Are You More Than a Survivor?

We all have experienced ups and downs in our emotional relationships, whether they are of the family, friend or romantic sort. Some of us move on, picking up the pieces to our broken hearts and attempting to continue on as if nothing devastating ever occurred. Then there are those courageous few who actually take the time and exert the energy to heal from the emotional tragedy. The former individual survives their devastation while the latter is victor over it.

Semantics
A survivor is unaware of the traces of damage left from the experience, while a victor proudly shares the history of their scars. One who survives a situation feels they have overcome the challenge set before them. Verbally, they may “dismiss” the situation – emotionally, they usually don’t acknowledge how much pain, frustration and disappointment the situation has caused them. One who is a victor doesn’t feel that they have overcome the challenge set before them, they know it. They also acknowledge and recognize that the “emotional inconvenience” they suffered offered them leverage to grow.

Surgery
A survivor applies ointment and a band aid to the wound, while a victor performs exploratory surgery. As a spiritual psychic, I have five intentions during each reading: to clarify, enlighten, motivate, inspire and empower. While doing readings, what becomes evident to me is the type of client I have before me: a victor or a survivor. As we delve deeply into their past, riding the emotional carriage into the present and peeking ever so gently into the future, we both become enlightened on the role that this individual is playing. As survivors “move on” from their experiences, they may become successful people, unconsciously toting the weight of the past with them. However, victors, who may also become successful people, consciously acknowledge their pains and strains, wearing the wounds like badges of honor. They return to their previous selves all the wiser and stronger. Whereas, survivors return to their previous selves as if nothing ever happened… battered, worn and in denial of the effects of it all.

Memory
A survivor practices amnesia as a victor loves to remember. Survivors may not elevate spiritually because their unconscious desire is to “make it through” the situation, while the conscious intent of the victor is to overcome the challenge as they heal from the situation. Take note, there are individuals who may become a victor in one situation and a survivor in another. For some, it’s easiest to overcome and heal from familial situations than it is from romantic ones. And in others, it may be vice versa. But regardless of which role you play in whichever area of your life, the most important thing to remember is that you are indeed playing a role. Now, with that in mind, assess your life to see if the role you’ve taken on is the one you truly feel you were meant to play…and transform accordingly.