5 Steps to Your Ideal Type

Is your ideal “type” tall dark and handsome… bold and beautiful… bad boys or vixen girls? Find out what type actually works for you.

Have you ever been told that you don’t know what’s good for you?

Whether you’ve heard that tune from doting friends, not-so-helpful family members or your nagging inner voice, it’s time to get serious and determine if they might be right.

1. Take inventory
Start by taking a mental inventory of your relationships. Develop a list of your greatest love affairs – the ones that kept you flying high, as well as the ones that brought you your lowest lows. It’s very likely that the people on your list will have done a little bit of both.

Once you have that completed (it doesn’t need to be all-encompassing) go through your inventory, person by person. List the characteristics that initially drew you to them. It can encompass basic physical attributes such as long flowing hair or steely blue eyes – and it should also include personality traits such as a tendency to be the life of the party, a strong-and-silent streak, humor, a nurturing quality, and so forth.

2. Be reasonable
Next, write a short reason as to why each relationship ended. Perhaps their “life of the party” ways were what drew you to them, but ultimately became the reason you went your separate ways. Be cautious not to drive too far down memory lane. This process is meant to help you to move forward, instead of beating yourself up over the past.

3. See your patterns
Take a look at your list, and pay attention to trends and repetition around the types you’ve been attracted to. It will illuminate what your type is (maybe you know, but have been afraid to admit it). More importantly, you will have insight as to whether your type has served you well in the past. Maybe yes, maybe no. Perhaps you simply feel like you need to shake things up. It may be time to shift your consciousness, and maybe attract someone who’s not your usual type.

4. Hello, new love life!
A key step in beginning any journey is to admit that you’re ready to start fresh. Your first step down that road is to set a shift in motion by creating a new intention. Let’s say that after years of financial woe you decide you want a partner who is as financially aware as you are. You need to affirm that this is what you seek – and then you will communicate your intention to others.

5. Map out meeting spots
Since you’re charting new territory, you will want to explore new venues. Let’s say you are interested in meeting an intellectual equal, rather than the party-hounds of your past. While bar- and club-hopping might have served you back in the day, it may not keep you on your new path. Do a little digging to locate some outlets where you are more likely to meet brainiacs (at the library, during a lecture series, at an adult education class, etc.).

So step forward and open up your mind and heart – to all your new possibilities and directions.