had a bit of a difficult time letting go “for now,” because I also have the hope that he is coming back in my life. Do you have any advice for “letting go for now,” while also being aware that he will be coming back into my life? I have been trying to really focus on myself, practice gratitude and kindness and remove some of what I believe blocked us from enjoying a relationship together the first two times we tried it. I pray for him, and I ask God to bless him and bring him happiness and fulfillment. But I also stay away from his Facebook page (too easy to get wrapped up in his life and let doubt creep in), don’t email him or reach out to him and don’t go back and re-hash the past in my mind. If anyone has any guidance on how to balance “letting go” with a prediction that he will be coming back into my life, I would certainly appreciate it.
Love and light,
Kiki
Yemaya,
Thanks for a great article and for giving our clients (and, no doubt, some of us) an extremely useful step by step plan for breaking their love addiction. Making a commitment to ourselves and living in the now are excellent steps to allowing ourselves to have space in our lives for love to come in.
I would like to suggest that if any of us finds ourself addicted to a love that is not going to work out we add the step of asking ourselves why we are hanging on to the relationship that is not working. The usual reasons come out first-“I’ll never feel this way about anyone else again”. Good-I don’t want to feel that level of unrequited love hurt or want any of our wonderful clients to feel it again either.
At least consider opening space in your life for someone to come in who will love you and you will love as well. Over the years I have been privileged to work with many, many clients who have been stuck on a love addiction and then discovered they actually became grateful for the space that opened up in their life because someone wonderful walked into it. I have heard, so very many times over the years, “What if I had stayed focused (addicted) on that relationship that was not working–I would have totally missed him/her!”
Trust in your own intrinsic value and trust in the universe to bring you that which you need.
Sincerely,
Psychic Maryanne
Extension 9146