Kill Your Co-Dependence

When you’re in love, you devote so much time and energy to your partner that it’s easy to make your whole life about that relationship. But if you lose yourself in another person, you’ll hurt both yourself and the partnership. But it’s easier said than done!

Bringing the focus back to you may require some effort. You like spending time together, so why wouldn’t you? Well, no matter how much you love being with your partner, you should make time to take care of yourself. Give a little TLC to these five things and you’ll lead a happier, healthy life – and have a more fulfilling relationship.

Your body
Regular exercise is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. You don’t have to run a marathon or spend hours in a gym to get the benefits of a workout. Instead, spend a few minutes of your lunch break taking a stroll in a local park. Or take a few minutes before bed to stretch your muscles or do a few yoga poses and breathing exercises. Scheduling a little “active alone time” into every day will make you look and feel better – and it’ll help you mentally separate yourself from your relationship.

Roots
Maintaining your independence isn’t just about creating more “alone time”- in fact, it often means spending more time with the people you love. When you get into a relationship, it’s only natural that you spend less time with friends in order to make time in your life for your partner. But one sign of codependence is spending too much time with your partner and not enough with the rest of the people you love. Commit one night a week to hanging out with friends or one weekend morning having brunch with family members. Not only will you reconnect with lost loved ones, you’ll appreciate your partner more when you do spend time together.

Heart and soul
Sometimes you give so much love and energy to your partner, it feels like you have nothing left to give to anyone else. But being in a relationship doesn’t have to limit your ability to help other people. A great way to reclaim your independence is to commit to a charitable cause that’s close to your heart. Devote some of your free time volunteering at a homeless or women’s shelter, or visit a children’s cancer ward at your local hospital. Join a local community group or participate in a fundraising walk. Not only will you carve out time apart from your relationship, but you’ll feel better about yourself as an individual for the good work you’re doing.

Spirituality counts
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to think you can get all of your spiritual nourishment from your partner. But it’s just not possible. So, create some alone time for you and your spirit. You don’t have to go to a church or a temple to reconnect with your spirituality – just take time to rest your mind and enjoy your life in the moment. Take a walk on the beach or a hike in the woods. Read a spiritual or self-help book or spend time meditating – even get a reading from a psychic to stay connected to your true purpose and self.

Learning more about yourself will help you grow into a stronger, more independent person. Not only will you be happier in the long run, in a healthy relationship, your partner will find your more attractive! And who knows where that can lead…