Love Notes

Love has generated more poems, more books, more music, more joy
and more pain than nearly anything on earth. And yet despite its
eternal existence and prevalence in our lives, it remains elusive and a
mystery to us all sometimes. In our Western culture, we believe that everyone is entitled to love as part of the pursuit of happiness.

So try this list of books to inspire and aid in your quest – whether you are single and looking for love or involved and trying to maintain a healthy relationship.

Spiritual love
If The Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D., is a spiritual guide to finding deeper love. It deals with your fears, following your spirit (rather than your ego) and not losing yourself as you find love. Buddhism is in part about one’s constant evolution as a person, and this book provides many lessons for life and love wherein the growth of your relationship is a reflection of your own development. Breathe deep, and enjoy the journey.

The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz is based on Toltec wisdom. The Toltec of Southern Mexico were known as women and men of knowledge. They taught that mastery of love only comes after mastery of awareness and transformation. Mastery of awareness is finding what we are, and mastery of transformation is changing our lives based on that awareness. Ruiz addresses issues such as dealing with fear and drama in relationships, healing old wounds, and forgiving ourselves and others. Only in truly learning to love ourselves can we fully love one another. Though this may not sound simple, this book will help you on this journey.

The Prophet by Khalil Gibran may not seem like a book about love, but this classic has chapters on Reason and Passion, Love, Marriage, Children and Self-Knowledge. Simple, powerful verses include Gibran’s exhortation, “for reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.” Re-reading The Prophet will give you inspiration that will uplift and ground you simultaneously – the way love should.

Practical love
Mars and Venus Together Forever by John Gray, Ph.D. takes the old planetary approach to the next level. Exploring how men and women think, feel and communicate differently, this book provides practical skills for creating or keeping a lasting relationship. The language of love may be French, but the languages of lasting relationships are often “female” and “male” – translator, please? This book will explain. And it’s worth the effort of reading it to know!

Keeping The Love You Find by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. is a New York Times bestseller that takes you through the process of discovering yourself, your childhood, the way you were nurtured and socialized, and how these factors play out in your relationships. This book provides exercises to get you to learn and grow from your experiences. Go through this on your own – or work through it as a couple – to strengthen and maintain your relationship.

Luv Questions by Cyndi Haynes may look like a little toy book, but Haynes’ 650 queries will get you thinking. You can tackle these questions on your own, with a partner – or in a group of friends, and it will spark real introspection and discussion. Issues such as “do you ever think about what you want out of your entire life and not just your love life?” or “what are your feelings regarding Dutch treat dating?” will bring you closer to truths about yourself and your (future) mate.

Romantic love
If you’re looking for romantic poetry, give The World’s Favorite Love Poems (edited by Suheil Bushrui) to your lover. Read it in bed, on a picnic, or in the bathtub together for an ooh-la-la time. This exquisite collection of poems ranges from William Blake and Elizabeth Browning to Rumi. Use it to be enraptured by love – or to get lost in a poetic forest of words that includes this anonymous Japanese piece: “When the spring arrives. The frost on the river’s moss is melted away. In such a way my heart melts over longing for your love.” How could anyone resist?

Are you looking for 100 ways to improve your relationship? Then pick up Five Good Minutes with the One You Love by Jeffrey Brantley, M.D. and Wendy Millstone, N.C. This book asks, “do you ever feel as though you are not really there with your loved one, even though you are there physically?” The authors address the issue of really connecting with your lover through 100 short chapters that list specific actions you can take. Topics include: “Be Vulnerable,” “Mindful Listener” and “Flames of Romance” – the last of which suggests “acknowledging the magnificent forces of love that conspired to bring you two together.” Now that sounds like the right attitude!

Do you need your partner to be more romantic? This little guidebook will drop enough hints for a lifetime of love. 1001 Ways to be Romantic by Gregory J.P. Godek instructs you on what the various colors of roses mean, as well as giving a variety of examples and ideas for sprucing up your romantic and courtship skills. Flip to any random page to see if you should try more public displays of affection, or check out one of the many song suggestions to woo your sweetie. Be open and experimental – have fun with this one!

Having fun. Isn’t that what love is all about?