Monogamy, Not Monotony

You’ve probably heard popular witticisms like “life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.” It comes as no surprise that many couples have problems with their sex life after marriage. It’s a complicated world that we live in – juggling children, careers, workouts, hobbies, aging parents and a host of other responsibilities. It is little wonder that a dynamic and satisfying sex life seems so difficult to maintain once the honeymoon is over.

Here are a few disturbing after-marriage statistics taken from an independent survey: 80% of couples say they always have sex in the same position, at the same time of day and in the same location. In these marriages, the partners are choosing to stick with the “tried and true” past experiences they’ve grown accustomed to over the course of their relationship. The downside, of course, is that even lobster gets boring if you eat it every meal. One of the things that keeps life interesting is a new experience, so why not keep the spontaneous positions and locations in play?

Another statistic states that 70% of couples say they may have more sex if there was more of an effort made by their partner. This very likely would require taking the time to add a little romance to the boudoir, dedicating some real energy to foreplay, and putting a little effort into your appearance. It’s nothing different from what you typically do in the beginnings of a relationship, which accounts for why the best sex of the relationship is often considered to be in the first part of the courtship!

These negative behaviors can lead to the final devastating statistic: 25% of couples in this study admitted to having a one night stand in order to appease their sexual needs. When you’re not taking time out of your day or week to make romance a priority in your relationship, when you’re not putting any effort into trying new things or dedicating some moments to the art of foreplay, the uncreative and deceitful response would be to look for that excitement and satisfaction elsewhere. This is a sure-fire way to destroy the relationship, either instantly or over time, as the infidelity degrades the marriage.

The fact is that being with the same person will not be as new and exciting as changing up sex partners every few weeks. However, you trade that newness for a deeply loving and faithful relationship built over time with the person you’ve promised to love all the days of your life. If you truly desire a romantic relationship with your spouse, you will find new ways to keep surprising one another. Remember, it’s just another glossy stone in the ground, but once cut and polished, it becomes a cherished diamond. Ultimately, your sex life after marriage is a reflection of the energy, effort, creativity and love that you invest in it.