Get Out of the Bad Relationship Cycle!
As a Spiritual Counselor I’ve heard many accounts of unrequited love—relationships that have gone hopelessly wrong. Some of my callers have been terribly deceived, abused or used, while others have experienced abandonment without explanation, leaving them puzzled. They wonder what they did wrong. They’ll ask why the can’t find the right person. They’re afraid that they’ll become jaded and think that love isn’t worth the pain it causes. They feel like happiness is not possible through LOVE. But it is!
Call Psychic Tajah ext. 5732 for a detailed relationship reading today!
You’re Caught Up in a Cycle
If you’ve experienced disappointment in your previous relationships you can get caught up in a cycle. Like a scratched record in which the needle gets stuck in a grove or a glitch in a CD, all you’ve heard are sour notes!
We repeat what we don’t quite understand until we seek a solution. If we’ve watched our mother or father in failed relationships we often duplicate their suffering, because there was never a solution or answer to end the cycle. But humans are natural problem solvers. We seek success, or rather to pass life’s tests so we can move on.
PTRD
Many of us have what I like to call PTRD—Post Traumatic Relationship Disorder. Without knowing it, we become magnets attracting unhealthy relationships. We hope the next relationship miraculously becomes the “happily ever after,” but it usually does not. f you think about it, you’ve probably watched the swirling dark clouds on the horizon of your relationships long before the trouble begins. Choosing to deny or ignore them continues the cycle of PTRD.
If you’re suffering from PTRD, there are several things you can do to overcome it:
1. Get a psychic reading. Let the psychic teach you how to listen to your inner voice.
2. Talk to your partner about what is troubling you. If they’re healthy, they’ll listen to you and try to understand your feelings.
3. Take a break from dating all together. Use the time to reconnect with yourself. Set a date for when you plan to return to love’s playing field.
4. Never allow yourself to believe that loves means you will always suffer. Just because your last lover was an absolute jackass, it doesn’t mean every one will be too. Don’t fall victim to “so as you think, so as you live.”
5. Don’t think about your ex-partner having a good time with someone else. They’re probably not. If you’re thinking about them, you aren’t focusing on yourself. There’s no room for the green-eyed monster!
6. Lastly, forgive those ex-loves who have wronged you, but don’t forget what they did or how it made you feel. You can’t walk forward by looking back. If you stay the same, you will miss out on all the beauty of life unfolding before you.
You Will Heal
The pain of lost love will heal. It will heal faster if you can Let It Go! And remember not to beat up on yourself. You’re not stupid. You didn’t “let this happen.” It’s not your fault. It’s theirs. You have shown them the greatest expression of selflessness. They were given an opportunity to experience unconditional love and they abused that precious gift. They will one day realize their missteps, be it in this lifetime or future ones.
43 thoughts on “Psychic Tajah on Relationships: Are Your Suffering From PTRD?”
Thanks Serene for your comment!
Not sure if you were thinking about me while you were writing this, Tajah (lol), but I loved your article. It rings so true to me on many levels. It almost sounded like you were talking directly to me. Thank you. 🙂
I was in a long distant relationship for 2 years at first things was ok but since feburary I notice a change my feelings don’t matter I cant talk are express my feeling and when I do all he says was ok instead of talking to me so I decided to end it because I felt I was not benifiting from it
did I do the right thing don’t know but if he loves me the way he say he does then I will see
Debbie,
No words can convey how you must feel. But he’s caused more harm to himself. Love should not be taken lightly. You will see the result of his folly. Thank you so much for your comments.
William H
Thanks for your comment, you don’t have to be wordy, I know. You keep on moving forward, Love is waiting.
Carol,
Thank you for your wonderful comment! Smile Girl, you’re on your way to the love of your life!
Luz Rivera
Please don’t let you self worth be caught up in this. You need to step back and let this drama play out. If he’s been abusive in the past and using his personal problems to excuse him; in the future little will change. I always say, ‘they usually don’t get better; they get better at it!’ You deserve better. Thanks for your comment.
Jula,
You will not become calloused and apathetic, because you’ve too much heart. I want you to continue to remember how wonderful and important you are! I see much happiness in your future. You will have that Special Love to have and to hold. God Bless You, Jula.
Thank you so much for your comments.
Jenni,
Don’t settle! Don’t Settle! DON’T SETTLE! Your inner self is screaming STOP! You need time. You are still healing. The closure event has not occurred yet, until it does you will feel unstable in your love relationships. Set a time for your re-emergence to the relationship arena. Get busy in the meantime, learn a foreign language. In a few months you will be back in the Pink!
Kgoody,
You go Girl!!! Look at you! You are speaking with so much truth and experience. I know it was difficult! But you made it and endured. Now you can become a spokesperson to others. When you truly love yourself you won’t tolerate, ABUSE, emotion, physical or psychological. Which is what you’ve done.
Kgoody, you are an inspiration! Thank you for your comment!
Linda Pickett
Thank you for your comment. My prayers are with you and you will have the Love, Joy and Peace that surrounds you now!
Lisa Jolly
This is a common response for a person that’s left a good relationship to discover that what they had was the BEST. If you decide to ‘try again’ you should start from the beginning. Dating, wooing, and sharing dreams. If you see a repeat of old behaviours, tell him about it and move on. Most often tigers don’t change their stripes, but there’s always exception to every rule.
Kendra,
I hear you. Time will allow you to heal and it is normal to wish the unhappiness on others that have hurt us. But to adhere to negative thoughts that are non productive makes us less likely to move forward. Fall in Love again, with yourself! You deserve so much more that HE could ever have given you. Make peace within yourself, this is YOU time. Rediscover the beauty within YOU, reconnect with the joy in your heart, it’s still there.
Tajah
I certainly suffer from this! I’m hurting now over an ex who is described here to a T!!
I called and it seems as though their are forces that are against it now
I felt that I was reuniting with my ex again. He says he isn’t for certain.
That was great info about PTRD. I just happened to see it and it was very helpful as I have just become single again after a long and painful divorce. Letting go is so difficult and I think I am suffering from PTRD. Thanks for the awesome info. Very helpful.
I needed to read this I keep thinking I did something wrong for him to have done me the way he did, but I do have to move on with my life I know I’m worthy of Love and it will be his loss. I’m trying to stop hoping that what he left me for fails Lord forgive me cause I want everyone to make it in this life happy even if now with me, but if only my mind and heart would get on the same page.
So if you had a relationship with someone, broke up, years later reconnect. Should I take a chance, believing him when he says he’s grown and realized what we had was nice
Thank you for this…troubled relationship for 16 years, having
a hard time getting over it…im going to read this everyday
It is hard to let go! it is true that we end up thinking that it is our fault! :/
I NEVER knew nor even heard of PTRD, before reading this post. Upon not only finishing it in its entirety, I had absorbed each word internally due to what became The Obvious Fact that it had caught my FULL attention because I can relate 100%. I always wondered “Why DO I Always Attracting The SAME Types of Men?” The MORE Loyal I am, The MORE Abusive the relationship ALWAYS became! I also, couldn’t figure out WHAT IT WAS I AM DOING WRONG? What did I do to deserve this? And of course in desperate times of Fear and Genuine concern for MY safety…MY LIFE. I would first ask God “Is this what I am put on this Earth for, only to suffer? Then secondly, I excepted “God’s Will” for me, I excepted the answer to my 1st question. YES! This is what God’s purpose is for me. Just excepting it somehow made it easier for me to cope with.
Here I am now, these times have past as time always does. I am FINALLY FREE OF THESE UNHEALTHY, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS! Ohhh No…I CAN NOT TAKE THE CREDIT FOR THAT EITHER! IN ALL HONESTY, GOD DID FOR ME….WHAT I COULD NOT DO FOR MYSELF!!! REMOVED THE MOST RECENT UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP FROM MY LIFE, WITHOUT NOTICE! The sick thing being, when I reflect back on that early Spring morning when he (my ex) left for work, and that was the last time I had seen him in person. He was completely removed from my life, Physically. I was so heartbroken, Lost, Devastated! Felt a pain far beyond any physically afflicted pain could bring! Why was this? I mean, after all the pain, hurt and mistrust this man has put me through (very similar to my other past relationships.) Why was I feeling AS IF I had just lost the “Man Of Every Woman’s Dreams?” FAR FROM THE TRUTH!! Denial? Fear? Even told co-dependant! Last I heard, he is in good health and all. I have, OVER TIME, learned to LOVE MYSELF 1st! Get to know WHO I really am, WHAT I like & DO NOT, Hobbies…so on & so forth. Thank you for the GREAT POST! It definitely makes ALOT of sense to me. NOW THOUGH!!! Inside the Negativity, the un-healthiness, no room to grow, Be myself, wanted to make everyone else happy, solve their problems & meet their needs when I am neglecting my own. It is VERY difficult to see just HOW BAD THE SITUATION REALLY IS! When “They” say that love is blind!!! That is The TRUTH!!
Again, Thank you for the insight! I have been working on SELF! Will continue to do so! THAT SOUNDS MUCH MORE LIKE GOD’S WILL IF YOU ASK ME!
KIND REGARDS & BEST WISH’S
Keep Spreading The Knowledge! I admire what you do, SO MANY of us NEED IT!!!
I want to thank you for writing this piece. I have and still suffer from this. My problem is trying to be the fixer in the relationship….trying to help them or save them. I realize this doesn’t work, but for some unknown reason I still can’t help myself. Also, there was one love…who left and recently has contacted me again….but the circumstances are all different for both of us and I don’t know how to find closer with this relationship or even if I really want closer. I am in one now and it isn’t all that I really want it to be and don’t know if it ever will….is it worth settling? I am confused yet again.
Not for me I’m 56
I PRAY TO GOD AND THE UNIVERSE FOR HEALING AND TO BE ABLE TO ‘LET GO’ WITHOUT
HAVING A HARDENED, CALLOUSED HEART.
THANK YOU!
I pray to God and the Universe to help me break the cycle of ‘bad’ relationships. Not just with
men, but with women friendship too. I ask that I not feel so depressed about being alone, that
I learn to take better care of myself and my needs and not expect a man to rescue me from
myself. I pray for healing for all who have been hurt by a selfish, and uncaring partner.
I am suffering from a lost love. I knew my guy would be moving to another country and I would eventually ‘lose’ him. Well he left ahead of time and without saying good-bye at all,
just did the ‘disappearing’ act. I was in disbelief, then grief, then angry, and now I just feel
depressed and discouraged by love altogether.
This article helped me to realize that I am not alone, but I sure do FEEL alone right now.
Thanks for reassuring me not to give up on love, just stop making bad choices! I showed
him unconditional love and that was foreign to him. He’s run away from himself and his
emotions, not from me after all!
Thank you for the golden advice. May God bless you.
Yes, I had been abused in all my pasts relationships and in the present one with my boyfriend. He abuse me verbally but when I brake up with him, he comes after me to get me back. I am confused. He is in the process of braking with the mother of his 2 babies. She is abusive to him and extortionist for his child support money using the kids as weapons against him, punishing him without allow him to see them. I am confuse because he doesn’t feel ready for a commitment with me. Not yet. He is hiding from her our relationship.
Hello Tajah, I want to thank you what you wrote above. Sounds crazy but I almost feel like it was written for me. I’ve been moping around for weeks feeling very sad over someone I loved very much who is now with someone else. Blaming myself and confused by it all, your article made me feel much better today and I needed that. Thank you.
Thank you!
I continued to throw bad energy into a selfish black hole of limitless wants. This all ends July 30 and I will not return to darkness for anyone.
Chris Petersen
I needed this
You just made my day and you really made me feel better. I am not good with my words but I wanted to tell you that you really helped me. Thank you.
Tajah,
Your article inspired me. You are totally on target, which is exactly what I am doing right now to find myself after a huge desertion from someone I thought was my lifetime partner. Thank you for reassuring my confidence. This too will pass!
Sincerely,
Debbie
Great article and advice, Tajah!
In the midst of confusion and hurt feelings, it is all too easy to take responsibility for someone else’s behavior.
As the saying goes, “How someone else treats you says nothing about you but everything about them.”
Brightest blessings,
Seren, Ext 5445
No he is not cheating, he is an alcholic and during the summer months spends all his time out at his camp (when not working -Friday to Sunday) with another alcholic buddy. His camp has become – I call it – “his Flop House for Alcholics.” He has no interest in giving up his drinking habits or seeking help. This is a pattern as my Dad drank, my x-husband drank and I married a second time another alcholic. I enable their drinking habits – felt I could help this man as his 1st wife died – knew he drank – but not to this extent. Did not live with him prior to our marriage – am the old fashion type – as was my Mom and 3 other sisters who also married alcholics. The pattern is their – we have to break this cycle. I worried my daughter to my lst marriage would marry an alcholic as her Dad was and she now sees my husband is as well. I prayed for many yrs. that she would not fall into this trap and with God’s blessings she married a nice young gentleman whom I knew from her highschool yrs, and knew his parents – he does not drink. THANK GOD……
At 72 yrs of age – love is not in the picture. I do feel used and mentally abused – I keep praying that God will help me through this for the last time. There was a movie Sleepless in Seattle, well I am going to make a movie -” Useless in Sault Ste. Marie.”…….G
Great wisdom. Thank you.
What a wealth of clear much needed information. It was wonderful to read this and know that other people are experiencing this and most importantly that things can get better. Thanks so much!
i have been in aonline relationship for 2months i havent met him yet for he i in the army is there anyway you can tell me if this relationship has a chance unlike my past ones.
hello psychic tajah, yes i agree what u said here, and i am currently experiencing that with my husband, he abandoned us without explanation.. I let go of him and i am in the process now of moving on… why should i stuck myself in that kind of relationship… Life must go on!!
Thank you for the building words.My Relationship is almost ending and I love him so much but I can’t go on with the fact that jis friends and party life is more important to him than our Relationship
I would like a reading
it’s so true!!!! I’ve been in that situation… 🙁