You Deserve Happiness, But You Have to Create It

Happiness Comes From Within

There is a common misconception among many of my callers that happiness only comes from being in a relationship. Or better yet, it’s someone else’s responsibility to make a person happy. The truth is that happiness comes from within, and it’s up to you to make yourself happy. Not only is happiness something you have to create for yourself, independently of someone else, it’s also something you deserve. Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection.”

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It Starts With Acceptance

Happiness starts with acceptance. Accept your current situation, even if it isn’t ideal. Accept the way you look, even if there are things you’d like to change about your appearance. Accept your family and friends. Accept your job. Accept your life. But know that you can manifest change—if you desire it. If any aspect of your life makes you unhappy, know that you have the ability to make it better.

Then There’s Contentment

Secondly, contentment is necessary. Find contentment in your present situation, contentment with timing, and contentment with your choices—past, present and future. If you’re single, be content with that too. Thinking about what you don’t have won’t make you happy. And the things you think you want won’t make you happy either. It’s important to be content with what you actually have.

True Happiness

Dada Vaswani said, “Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give (pleasure, possessions, power) but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy.” True happiness isn’t linked to the material or the superficial. Remember that.

Happiness in Love

When in a relationship, you and your partner need to compliment each other. Otherwise, you will deplete the relationship by constantly needing and taking. On our karmic journey, we choose happiness, and when we enter into a relationship with another, it becomes a dance. Sometimes you will lead; sometimes you will follow. If you have nothing to give, the relationship will run dry, with the other person feeling drained and unfulfilled. Therefore, beginning a healthy relationship requires stability, security, and a sense of balance within one’s self in order to achieve longevity and happiness.

What’s Making You Unhappy?

If happiness is a state of mind, then the things we think and feel can greatly impact our happiness. Are these adverse behaviors keeping you from being happy?

1. Do you blame other people for your problems? If you do, you’re giving the power and control over your happiness to them.
2. Do you say or think nasty things about your ex or your boss? They can’t hear you, so you’re just filling your head with toxicity.
3. Do you hold on to grudges and anger? You’re keeping yourself from reaching a higher vibrational level if you don’t learn to let go.

Meditation

Meditation can help you get happy. As an avid yogi, I can say that making a mind/body/spirit connection through meditation or yoga works all the way down to the cellular level. Find quiet time to reflect on your life, to find gratitude for your blessings, and to find your inner peace. And connect with Mother Earth. Watch animals frolic, do some gardening, or feel the earth between your toes.

Remember, happiness begins with you.

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