Think Ahead in Love

You met someone you are attracted to, and it looks like a good thing. Now what? Courtship has never been as free-form as it is now. But, when there are no rules, how do you play the game without getting hurt or getting stuck in the process. It’s important to stay aware of your own wants and needs to keep your head clear along the path of love. Ask yourself these no-nonsense questions before you agree to go out on a date, have sex or move in together.

Before you go on a date…
Do you want to go on a date or do you want to walk down the aisle? If you are already sewing the veil after you hang up the phone, you are not ready to go on a date. Dates happen in the here and now, and imaginary weddings happen only in your head. A date has only one purpose – to find out if you want to go on another date. It’s not a job interview and it’s not a chance to tell your entire life story, with childhood wounds included, in a few hours. On a date, you spend time with someone and see how you feel when you are with them. Accepting that every dating relationship doesn’t lead to a long committed love will open you to what you have to learn from each person you encounter. Each experience leads you to the next. So, save the veil for an actual wedding and stay in the present.

Before you have sex…
Have you taken the proper steps to protect your health and the health of your partner? Sure, the ’70s were great! But today, there is no excuse to give someone an STD. Get tested for everything and ask your partner to do the same. If your partner refuses to do something that protects your health, well-being and possibility your fertility, you have to ask yourself, is it really worth it? Safe sex isn’t just about condoms, it’s about your heart, too.

Do you want to go to the emotional place that sex takes a relationship? Our bodies are made to have sex! And if your libido is roaring, you may just override your heart and go for it anyway. But even if you decide to let the moment take you away, know that sex does change a relationship, either casual or committed and there’s just no way around it. If your heart and body are ready – go for it!

Before you move in together…
Your toothbrush looks better in their bathroom, so is it time to share the same address? Well, are you ready to share the rent, utility bills, food, furniture, time, space and, perhaps the most contentious of the list, the remote? Knowing you can leave at any time is half the fun of hanging out. Moving in together is entirely different than spending all of your time together.

No one feels overjoyed at co-habitation all the time. Being willing to share is enough of a starting point. Living together is about getting a lot of information about how you feel sharing your space with another person. Just in case you were thinking of some other reasons to move in together, let’s save some time and assure you, it won’t save a relationship that is already ending.

Is this an organic next step in your love for each other? If the answer is yes, put in your 30-day notice and start looking for a place together. If it feels like you are pushing your partner towards something they don’t want, or if you feel pressure to make this connection deeper and you aren’t on board, slow things down.

There are a lot of questions to ask, and with the right person, the answers are all “yes.” Accepting when the answer is “no” is not easy. If you feel confused in your love relationships, give one of our trusted psychics a call. Walking through these questions with someone who can look to the stars for answers can help a lot. And rest assured, whether you’re ready to walk down the aisle or walk your date right out the door, know that there is a lot of love out there, enough for us all.