Dear Red,
I met this incredible guy on the internet about six months ago. We chatted every day for those six months, and sometimes on the weekends three or four times a day. We learned a lot about each other from these long conversations. Now, we still chat and talk, just not every day like we used to. I really fell for this guy, and I thought he was doing the same with me. He says he can’t get into a relationship right now due other things in his life, but he says he might be ready in two years. I really think he does like me and would like us to be together. Am I crazy for thinking that there is hope for us being together someday or is it all in my head?
Sandra in Elk Creek
Dear Sandra,
There is never anything crazy about having hope, just conscious choice on how you handle it.
The gentleman with whom you have built this bond does care for you. That is a plus. The minus is that he is being sincere when he tells you that he can’t get into a relationship at this time. Regardless of the reasons he has put forth, the main reason is he does not want to be tied down or obligated right now. I’m not overlooking that he is dealing with other issues that he feels he needs to settle, but I am also seeing that he is also chatting with other women.
Looking at his claim that he may be ready for a relationship in two years or so, well, I have a problem with that. Love and relationships aren’t penciled in on a calendar. They happen when they happen. He’s just keeping the door open with you, giving you something to hold on to while he goes about his life.
I see that the two of you will continue to keep in touch and there is also a very strong possibility of things progressing in March. But, I have nothing that tells me you should sit back and wait. You need to keep going on living your life and be open to other romantic possibilities. I think this man does enjoy the thrill of the chase.
I know you’ve fallen pretty hard for him, but if you focus solely on him and how you want things to unfold, it is much less likely to happen. However, if you shift him into Plan B mode, things are more likely to evolve.
It would be much better for you to hope that this man gets it together while you are available, rather than putting your energy into hoping that this relationship is going to blossom. While this does not present as an impossible relationship, everything I have is telling me that you need to be careful with your own heart and how you proceed.
While I do see this as a relationship that you will allow to play out, I have to caution you that based on the here-and-now, it can go either way. There is some happiness ahead of you with this guy, but I can’t say how long it will last. There is just something about this guy and this relationship that I don’t quite trust at the moment. All I know is that as things progress, more will be revealed.
Brightest Blessings,
Red
Ext. 9226
