Does love at first sight really exist? Is it lust at first sight, or is it possible to recognize one’s “other half,” one’s perfect match, and soulmate instantaneously?
I have asked this question my entire life. I was always the one who was stuck in a dream world to a degree. One leg was firmly rooted in reality, while the other one was happily stuck in my fantasy world.
I always secretly longed for “the movie.” I longed for meeting “the one” randomly and I imagined how he would look at me and know right then and there that I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, the one he wants to marry and have kids with, and that he would see me truly for all that I am.
It was not after I went on OKCupid that I learned the one lesson that had kept me from finding happiness. After going on 10 dates in 12 days and finding not a single guy to connect with and after really and truly paying attention to my gut, instead of my head, I was ready to drop my attachment to marriage and relationship once and for all.
I had found all these guys pleasant and good looking, but at the same time something was always missing. My gut would come in and say that something wasn’t right and for the first time in my life I listened. I no longer felt a need to justify in my head why this wouldn’t work I created a list of my perfect man. I took a look at it and instead of wondering if I had asked for too much, I smiled and said out loud “HELL NO!”
I looked up to the sky and I thanked the universe for all the blessings given to me, all the gifts bestowed on me and I tucked my list back into my wallet saying out loud “This is what I want. Here is who I am. I will never ever settle again, not for anyone, not for any reason. I will never, ever “make a relationship happen” and fight for another person’s approval, love, time, or attention.”
Three days later I met Andrew. Andrew had been “stalking” me on OKCupid. I saw his profile kept popping up on my “Stalkers” page. I read his profile and thought “WOW!” He was not just incredibly smart and witty, but he knew how to spell, punctuate and use proper grammar. His profile was detailed — he knew exactly what he wanted and wasn’t going to settle for less. He was incredibly good looking, tall, black hair, blue eyes and stylish (dressed all in black like me). I was a bit intimidated.
We started talking via IM for hours. We moved the conversation to the phone and would talk for hours. And we jokingly proclaimed on the second day that we would get married. Andrew seemed too good to be true to me. He was EVERYTHING I had ever wanted and imagined. When we met, it was like in the stories I had made up in my mind since I was a kid. He looked at me, he kissed me and he knew. There was no doubt in him and there was no doubt in me. All the stupid movie cliches applied, including the fireworks and violins playing in one’s head.
NEVER give up or settle for mediocre or “OK!” Bliss could come and sweep you off your feet, as long as you hold steadfast to your beliefs, to who you really are and what is most important to you in life. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love and to be loved in return!”
Andrew and I got married on May 30, 2009. We intend to prove all the doubting Thomases wrong and show them that when you meet your soul-mate, you know and do not require years to figure it out.
18 thoughts on “Love at First Sight Does Exist”
Oh my!!! This is exactly how it was when I met Scott!! We aren’t married… yet. But there’s no doubt, he literally took my breath away! I had to be told, “breath”, by my kids!! He’s it for me.
Love at first sight and he is your Soulmate?? I can related to it…I have meet this man….indeed it was love at first sight when we first meet four years ago…is an instant attraction….every time we see each other… our eyes would meet and he would strikes my heart every times….I felt this strong deep connection to this man….I know that he felted too and I am sure of it…..every time he call out my name his voice goes thru my body and bone….is like I heard and recognized his voice before…..I can NOT be near to him as I felt such strong chemistry between two of us….and because of our present situation…we both have family of our own and with kids….our deep love for each other and strong bond that we have and currently will NEVER be able to persue or grow, as I have my strong religion believed….I wrote a lot of love poems to released my pain in my heart….some I have shared with him….it hurt too much NOT able to be close to him….knowing he belong to some one else and I belong to some one else ….but my heart will always be with him….I rather be me who suffer than some one else suffer….how can I hurt any soul…may be in this life we’re Not meant for each other …but to help other souls.
I believed this man is my soulmate because I meditates a lot due to my religion practice …it lead to something amazing…something out of this world….no one can never explain this KARMA….I am sure he is my soulmate and we been reincarnate few past life… 2 to be exact because I have had dreams….I believed our first past life together we are Brother and Sister….the Second we are husband and wife got married….but some thing terribly happened to me in my past life before this ….I currently have black-out every time I get near him….there has been an incident where I fail and landed on him arn where my hand grab his arm due to my shoe problem…and this happened 2 years ago….I have total black-out and don’t remember a thing…..woked up my hand touching his arm….I apologized and went off my mary way….we both never talked about it after…..I decided to keep our distance from him, as it is too painful for me to be near him….my community work has ended where we will see each other less…that was how we both meet 4 year ago….as I said ” I rather be me being the one who get hurt than some one else”….I can NOT hurt any soul…..so afraid his wife will find out….I strongly believed if we are the two love souls supposely to be together and forever…I pray that “God make every thing so beautiful and that day will be joyful” for this life or next life….my heart will always be with him for ever….
1. Love at first sight or Is He Your Soulmate?? I can related to it…I have meet this man….yes, indeed it was love at first sight when we first meet four years ago…is an instant attraction….every time we see each other… our eyes would meet and he strikes my heart….I felt this strong deep connection to this man….I know that he felted too and I am sure of it…..every time he call out my name his voice goes thru my body and bone….is like I heard and recognized his voice before…..I can NOT be near to him as I felt such strong chemistry between two of us….and because of our present situation…we both have family of our own and with kids….our deep love for each other and strong bond that we have and currently will NEVER be able to persue or grow, as I have my strong religion believed….I wrote a lot of love poems to released my pain in my heart….some I have shared with him….it hurt too much NOT able to be close to him….knowing he belong to some one else and I belong to some one else ….but my heart will always be with him….I rather be me who suffer than some one else suffer….how can I hurt any soul…may be in this life we’re Not meant for each other …but to help other souls.
I believed this man is my soulmate because I meditates a lot due to my religion practice …it lead to something amazing…something out of this world….no one can never explain this KARMA….I am sure he is my soulmate and we been reincarnate few past life… 2 to be exact because I have had dreams….I believed our first past life together we are Brother and Sister….the Second we are husband and wife got married….but some thing terribly happened to me in my past life before this ….I currently have black-out every time I get near him….there has been an incident where I fail and landed on him arn where my hand grab his arm due to my shoe problem…and this happened 2 years ago….I have total black-out and don’t remember a thing…..woked up my hand touching his arm….I apologized and went off my mary way….we both never talked about it after…..I decided to keep our distance from him, as it is too painful for me to be near him….my community work has ended where we will see each other less…that was how we both meet 4 year ago….as I said ” I rather be me being the one who get hurt than some one else”….I can NOT hurt any soul…..so afraid his wife will find out….I strongly believed if we are the two love souls supposely to be together and forever…I pray that “God make every thing so beautiful and that day will be joyful” for this life or next life….my heart will always be with him.
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l am inspired.Thank you for your lovely story.All th best wishes for the future.
I am happy for you, I wish you both the best of everything. I have just lost my dad, and my mom is lost they had been married for 53 years. I know this to be true, this is the way it happened with my parents.
Blessings and love
I am sooo Happy for this couple. Thank You for sharing.
I had one chance at love at first sight. It was very extreme. Both starring, looked at each other the exact same time, very heart throbbing, butterflys, the whole works. Sadly, we were both to afraid to approach one another. This has never happened again. I call it poor, twisted fate. Don’t think he was from my area. Saw him 2 or 3 times for 10 seconds and just froze at each other. Never saw him again. It was about 21 years ago. I blew my chance. Forgot about it for years and have dreams once in a while and then it’s back in my mind. Had to settle for 2nd best but what can I do? Don’t ever let something like this slip by. It could of been my true happiness. It was a once in a lifetime chance and I blew it. Wish fate could bring us together once more. Maybe in my next life. Just my luck as always.
I’ve actually met 3 “soulmates” in my life- the second was also not meant to be, and when we first met I was still married and looked to him as a friend only. The third is actually one of my best girl friends. Every meeting came instantly with the sense of already knowing the person- there was no need to be afraid to trust, or afraid of being too open- and also there was that instant loyalty. I truly believe that I have known each of them in previous lives, and so I immediately “recognized” them at our first meeting in this life. My best friend and I even share many parallels in this life, but occurring several months apart- we went to the same college (45 minutes away from our hometowns) but only for a year each (and a year apart.) Her oldest daughter was born a year before mine and she named her Rachel, which I almost named my daughter; her son’s middle name is Thomas- my son’s name. And we got hired by the same employer 6 months apart; and sadly our father’s have suffered through the same debilitating illness. Even though our busy lives have made it difficult to get to know many details about each other, we have always felt a strong bond and I consider her family and would die for her as I would for any family member.
I can only hope that somewhere there is yet one more person that I already know in my heart, that already knows me, and that upon meeting we will instantly recognize each other. I’ve known Carmen for a few months now through her blog (very inspirational lady!) -and her story has inspired me to believe that it is indeed possible 🙂
But for now I’m concentrating on praying that the Universe will find a way to forever reunite another best friend/sister with the soulmate she recently became reacquainted with- any suggestions on how, as an outsider, I can send some positive energy their way would be much appreciated- Thank you!
And they lived happily ever after! Well written story of a real life discovery. Carmen very happy for you!
Hi Sue,
Oh my God! Your story really touched my soul. I lived through a similar experience. I met a boy when we were both 11 years old, and it was love at first sight for both of us. We began dating in 7th grade, but for whatever reasons my very young brain couldn’t fathom, I broke up with him. I realized the mistake I had made, but by that time he had already moved on to someone else. I pined away for him for years. I remember the day I decided to tell him exactly how I felt about him. That was also the day I found out he had a girlfriend and it was too late. But I also can’t say that I have too many regrets about never being able to be with him because I have three great kids, but there’s a part of me that knows that if we HAD gotten it right, we would have had our “happily ever after.” The best thing is that I do have him in my life now….he’s my best friend. We talk on the phone about twice a week (we live on opposite Coasts), and we’ve talked about how much we love each other, but only now it’s different. Yes, we’re soulmates…. not as lovers, but as very dear friends.
Hugs,
Fran
Here’s why I believe in Love at First Sight:
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship KNOWS they are not perfect, there will be stumbling blocks, and you have to work at it.
When you see someone for the first time- AND YOU KNOW INSTANTLY THAT HE/SHE IS “THE ONE”- you are instantly predisposed to do anything and everything for the other person’s happiness. You are automatically hard-wired to work through the tough times (which most experts will tell you is what makes relationships stronger.) You actually WANT to do whatever you can for the one you love, rather than wanting them to do for you. And I also believe you are better able to read that person’s state of mind and respond to it, whereas otherwise you might put on blinders or “rose-colored glasses” and ignore what is right in front of you.
I knew the first time I saw Paul that I loved him- I was 12- it was a physical feeling, like a punch to the heart. And although I was a very shy and reserved girl, it was not so with him. I completely opened up to him, and would have done anything for his happiness, even when he told me (yes while I was trying to plan a “movie moment”) that he had a girlfriend. He remained a good friend to me; and even told me once, when I lamented that I felt “like a weed”- something that no one wanted- that “a weed is just a flower in the wrong place.” I was 18 when the reality of his love for Tina sunk in, and I let him go.
Two years later I had a dream about him- he was surrounded by blackness, and he needed me. I was soon to be married to a man who, although I believe now that he did love me in his own way, manipulated and emotionally abused me. I called off the wedding…
I found out that Paul and Tina were no longer together- this should have been happy news, and a second chance. We were sitting outside a bar, in his pick-up truck, talking. We could have gone in the bar that night, or somewhere else. We could have made love, and I know it would have been amazing.
But because I truly loved him, I couldn’t be selfish, I couldn’t be dishonest. I told him I was already pregnant with my fiance’s child. I destroyed my second chance- and ended up marrying my baby’s father (something I can’t completely regret because of my beautiful daughter AND son.)
Since then I have been divorced twice, and while my ex-husbands caused the majority of the problems in those marriages, I am not completely without fault. And I believe my biggest fault was not being able to give 100% -both of my marriages grew out of friendship first, and don’t get me wrong- I loved both of my exes- but there was always a little bit of me that I held back- that I was afraid to reveal- a part of me that knew that this relationship was NOT “the ONE.” And the longer the marriage went on and the more trouble there was, the LESS effort I put into it, until I couldn’t take the pain anymore and gave up.
Even my last relationship, in which I really felt I tried to be open and put my all into it, I couldn’t quite give 100% until I knew my boyfriend was giving all of himself as well(which due to his own issues he was unable to do either.)
So this time I refuse to settle- and I hope that if I ever again meet someone who causes that instant “punch in the heart” feeling, that he will feel the same and we will both trust that feeling and follow our hearts. I truly believe that only then will I find my “happily ever after.”
Carmen, you are my inspiration- proof that it CAN happen, and is worth waiting for. Congratulations on ALL your blessings!
I love the article Carmen! And you’re so spot on! You’re the 5th or 6th person who’s done the list and found the one shortly after! I have my list and I’m also not going to settle! You go girl!
Jackie
Hello Carmen!
Fabulous article! I enjoyed it so much. And might I add, CONGRATULATIONS on your marriage!!! How wonderful that you and Andrew found each other. May your lives always be filled with those “aaah” moments!
Oh, and I believe in love-at-first-sight, too. It’s real, it’s true, and it’s awesome!
Hugs,
Fran
I miss my soulmate Jenny ….. night & day …. trust me …. the feeling is unlike anything I’ve ever known or felt in my whole life and its all thanks to her and who she truly is. I wish everyone the very best…. I hope they all find their ” the one ” like I have. Blessings & Love 🙂
very true! loved the article.
Yes! Now that’s what I am talking about.
It’s out there. It does exist.
Blessings,
Miss Krystal
Amen Sister
Many Blessings & Cyber Hugs
~Abigail`