She Loved You Once Before
I get a lot of calls from people who want a second chance with a partner who has left the relationship, and you may be surprised to know that a lot of these callers are men. But, it’s not just about getting their partner back. It’s about getting them back, making them happy, and keeping then happy so that they don’t leave again.
First and foremost, it’s my job to find out why the relationship didn’t work. I use Chinese astrology to understand the nature of the people in the relationship. I can also use this information to tell what phase each person is in—are they done with this chapter (this relationship) in their lives; is the couple on two different pages, in two different books; or will they get back together? I know I am a bit old-fashioned, talking about books in a Kindle world, but you get what I mean.
Some men can be clueless when it comes to getting an ex back. On Mother’s Day a guy called me to ask if he should get his ex flowers on Mother’s Day. Well, she clearly wasn’t his mother, or anyone else’s mother, so I told him it was very inappropriate. There are holidays where buying an ex a gift to win them back would be appropriate (think Christmas), but Mother’s Day isn’t one of them. Also, it’s better to give gifts on a non-holiday, because if it isn’t well-received, you could ruin her holiday and yours.
Winning a person back takes time, money and tenacity. You don’t want to come off as creepy or too desperate. Here are some tips:
1. Keep in touch with your ex regularly. Send a text, email, or call them and ask them how they are doing, but make it casual. Don’t profess your undying love.
2. Know why you broke up and admit to your part in it.
3. Remember that if this relationship can’t be fixed, you are going to have to have a Plan B (which may involve getting over the relationship and moving on).
4. If the problem is not yours, be empathetic.
5. Go out of your way to be nice.
6. Sending her flowers or a gift is a nice idea, but it has to be meaningful to her. “I’m sorry” flowers and gifts are pretty common. If you want to win her back, you need to put more thought into the apology gift.
7. Recreate those romantic feelings you once had for each other with a song, story, movie or an incredible date. Recreate that vibration you once shared with her.
8. Go back to the beginning of the relationship and remind her why you feel in love in the first place.
9. Call a psychic. We have insight into your relationship and can share more specific tips that could bring her back.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to just let that person go. As much as you want her, you need to be open to the possibility that after all the effort you’ve made to win her back, she still may not want to be with you again. It’s so hard for me to tell a caller this, because they are so focused on making whatever changes are necessary to win their ex back. But when the truth of the matter is that there is nothing they can do to win their ex back, the best thing to do is to heal, move on, and focus on getting a new relationship that will stand the test of time.
50 thoughts on “How to Get Her Back and Keep Her Happy”
Nana-I don’t usually leave a comment on these boards, but I’m doing it with you. I read your plight and my opinion is to be ONLY friends with him and nothing more. You’re both in a committed relationship and would create alot of problems for you AND him. The people to blame for that situation is his family (family can be a great blessing or the worst curse). You should have addressed them about this, years ago and insisted an explanation why they were so against you with him. You should then have approached the guy and told him point blank-‘it’s either me OR your family.’ If he chose his family, don’t look back-he was too obedient to them to make a stand of love for you. Think about the damage an affair would cause to 2 relationships. There’s only one exception-if both relationships are going south, NOT either one, each party should divorce/file separation, otherwise, bear in mind the hell an affair would create for you both.
I loved him but my family didnt so they keptme far from seing him then when i got a chance to meet he had moved on with another girl i asked him if he still loved me he said he loved both of us but he was more with the other girl i hurt too much then i left him Them moved on for ten years now even been married have a daughter but all i think and dream of is my him recently we started talkin he told me to have secret affair because he too got married and has three kids i love him i will die for him as fir my husband no matter how nice he is to me i dont love him do you think i should except to be in a secret affair with my lover.advice anyone
Hi,
I am 22 years old woman. I am in love with one guy for four years. Some months ago we were in relationship, which was my first and his fourth. Because of this difference, we couldn’t get along for long. We love each other, but he felt ignored in our relationship. Because I really didn’t know how much attention would be enough because I didn’t want to annoy him. He had his job and studies going on, that’s why I rarely disturbed him, but I know that was my biggest mistake. Obviously his male ego must have been badly hurt. and I didn’t get a chance to explain this to him as he is not at all talking to me now. What should I do? How can I explain to him that whatever I did was not intentional?
dear faith,
i am sorry to hear about your situation. my prayers are with you for your family to be whole, happy and at peace.
with metta,
-quinn ext. 5484
-quinn July 30, 2012 at 7:40 pm
the pursuit of love should not threaten our freedom or encumber us with court orders forbidding us to come in contact with the one we love. that is a whole other realm of existence.
if you have broken up and want to reconnect keeping in touch helps. I say keep your finger on the pulse of the relationship in a casual way so that no problems with the law are brought to the forefront.
if you are in a situation where you are feeling the need to overwhelm another person it would be good to back off so you don’t end up in legal trouble.
that is an extreme – and imho not love but obsession.
be careful, be safe with your actions as they are causes made with effects to follow.
happy loving relationships to all.
-quinn
I absolutely disagree…..I’m currently reading for a few women that have had to resort to extreme measures because they are in fear of their lives and are being stalked and harassed by DELUSIONAL and obsessed x-lovers and fiances.
The restraining orders these ladies have had to obtain, the body guards they have had to hire, the police watches…. are ALL to ensure their safety.
The words ” Leave me alone ” …..in general means just that !
Hi Quinn
I had to end the 5 1/2 year relationship because of his co-dependent behavir with his 35 year son who has interfered all the time. I suffered a lot because of his son and ex-wife. It hurts a lot and I had to stop contact with him. Son is violent, disrespectful, and is now living at his grandmother’s house with the stepdaughter of my ex. need reinforcement. blessings
the pursuit of love should not threaten our freedom or encumber us with court orders forbidding us to come in contact with the one we love. that is a whole other realm of existence.
if you have broken up and want to reconnect keeping in touch helps. I say keep your finger on the pulse of the relationship in a casual way so that no problems with the law are brought to the forefront.
if you are in a situation where you are feeling the need to overwhelm another person it would be good to back off so you don’t end up in legal trouble.
that is an extreme – and imho not love but obsession.
be careful, be safe with your actions as they are causes made with effects to follow.
happy loving relationships to all.
-quinn
hello fellow and fellowette bloggers –
here is the link to the “how to get them back article”
http://blog.californiapsychics.com/blog/2012/01/3-part-plan-to-get-them-back.html
just to keep it all fair 🙂
thank you all so much for your wonderful questions and comments.
i wish i could respond to everyone – check my schedule and get in my Q if you can. i did get a chance to speak with lots of you this sunday and it really made my day to help put relationships back on track.
with the mercury retro going on right now it is a good time to think of the past relationships and reconsider the situation that brought you to the parting of ways. make sure you want the person back for the right reasons. and know that change happens although it is a very slow process.
i will keep you all in my prayers for successful relationships and happy endings.
~~~metta waves~~~
-quinn
Have to be careful about the #1……
that’s all well & fine UNTIL they go after you for stalking & harassment and put a restraining order on you……be careful in the pursuit of an X.
Have done alot of readings for clients that have been threatened with restraining orders OR already have one on them.
My marriage is failing, no job, and I’m on the way to losing both of my boys(family) as well as the house that we are in…Where to turn?
what about us females who want our ex’s back?
My fondest wish is that my ex-husband would come back.
Do you see this in my future?
I want to know what is up with my husband. Does he still love me an more.
More than you know I would love to get in touch with you, but am buying a computer on layaway. Ouch! What an expense. One of these days I will be affluent enough to do the things I want to. Thanks for all your giving.
Mary
i wanted to ask a question. what if the guy i love left me because he thinks he’s not worth it for me? is there any possibility that i can get him back ?
yes I do my ex-back but my problem is he is not only my ex-he is my first love. I can’t find him. We had a daughter together 28years ago but didnt get to raise her. Istill loe himafter all these years. Not sure how he feels though. Hi name is Marcus he could be in Indiana or where we r both from or in Montana where I hear he was. Thnks, Katie
what do you see for me
i want my ex fancee back,the problem her cousin she jaleouse she did all for we broke up,
we been maried 18 years ,we have 3 children togeyher 18 17 12 dothers we now divorced about 1 year i love this women she is my life problem for div is mine i going aut drink and party i been sober now 6 mo and staying home i just want difrent life not be alcoholic we live 2 blocks away i doing the best i can she is little difrent she seeing some gay from bosnia long distance she talking and rest but some times when i come too se my kids i can see spark in her eyes aand i now how to read body lengurage she has stil hawe fillings for my i now but she give me resistance sometimes she is cold and hot torso me my kids love my and wants me back together whit my ex i dont talk a lot whit her i want give the space and time to thinking and i dont know what else can you help me before is to late asap i going to church running just have some live back i lost 45 pb in 5 mo what now help please
You have no idea of how shocked I was to see this in my e-mails this afternoon! I have done everything I possibly could in my 17 year relationship and things just fell apart. I am a single mother of three now and I am doing it on my own. At least I am tring! Thank you.
What about the male leaving the relationship? Does this still apply? My dob is 7/10/58 his is 11/7/56. According to the stars, we should be the ferfect match.
am looking for job to get my families and destiny,what will i do…
you said sometimes the best thing to do is to move on, so that is what you are saying why call you. I would like to know if my partner is gone for good.
As much as I thought I loved my ex, and as much as I had hoped he was truly my soulmate (and I had one psychic tell me we had been together in a former life, but he was physically abusive to me), I realize he was not, and that he was more toxic for me than he should have been, even though we were together over 31 years. I still look for my soulmate, and though I have been told he is getting rid of the woman he broke up our marriage over, due to the fact that she has kept him from his children, there is no way I would still consider him a soulmate. My message to the universe: Please send to me my loving, perfect matching soulmate for complete happines. Please!
Great Article Quinn, the danger in ex coming back is when the ex doesn’t communicate with honesty that he/ she wants to be back in the relationship.. All is good but it translate into teasing if there is no explanation for the flowers, gift, and text massages. If the caller is afraid of rejection then the caller should be ready for your plan B.
Great advice Quinn Thank you. Bettina ex 5065.
my birtday is on feb.20,57 and his is on jan 21,54..He is very sensitive and we have split up a few times in almost four years…he states that he loves me but says we argue too much…I am Help i love him so much
will my high school sweet heart and i get back together does she still love me
This is all I really want to know is.is me and brandon going to be together and do he still love me and are he comeing back home and is he seeing anybody eles
we broke upafter 13 years.he was dishonestand deceitful.he placed his name on a list for an old age home without telling me,and knew 7 weeks efore i found out by accdent.i hear he says to all he made a big mistakeand had a beautifulgirlfriend.
Hi. You got 9 was to get them back. Sorry to say it but the comment at the end is the best answer. Their not called ex for not reason. respectfully Pete
What about the women who wants her man back?
Do you see a love relationship in my near future and was Laura a bad choice in my life.
Hello,
With all respect, winning a person back requires more than just superficial stuff like flowers, gifts and being nice. There are alwatys reasons why people split, and wounds to heal. If those reasons are not addressed in an open discussion where both parties are prepared to listen and be prepared to work towards a resolution of the conflict which led to the split, then a bunch of flowers and a nice gesture are not going to fix it. “If the problem is not yours” is not how relationships work. If we take this kind of attitude, then we exclude ourselves from the resolution of the problem. But sometimes it is just best to thank the person you were involved with and move on. Some dogs are better left asleep.
Galina
Help me get my love back
I will love for me n jerry mctyer to get ba ck togethet I. love. Him so much but he in los ang cal I am not hsppy
i have a simply problem. I did not break with him but he did it by himself for not reply my sms, phone and emails. then he comes back after one and half month later
after talking for three weeks again he did the same thing,
let have you direct email to know my results, madam
My exboyfriend broke up with me a year ago he stills calls or texts me from to to time saying he has moved on and i should do the same,he keeps asking me do I still love him,miss him and why do I think it will work between us again.please help me
Iam not married the how can i get her back:)-
How do you heal and move on after 28 years.
iam not married then how can i get her back :)-
I am good at letting go. But, if I do there was an original reason & it’s not worth waiting again.
She has back to me and living in trouble with me .
During period of separation I lost myjob .My father ,brother and whole family not support me ,financially and morally .so ,there is no problem from my wife . If I leave my family{not wife}I can not survive due to lack of money.
Dan pulled away from me after 5 months of wonderful and I know he felt it too. I met his family, he met mine and suddenly you can just sense that something is going terribly wrong and as hard as I tried to bring back the most awesome things…holding hands in public..kissing in the parking lot. Both of us happy that the other one was there. Then work for him apparently was getting to be a huge challenge. I really dont know how much truth is there but I just wanted to support hiim. No more invitations to come and see him. No more plans..no more phone calls and all that I could think was “what did I do?” After a year and a half of sobriety, I got drunk and stayed that way for 3 months until I was finally was able to look up and see the damage I had done…to my beautiful daughter, my mom, my friends and I quit. There just was no answers then and I still feel pangs though it has been over a year. hmmmm…I dont know. Most of the time I want him to hurt as much as I did. Mostly I dont want to care anymore. Robin has always been there for over 9 years. I love him..in a nice comfortable way and I cannot let any man hurt me like that again. I will bet you have read this story many times!
I can not afford to call but I’m a wpman that has been left by my botfriend for another woman. But he claims he still loves me> Don’t know what to believe. I miss him so much! HELP!
Why would anyone want to go backwards in their life other than because of fear. Fear that they can’t get anyone else. There is a reason why X’s are X’s; going back NEVER works. We are meant to go forward, not backward. This is bad advice to give people, we need to accept and move forward, not backward!
I have dis problem wit my ex-guy.he is always wnting me to be at d begging side even wen his wrong.ok I had a little problm wit him n accepted my fault but yet he doesn’t wnt me anymore.I pleaded but all to no avail and I love him so much. I have learnt to move on but can’t stop thinking of him. Now I have no serious relationship,neither hv I seen a serious guy. Pls tell me what to do. Thanks!
not interested in getting anyone back from my past. Absolutely NO ONE WAS WORTH IT that I can think of. Want someone new that can appreciate a woman like me and looking for same I’m looking for.
staying intouch i think is a great idea; think like a friend 1st !
SHE DOES NOT WANT TO KEEP IN CONTACT WITH ME TOLD ME TO LEAVE HER ALONE SO WHAT DO I DO
I need to talk to get a solution, but before that i need to write to you to give full description, so that you understand better. Can i send you a E mail ?
Thank you,
gunsi