Can I Forgive Myself?

So you really messed up in love, at work, with money or a friend… and you can’t even describe how lousy you feel. Maybe you even lost the one you love, your job, your good credit, or your closest confidante… because your one mistake created waves of consequences. So, now what do you do? Sure you get it, that we all make mistakes, that we’re human and this is how we learn and grow and change, but you’re finding it hard (very, very hard, in fact) to forgive yourself.

Our psychics are highly experienced in dealing with callers who are suffering from enormous guilt over transgressions large and small. “Forgiving ourselves is one of the most challenging tasks in the human experience,” Jesse ext. 9027 concedes. “When we have wronged someone, or something, it takes a great deal to be humble without being abusive to ourselves.”

So how do you do it? How do you pardon yourself for your wrong-doings compassionately? Before exploring your options for moving on, take a good look at why you did what you did, our psychics suggest.

“Perhaps you didn’t give enough thought and consideration to what the consequences might be,” suggests Miss Krystal ext. 9192. “Most of us end up messing up in life because we made a poor choice. We didn’t give something or someone in our life enough value – or we gave them too much undeservingly. Sometimes when an opportunity arises to ‘mess-up’ we take chances because we’re hoping no one will take notice – when in reality, it’s pretty hard to fool people,” she points out.

One of Miss Krystal’s clients made that very typical mistake in judgment when an extremely attractive man crossed her path on the job. She gave into his flattering advances on a business trip out of curiosity and ego more than anything else. She had no intention of ever leaving her husband and was sure he would never be the wiser if she indulged herself just once.

Unfortunately, an acquaintance saw her and her one-time-lover together and told the caller’s husband who had the situation investigated. As soon as he had evidence, he filed for divorce and moved on. “In the meantime, my caller has had an awful time forgiving herself,” Miss Krystal reports, “and she’s suffering the consequences of the very quick and painful loss of her marriage as well.”

Our psychics believe that no one wakes up wanting to mess up intentionally. They also see that we wouldn’t do half the things we do to try to repair the damage, if we could predict the outcome in advance. “People in relationships, for instance, sometimes do drastic, ridiculous things, attempting to bring their loved one back after a mess up – from writing emails and text messages they later regret, to obsessive phone calling, even after being asked to stop. In order to get past bad judgment and grow, realistic acceptance of the situation must occur first, followed by forgiving yourself and then asking for forgiveness,” psychics counsel.

To help you put order back into your life, Miss Krystal offers an effective five-point plan for self-foregiveness:

1. Be honest and admit that you made a poor choice and did not value whatever you lost. By doing this you give yourself a chance to change and possibly get it right in the future.

2. Keep in mind that tomorrow is another day, and perhaps it will be a better one. Give yourself hope that you’ll get through this.

3. Make sure to ask forgiveness of those you disappointed, even if they have no interest in giving you another chance. This takes courage. You may be rejected, dismissed, diminished… or hopefully forgiven.

4. Make repairs where necessary: Return money, stay late or work weekends to make up for a botched assignment, re-enter a detox program… Whatever it is, do it!

5. Learn from your mistakes. Spiritual growth cannot be learned without “messing up” along our path. Once you’ve done everything you can do, you will be on the road to returning to normal. Talk to friends and family members or counselors for reassurance and guidance.

In moments of guilt, forgive yourself again. And, if it helps, remember that we all make mistakes, from world leaders to celebrities, as well as the people you may have wronged, our psychics remind us. This is all part of the human condition. Living with guilt and shame is not living well, but forgiving ourselves and doing the best we can with what we have… that is what this journey is all about!