Elements of Availability

What does it mean to be emotionally available? Well, that’s a long list. If you want to be really basic about it, emotional availability requires that a person be in touch with their own feelings, able to express them and willing to do so with the right person. It also means not being emotionally invested in someone else (an ex or otherwise). So, how can you tell if a potential partner is truly ready to make the kind of commitment you want? Astrology gives us a few clues.

Air
Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are the hardest signs to read when it comes to emotions. Mostly because it can seem like they don’t have any – or that they’re only concerned with their own! Of course, that’s not true. Air signs in their best form can be extremely empathetic, which is a great sign that they’re open to a real connection. Look out for talk that is all me, me, me or a lack of interest in what you have to say. On the positive side, take note of a Gemini whose actions truly match their words (they make good on promises), a Libran who will go deeper than the surface (telling you honestly how they feel even when it’s not good) and Aquarians who hang around even when things aren’t pleasing them (because their natural inclination is to fly away). These behaviors are good indicators that your Air sign isn’t going to – poof – disappear into thin air.

Earth
Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are some of the most grounded people on the planet, which often translates to their willingness to commit. However, they’re not always emotionally available – even in long-term relationships! Virgo can fear revealing a less than perfect inside. Taurus can be too stubborn to allow for give and take and Capricorn… well, the goat can be so concerned with appearances that they subscribe to the “better to remain silent than be thought a fool” adage. The trick with these earthy individuals is to make them feel comfortable and see where it goes. A Virgo who confides a dark secret, a Taurus who knows how to compromise and a Capricorn who doesn’t judge others when faced with a behavior or situation that’s unconventional are probably past the point of burying their heads – or hearts – in the sand.

Fire
Oh, passion! Fierce fire signs Aries, Leo and Sagittarius have no shortage of emotion – or the ability to express it. But that doesn’t mean they’re always open to emotionally reciprocal relationships. In fact, quite the opposite. Oftentimes these headstrong firebrands are so self-centered, their partners get burned in the needs department. Love with a Fire sign is exciting, but can be one-sided… as in you’re doing all the giving and they take, take, take. A self-aware fire sign, however, is one of the best partners anyone could ask for! So, keep an eye out for a Leo whose desire to please matches his need for the spotlight. An Aries who gives you your way even when they’d rather do something else and a Sag who agrees to disagree rather than forcing you to see their point. All of these are signs that your Fire sign love will sizzle, but not combust!!

Water
Still and stormy waters both run deep as is the case with Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. In fact, the Water signs feel more than most – and as such can be quite moody. Knowing that, it may be surprising to hear that Water signs have a tendency to be (gasp!) emotionally unavailable. Scorpio is known for keeping secrets and exuding mystery. Cancer has a tendency to hide beneath her shell, while Pisces, may run so completely on emotion that yours get totally drowned out in the process. If you’re ready to plumb the depths of true love, however, a well-adjusted and open Water sign is just the one to do it with. Let your guard down (a little) if your Scorpio confides in you about lessons they’ve learned without venom toward the teacher. Take note of a Cancer who openly admits to being vulnerable but says they’re working on it. And swim away with a Pisces who exhibits no tendencies toward codependence – letting you be you on your own time and making time to do things for themselves, too. Given these sorts of behaviors, you can leave your life jacket at home and enjoy the ebb and flow.