To Text or Not to Text

Should You Text?

We are still human beings. Even with the technology today, we are still genetically wired to interact face-to-face with one another. We are predisposed to look into someone’s eyes during a conversation in order to fully comprehend what they are saying and, most importantly, meaning. Working behind a keyboard or PDA leaves a lot of room, sometimes way too much, for interpretation, miscommunication and problems to arise as we put messages through our own filters. Without the visual cues from the other person across the table from us, we can miss connecting on a very deep level.

Before you use your phone to begin or deepen a relationship with text messages, consider the following “Do’s and Don’t’s” for your relationship success…

DO:

1. Send sweet quick messages via text throughout the day. Sending little thinking of you messages every now and then make your partner feel special and desired.

2. It’s okay to send quick updates like “I’m running late.”

3. Use them sparingly. Getting constant text messages gets old.

4. When you do send a text message KISS (keep it simple silly). Making your messages simple and easy make them easier received.

5. It’s okay to flirt via text messages and a ton of fun.

6. Respond quickly to a text message and don’t send a response outside of 24 hours of receiving the first message.

DON’T:

1. Avoid sending emotional messages via text message.

2. Under no circumstances should you fight via text messages. This will lead to messages being misread and misunderstood. Most of the time this results in fights lasting longer or worse.

3. Text messages are like email, avoid sending anything that you don’t want your grandparents or parents to view. They can and most likely will be forwarded.

4. Never break up via text messages.

5. Avoid overusing text messages.

6. Don’t expect answers right away.

7. Avoid using the text messaging as your primary source of communication.

Voice calls and physical contact are still the best ways to communicate in any relationship, especially a dating relationship where you are trying to get to know each other. Text messaging offers convenience but it hides the key cues of communication from the receiver. You lose voice inflection and emotion, you miss sighs and other cues that show the emotional condition of the other person. in comparison to face to face contact you lose the body language cues that often help us read in between the lines in a conversation. Use your phone as a tool of convenience not as your primary form of communication in dating or your relationship.