How To Ask Him Out

Are you guilty of taking a passenger seat in your personal life? Move over! We hear time and again that the burden of posing the question is a responsibility most men don’t relish. Let’s face it, if you wait for him, it might not happen!

It’s time to be the open and confident woman you are. Forget subtlety, your best hints will only slip under his radar. Shy types, don’t fear, you don’t have to be super-forward either. The key is to be clear, but casual. Look for an opening, and if you don’t see one, make one!

The Payback
If a man you’ve been eying goes out of his way for you, seize the moment as the golden opportunity it is. He picks up the tab for coffee? Offer to return the favor sometime. He gives you a ride, offers helpful advice and introduces you to a professional contact? Then you totally owe him lunch (or dinner!) for that. Offering to “pay him back” is a playful and relatively safe way to say you appreciate his efforts … and would like to see more of him.

The Mission
Should a local attraction come up in conversation (or you make sure it does), make a mission of discovering it together. It works for restaurants and martini bars as well as museums and theme parks, and it doesn’t take much. At the mention of somewhere interesting, casually suggest, “We should go sometime.” Unless he’s completely dense, he’ll pick up the cue. If you want to be a bit bolder, seal the deal yourself with a sly “Wanna check that out with me next week?” Make an offer that is clear and immediate and you’re likely to get the same in return.

The Premiere
Bring up the movies (hopefully there’s something out you both want to see). Then give him an opening. “We should go see it this week.” If you feel more comfortable with a cover, add that your friends aren’t really into the flick or have already seen it. This one’s great because you’ve given him a wide open invitation. He knows the way is safe, and still has the chance to do the aggressive guy thing.

The Tip
It’s never a bad idea to tap his mind, just try to make it an honest question. Are you looking for a good cyber café near the office? Something to do after work? He just might have some insights (and be interested in keeping you company).

And if you know anything about him, ask a question in the realm of his expertise. If he works in computers, you might get his help on a technical question or ask for advice on a reasonable upgrade. If he’s an artsy type, stick to the arts. Maybe you’re not in on the scene and are looking for a good art opening. With luck, he’ll be happy to take a look at your Mac or escort you to the event. At the very least, you’ll get a decent tip and owe him dinner for the trouble.