Raunchy and Normal
A man’s sexual fantasies are raunchy, non-politically correct, and he wouldn’t have them any other way: multiple partners, threesomes and lots of orgasms. Research shows that most people’s daydreams can get pretty weird. However, it seems to be a part of every healthy human being on this planet. In fact, those who do not have the occasional raunchy sex dream are actually considered to be more pathologically abnormal, and most likely have a terrible sex life.
Men and women have similar sexual fantasies, although there are a couple of key differences. Men do not dream of being forcefully overtaken by a lover quite as often. He does not create much of a story to his fantasies, but rather focuses on the torrid details of what is going on in them. Finally, all men seem to cling to the principle, the more the merrier. This differs from most women who like to keep their encounters one-on-one.
“Communication about sex goes a long way to avoid any misconceptions about such an intimate moment.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435
In celebration of man’s dirtiest fantasies, we look at several of his most relished sexual fantasies.
When he is having sex, he is probably thinking of someone other than his partner.
The majority of men’s fantasies have little to do with midgets, goats or Richard Gere. In fact, his current partner is the star of a good portion of his fantasies while shoveling through a normal day. But once he is actually engaging in sex with his partner, he will have the tendency to fantasize about other people. These people may include a host of different characters, including co-workers, neighbors, and his partner’s best friend or even mom.
In his fantasies, his partners change like the channels on his TV.
Guys roll through the characters in their fantasies, like they’re clicking through television stations with a remote control. What this means is that the starlet at the beginning of the show rarely gets to see the climax (so to speak). I mentioned that men don’t create much of a story to go along with their fantasies. It is more of a free for all, where guests are invited to the action, before being replaced with someone new. It is not unusual for a guy to fantasize about having sex with a crowd of volunteers before he brings down the curtain with one (or two) of his favorites.
He fantasized about having sex with other men.
I mentioned Richard Gere earlier, and I was purposely easing you into the idea that many men consider the possibility of being with another man in their fantasies. These fantasies do not always involve sex, and they rarely offer any hint of homosexual tendencies. Fantasies are just that. A safe place to experiment with some of our most torrid curiosities.
He fantasizes about his worst fears.
A man’s greatest fears become some of his favorite sexual fantasies. For instance, if a man fears going to the doctor, one of his most cherished daydreams might be an encounter with a female nurse who forces him to strip naked and endure a very thorough examination. This suggests that fantasies are not always about perfection, but about turning our most painful weaknesses into moments of pleasure.
He dreams of having a threesome.
Over three-quarters of men have dreamed of having sex with multiple partners. The most interesting fact to go along with this threesome finding, is only six percent of these guys ever bring this fantasy to reality.
She who brought on an orgasm shall eternally be welcome in his fantasies.
Of the amazing cast of characters a guy has to choose from, he actually has a pretty simple set of rules. Men’s favorite fantasies involve ordinary hookups he has experienced from the past resulting in an orgasm (or arousal). This goes against the belief that men will have sex with just any faceless stranger in his daydreams. While he could easily create the perfect woman in his mind, he prefers to relive the moments with a past love interest. This is not to say that he won’t embellish on these moments. He will often make them raunchier than they really were.
Fantasies do not compensate for a boring sex life.
The term “dream on” refers to the need of a fantasy world in order to bring pleasure from an otherwise dull existence. When it comes to sexual fantasies, the guys who have the most sexual fantasies actually report more exciting lives outside of their mind, including more sex, multiple partners, a variety of kinky positions and they even have a harder time keeping their hands off themselves.
“You don’t have to understand sex to enjoy it.” – Psychic Kelli ext. 5130
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35 thoughts on “His Ultimate Sex Fantasies”
Wow,wonder what additional remarks,comments,hangups and sterotypes have been,vented,(good),,expressed,(better) connections ( now were getting hot)or supressed-depressing. As i read and related to much(big smile,please me,I’m more often the people pleaser) of what was said,particularly JJ, & “me”,if I may? Thanks much..Where do I begin ,I’ll try and keep it in a nut shell,however it will be much bigger than a walnut, though very fond of those as in prostates,there great! Playing upon the pun,(intimacy,sexual connection is much work, like marriage,which we never worked hard enough at, although there was much play with our children just not enough in the bedroom.no pardon necessary. As I’ve spent 20 years in the medical field,my long standing joke, I started in medical records, working with, files,doctors,and then transitioned for the next 8 years in OB-GYN field with two wonderful Docs, who taught me alot,about theirr speciality(jokes included),them as men & married passionate professional and personally and yes even thier intimate sexual self, without ever having direct contact, talk about fantasy, I missed out on the stirrups, well just with my personal experience,they did provide me with a little food for thought,fodder for forplay,20 years later!wasn’t Felt it would be to tapping into territory better left to the ones who left their scent and paid the rent.ready guess, or so I spectulm,-ate .now..,I’ve played with it in my minds eye,i,however,side note most of my visualition, as I prefer to think of them often don’t have faces,( never celebarties,lover of George Clooney,seems too unreal.. only the eyes ,face and sexual being,of the one I’m really with, but long appreciator of female breast ,gravitate t(heart,bones) well being a CNA in home health ,at beside with few deaths,trach care,from neck to tummy and bottoms, GI Tube, ColoBag, Pathology,everything from people on paper to hands on, piecesof people( for Biopsy) as a histology tech. Ass. suffice it to say I feel with that and 24 years of being with my husband 28years old. I felt put the spring in my step ,now has left me with barely a bounce,though we still reside with half our family intact. “Me” & Jolene , tickle my thoughts,and trigger my senses the most. As my spouse and I had shared and agreed to give it a try, the threesome thing,which never materalized we were not open,honest,intimate or sexual read ,regardless of lack of trust,insecurities or sexual baggage, if you prefer. I’ve been aware of myself,as a sexual being since 8, with the water play that since I discovered in the bath tub, before I really understood,what “sex” was or had done at any level. I think a close your mind,body and spirt off,rather one gets off or not,as it is said many women have not, personaly respond more to outter,then inner in that area,but compromise is al ways a big help rather it’s done in turns or accomplished together,difficult but doable. To the Gent who seems to have given up,make love to you,have sex with self,rather it be visual,mentally & or physically,you will feel better. Keep you mind open,your body primed and your heart hopefully .”Unable to enjoy sex,cuz he’s never been in love” . sex is what ,is indicated on a birth certificate,describing , male or female,sexuality is as defined in the Webster, love my dic & Thesarus,is “expression of sexual receptivity or interest, which I feel starts with self. and it’s pleasures,frustrations and rewards is a life learning path of discovery,with or withoiut a partner. I’m just growing into mine,at 50+ . Perhaps that ‘s why there is a majority of sucessful swingers, for lack of a better slang,done more successfully by the cougar & Mountain Lion set,never accured to me before, younger me thought they were bored,Live,love and learn. IT’S SO MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT, CONNECTION,FEELING,BEING REAL WITH YOURSELF FIRST AND THEN BEING SINCERE,opps, sorry for caps don’t look just tapping along,,Toe, Ball Heel, a good metaphor, start on the dance floor and work your way around each others,needs wants,desire and fears, and find the formula that works for your both,one step at a time. Rather you end up doing the tango,with someone else,regardless of which gender,or the two step..if you move,groove,love and laugh while your learning to express all this, wow, my hat,shoes,and .. evertyhing else,slowly but gladly is off too you, nothing but well wishes,big hugs and kisses,in an sincere friendly way, Yes finding your BF & lover is, I agree an ideal fit,match,but I l from personal exp. find that breaking the ice with a kiss on the lips,tits,taint,aint the best way to feel the breeze and get this blowing,growing just chills the ice,which only gets harder to melt.The moments that can only be cherish in never felt shared connection, which will rarely be replayed in the same way again! Perhaps it’s best to be friends first and for most, because like with everything else in life, there are shift in energy and changes, regardless..so when the shift in the lust,love seems to linger,there are other was areas of common and indivual interest that carry you through till the wave has time to build and gain momentum again. Behind every Passionate soul is a person who belongs,beside, behind &in front of each other! start with self,then share and care about every thing and everyone with a pure heart and open mind, which will hopefully grow till we are no more. Sadly my spouse and I have struck out! But I will always love him as the father of my children, but missed the mark in understanding and connecting with him on so many levels! We did not accomplish any thing, in efforts to heal forgive and go on..So be it..do to lack of all that and more.Now shall we all take a deep breath and relax, helps with just about everything,and anal play regardless with who or how is not something to put in a box and shut the lid, as a sphincter muscel ,such as that,as with around our eyes can open and close comfortably if we relax,and rest our mind(biggest and best sex organ) I have been playing out fantasy since before I ever saw a mag,or porn,which I do partake in.,enjoy eroticc reading the most, and I intend to have the play swing if just for me as I do feel if you can’t please your self it’s hard for someone else too please you or vice versa.Good luck to all ,when in doubt take time out,laugh,listen or shout it out,write it to each other,anything and everything has potential,if passion is in play, the possibilities are endless! Have some fun,don’t sweat it if your aren’t at it!!!;0 ..”If we don’t find any pleasure,(which cums in many measure, it’s not the end of the road or compilation..but the joy of giving and receiving the pleasure of touch,exploration and so much more that counts not the ,creamy stuff. Thanks Much for helping me learn something new about myself and allowing to express in this very personal way, ahoy,mates!! Gone go look for a wave to catch! Marc just said farwell to Jim Ladd and said come by “I’ll get you drunk and do you in the butt” I say what a guy, in so masny ways,oh he’s from KLOS and very happily married for 25 some yrs!!
The sex you and your partner have together is yours.If one or both of you bring someone else into your minds you dont always have to say anything to the other.
It was an intresting article.
Thank You
I have almost a year with out having sex because my man says he’s scare of hurting the baby because am pregnant but I don’t know if I could take it no more wat can I do???
I totally agree with responder, ‘ME’…well stimulated men DO have a much greater capacity for intimacy. A healthy sex life automatically brings harmony and well-being into other areas of the relationship. Couples who have sex *at least* a few times per week report much higher levels of marital satisfaction besides greater intimacy levels in and out of the bedroom…
Too, I gotta give kudos to ‘Me’… I laughed out loud when I read your statement about how “the article makes men sound like a bunch of goat humpers who can dream their way to total sexual domination”. I appreciate your use of humor AND eloquent articulation, LOL!! =)
Priceless guidance here for girls (scroll down to see the full original response from reader ‘ME’ – good stuff):
***Women- stand up for your dang selves and get these boys on their knees and keep em busy.. you wow them enough and they’ll never get you off their mind… but when they do tell you those hot dirty things that make you blush- be brave and do them!!!! You’ll probably have fun~ Add a twist they weren’t expecting- Here’s the formula for happy actively engaged partners: give them what they ask for, get what you ask for, and keep them guessing. Secret to the best sex of your life. I promise.”
This is substantial advice and really WORKS!
Shit, I am a writer too. Last time. “Abstained.”
Oops, that was supposed to say “obtained” not “obtained from sex…”
I think I am just as perverse as any of my past three husbands. The only difference is I”m completely open & honest with them whereas, since men are genetically wired/built to be able to procreate multiple times per day, therefore monogamy is “work” for them – none of my ex’s were ever open enough to ask me how I felt about allowing them to explore with others or any boundaries that needed to be clear between us to ensure multi-partners ( affairs in their case) would not harm our comitment/ marriage/trust or put either of us at risk for std’s.
My last husband was, truly, my soul mate. I didn’t necessarily climax more with him, but we had obtained from sex for a week prior to & after our marriage vows. When we went on our honeymoon, the first night we had sex since a week prior to our marriage, we both had the most amazing sexual/Spiritual experience either had ever had. Some people work at this type of “connection,” & it’s usually referred to as “tantric sex.” Since it came completely natural or “authentically,” for us I took it to be what the word ‘consumation’ was originally placed upon consecrating marriage vows back in biblical times. Until one has experienced something of this nature, completely organically & without reading up on it, doing a retreat or any other number of ways that couples eventually ” learn” to have this type of sexual/Spiritual union, one cannot possibly comprehend the absolute intensity & beauty that comes when to human bodies along with to separate Spirits within those bodies all join as One.
What’s sad is how, as much as I was open & honest with him & willing to allow just about anything so long as it was a mutual agreement where sex was concerned, I believe because he had two sides to himself ( literally) & reserved what he considered to be his “good side” for me – he was involved with another, younger girl ( I say girl because I was already 19 years younger than him) who he was more honest with since she knew about me & from what came out he only shared his dislikes about whatever was happening so far as his own misconceptions of who I was (probably to make both himself feel justified in betraying my trust as well as making her feel less insecure about his comitment to her) but the way he tried to live two completely separate as well as opposing lifestyles, putting her before me so far as honesty/respect – well one cannot ever know the severity of that literal heart break. I say literal because I physically felt my heart being torn in half over & over.
The funny thing is, she wanted him to herself, but she was with other guys/girls while demanding him to divorce me. She gave him both oral & genital chlamydia & since he obviously didn’t respect me or was just fucking selfish, he kept passing it to me. She obviously was equally selfish because she didn’t bother to be honest/considerate enough with him to tell him she was infected.
The sad thing is, she & I met on FB & I immediately knew she was the girl he had been carrying on with all the while getting angry at me whenever I approached him with the obvious, physical evidence that screamed he was involved with someone else. I was merely opening the door for an honest line of communication in order to establish those all important boundaries. All it did was let him know what he needed to do differently to keep his double life going. Classic case of what’s good for him is unacceptable for his “wife.”
I seriously hope he marries her so he can know just how much he lost by lying & even trying to convince me I was insane. I am a professional psychic whose gifts were given at birth & only grow broader & stronger with age. Did he really think I wouldn’t know exactly what the hell was going on? Arrogance or ignorance, that is my question. Oh, she was a client of mine as well as one of her girlfriends. That same gf is the one who called years prior pretending to be seeking help for a husband who never existed. The fact that I immediately knew she was describing me as my exhusband would describe me to his mistress & the fact I have acute senses & could hear the mistress in the background over the phone laughing her ass off – well, anyone with an IQ above her age could conclude the obvious.
More marriages would survive if more women were as open & accepting of not only their own sexuality, but of their partner’s as well. Equally true, without complete honesty in any relationship it is going to come back around on the one who would rather play games than be a grown up, vomited adult. It hurts me because he still lies about all of it to this day & there was never before nor especially now any need to be dishonest except for his own engrained fear of rejection or retaliation.
Let go of fear & trust. You will not always be rewarded with positive results when dealing with another, very fallible human being, but you will never get the results of your heart’s desires fulfilled if you don’t open yourself to possibilities.
That was on me for anyone enlightened enough & aligned with Spirit enough to feel what I said to be Truth. No charge or applause required. Just hoping to help at least one suffering human being.
Where do you get your data, “most men”, 6%? Unless this comes from some actual research based study, I prefer to believe that “all” men are
different, just as “all” women
are different, with some similarities
Hi,
My man also wants anal sex and wanna try all the positions shown in porns! At the begining of our marriage I allowed and tried all the possible ways but then I realised that it really hurts and I basically was not enjoying such awkward positions. It really irritates me as he seemed to enjoy without taking my comforts and wish into consideration. He also keeps watching all those dirty porns till date (after 10 yrs of marriage).
As a result, we both not having sex or make love since last 4 yrs now. Exept few moments where we came close n did foreplay tats it. We are just staying together without any physical intimacy between both of us.
Moreover sine last 2 yrs I’m emotionally attracted or perhaps in love with a very attractive, physically strong and a handsome guy 🙂 He is my dreamboy, my fantacy and I want him in reality too 🙂
Not sure I totally agree with this article. Kind of depends on the man. Most men I have dated I don’t think would want three-somes, but what do I know? I did know one that did and he picked out another girl. We were both friends and neither of us had ever been with another woman. It was so embarrassing, because being a Leo, I’m not much of a sharer. We both were ROFL, so it did not turn out that well. I don’t like to share and since I’ve tried it I never will again. If I am with a man I want all of him with me, not sharing with another woman. Might as well go Mormom and embrace polygamy!
Well i have been there done that. i was married for 18 years and a swinger for 10 of those. And had lots of both his and my fantasies played out for real. Could have his cake and eat it too. But guess what~still cheated. All he had to do was ask.
So if that being the case how far do u go to keep your marriage safe by giving into playing out fantasies.
some fantasies should be left as that and kept to urself and your own mind and not integrated into a relationship. I beleive they should kept to yourself and to be used when connecting with yourself to remind u of who you are when your not someone’s partner or someone’s mother\father.
every body needs to keep a little of themselves inside so they don’t loose sight of who they really are.
Women find this easy. Men can’t.
it’s kinda gross that a man isn’t thinking about the woman he’s having sex with so, what’s the deal whenever he’s in a 3-way? who are his fantasies about when he’s actually having sex with two women? is anything ever enough? seems to me that, nothing and nobody is ever capable of having a man’s undivided attention. he is incapable of ever keeping his mind from thinking about having sex with multiples- whoever they may be. guess it-is-what-it-is.
but for me, sex just needs to feel good and accomplish the mission of orgasm; but it doesn’t necessarily require mindless fantasies, multiples, goats, gays, and other friggin’, torrid acts.
If the sex is mediocre- bringing fantasies in from both partners is a good way to make it great sex. If one partner is unwilling to make a compromise then that couple is not a good match and should rethink their involvement with one another. I thought this article would have more or less highlighted things to do to captivate your partner instead of insist that men just cant be mentally present while fornicating and that the less present with their current partner they are the more sexual reward they gain… what kind of message is that? Sad and certainly not the case in a healthy relationship.
Also- I’d like to add that well stimulated men have a much greater capacity for cognitive intimacy with their physical partner than described here. Of course we are all fantasizing about different things while getting it on but really.. this article makes it sound like men are just shallow goat humpers who can daydream their way to total sexual domination.
Women- stand up for your dang selves and get these boys on their knees and keep em busy.. you wow them enough and they’ll never get you off their mind… but when they do tell you those hot dirty things that make you blush- be brave and do them!!!! You’ll probably have fun~ Add a twist they weren’t expecting- Here’s the formula for happy actively engaged partners: give them what they ask for, get what you ask for, and keep them guessing. Secret to the best sex of your life. I promise.
This is the old sag here and you know I loved girls all my life if I had sex with them they knew it and this part about fantasy where in the heck did this come from a ten yr. old with a playboy magazine. I lost the one girl I truely loved but was married twice and always loyal to the one I was with but come on girls if your guy isn’t looking at some pretty little thing sometime he possibly is gay. Hey I don’t just look at pretty girls I tell’m about it you know badonky donk, you guys I’ll be 55 divorced and hey tell the girls there pretty that’s what girls or made for that does mean your goin to get rolled or whatever. Best luck to guy that see the most and lets em know it.
wow…. thats real talk…. us women just try to act like everythang ur saying is exaggerated…its not… men are just worried about who n when there gona get the next piece of ass. is there any true, loving,loyal,gentleman out there anymore? if so please send him my way…PLEASE N THANK U….
I’m a woman and my best fantasy is having a three-some with 2 strong men!!
everybody have fantasies, people have to be honest about them, and if married, the level of intimacy should allow you to talk about it with your spouse. If he doesn’t like it, then that’s it, you keep dreaming about it! having fantasies doesn’t mean you are a bad person or you are going to cheat..I think people should be open about their partner’s preferences , it really does add to the spice!
To Charlene…if that is referring to me you are right. I felt ugly for 20 years because my husband WAS NOT present. That is why sex and or passion is so important in a relationship. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know if you aren’t thinking on the same page in the bedroom then it is time to for help. It’s not about anal, 3somes, same sex, or even goats for that matter. It’s about connection…If a person makes you feel alive and encourages you to be the best that you can be and you do the same for them the bedroom will naturally happen. This is why I am still searching. I want a best friend and a lover. He is out there.
Sue June 14, 2012 at 5:21 am
My husband fantisized about a 3-some for the last 20 years of our marriage, to the point that is all he would talk about in bed, either that, or how he wanted to try a prostitute. I was so bad he was pressuring me into agreeing to the other woman, that he had even picked her out!!!! I refused, he had yet another affair, and game over.
This is not a 20 year marriage you are speaking of; if it is; you have had no communication sexually for 20 years;
Well, then I guess men can’t complain if their sexual relationships with their significant other is boring as he doesn’t ever seem present to be experiencing her. Real intimacy is about being present to a real partner you’re having sex with.
Then why do men have a significant other at all except to insure he doesn’t have to constantly seek one out? It seems so superficial and empty to me! And the man is in an intimate relationship while avoiding his actual partner and intimacy!
My life is , I don’t know Love ,never have . Enjoy your sex , I can’t .
I loved this article. I have not a clue when it comes to guys and I think there needs to be more information out there. Guys just are not willing to talk about these issues.
None of this helps me. Husband was married to stripper before me and had threesomes a few times. Yet, he still bugged me for years…I caved but it was with him and his best friend…and no, it wasn’t GAY. They never went near each other. Even giving him that, ten years later, he still wants another with a girl this time. It’s almost caused us divorce. Wish he would just consider himself lucky to be in the 6% category. Goats? No. lol
The guy I met and slept with in January was fantasising about watching another man having sex with me. He was whispering his fantasies to me, which also included bringing his mate along the next time. I didnt say anything at the time, because he was an amazing lover and I was enjoying him. However he was under the illusion that I would bring his fantasies in reality but there was no way I would do that. I wanted a relationship and therefore he refused to see me again. He was attractive with an amazing body but I wouldnt step outside my moral guidelines. We were still in contact until recently but I’m over him now!
Nightie,night.
The most human act a Earthling ever performs is sexual intimacy called conjugal sex that originates in the mind.
My guy asked if I would let him have anal sex cuz it was a fantasy. I did & now he wants anal all the time & claims that anal sex is now his favorite way & since it hurt so much, I stopped allow’n it…and now…he cheats & blames me for his cheat’n.
Awesome article Eric…I guess I must think like a man…Sexuality is a beautiful thing and truly happy people embrace it…& Sue he would have left you whether he got the 3some or not. I asked my husband for one and he refused & I respected his decision. After 20 years of marriage we got divorced to find out he was sleeping with someone else for the last 17. Respect for yourself and your own sexuality wherever it is at then you can’t go wrong.
so is it saying that if your man does daydream about other girls an such he wants some one else. because he ant thinking about his girl and how much he loves her and it feels with her.
” The majority of men’s fantasies have little to do with midgets, goats or Richard Gere.”
Eric,…..LOL…..you’re a scream !!!!! Too funny !!!!!
Keep writing with humor…..
I DO LOVE Relationships WITH YOLANDA P.S. I NEED A JOB ……………..Finance
My husband fantisized about a 3-some for the last 20 years of our marriage, to the point that is all he would talk about in bed, either that, or how he wanted to try a prostitute. I was so bad he was pressuring me into agreeing to the other woman, that he had even picked her out!!!! I refused, he had yet another affair, and game over.
why is this sex thing sent to me and this just for me with my partner or for all to read?beacause thease things are lets say…familiar to me and im kinda suprised
I feel their is Gay tendencies in a man, when he ask a woman to have a threesome with him and another man, having another man to enter into their love-making. That is SOoooo GAY!
What about women fantasies? We do have them too!
What about women fantasies? We have fantasies too.