Be True to Yourself

We’re taught to be unfailingly nice, to be charmingly self-deprecating, to steel our smiles and not let our tears (or fears) show. But these social graces, little by little, turn us away from our truth. Eventually, it’s not uncommon to end up being unsure of what we really, truly think – especially in public, at a party or at work.

Feelings are the best barometers for your internal truths.You know when you’ve strayed far from your true self when you’re constantly angry, struggling or depressed. Remember the last time you ran into your ex? Rather than bursting into tears, or heaving something at their head you probably stood tall, smiled brightly and laughed just a bit louder. Suffering? Not you, as anyone could see.

But these self-protective social acts can silence the quiet, tiny voice inside that speaks our deepest truth – the truth of who we really are and who we want to be. How do you recover the sensitivity to hear your very still, very personal truth? A very powerful method of self therapy (to assist in getting in touch with your core) is journaling.

When you allow your mind the total freedom to just write, thoughts and feelings you didn’t even know existed will therapeutically pour out of you. Whether written in mirror image cursive so no one else could read it, a la Leonardo da Vinci, or written to keep their spirits up during times of fear like Anne Frank, or used to connect when feeling all alone like Kurt Cobain, scores of notable people throughout history have kept journals. Below are five simple steps you can take to make the most out of journaling.

1. Buy an attractive journal and find a place where it will remain private, for your eyes only.

2. Make a “dump run.” As fast as you can, write down everything that’s bothering, troubling, worrying or obsessing you. Free flowing, stream of consciousness writing will let loose feelings you didn’t know you had!

3. Choose one item from the list to work with. Let’s say it’s, “My boss hates me.” First, ask if it is really true. Is there a deeper truth lying underneath this statement? For example, “Really, it’s that my boss hates that my work is late.” Then, keep digging, “Why is my work late?” Initially, you’ll get superficial excuses, like “They always pile work on me, and it’s not fair.” Keep writing and you’ll get to something buried like, “My Mom wanted me to be a bookkeeper so I’d be financially secure, and so did I, for a while. Now I’m bored stiff. I’m turning things in late because I hate my job.” Now, the root truth is laid bare, it just had to be dug out. Often, as you trace an issue down to a truth, you’ll start with what you think and then get closer and closer to what you feel.

4. Next, you can write about causes and actions. How did you get here? Where do you want to go from here?

5. Reflection. Now that you have laid all of your thoughts and feelings out before your eyes, read what’s there and analyze what you see. What are your patterns of thought? How can you change any negative recurring issues? Ideally, if you keep journaling on a somewhat regular basis, you will be able to measure your progress and see how far you’ve come. Plus, something that may be bothering you right now may not seem so bad in the future – maybe in a few weeks you’ll read what you’ve written and have a good laugh!

Being in tune with your heart often gives you the courage to realize your dreams. It’s easy to put off change when you’ve convinced yourself it’s not important, but once you’ve openly gazed at your heart’s desire, the truth is undeniable. It’s possible that you may uncover obstacles to your dreams that seem impossible to resolve.