State of Your Love

Have you looked into the state of your love union, lately? Whether you were married three years ago, or 30, every partnership needs a quick check-up, now and then. Is it suffering from wear and tear, out-dated goals, conflicting beliefs, long-ignored chemistry, or plain old-fashioned neglect? Take our quiz to find out.

Check for the weak links in your relationship then work on them together – one issue at a time. After all, even dream-team partnerships are reinvented and rejuvenated from time to time. Just a little tweak here or there might turn a so-so marriage into an unfaltering, lusty partnership.

1. You are intimately connected at the hip. You trust each other in bed, with your heart, and with your deepest goals and desires. You are lovers, friends and confidantes.

1. Absolutely! (3)
2. Sort of? (2)
3. We’re good for one out of three. (1)

2. Hey, we’d love to be closer and spend more time alone, but the reality is that between work and family commitments, our gym and golf schedules, and a very healthy social life… we have just enough minutes left to get in a quickie here and there.
1. We wish? (2)
2. That sounds like a dream life to us. We aren’t even on the same sleep schedule. (1)
3. That just isn’t good enough. We make time, lots of time, for number one (us)! (3)

3. When it comes to feelings, we put them all out on the table. We can trust one another to listen to dreams, fantasies, needs, happiness and heartache – and it all comes with a no-judgment clause.
1. Seriously, people really live like that? (1)
2. That’s us. Share and share alike!(3)
3. We only chat about the good stuff/bad stuff. (2)

4. We can fight about money, politics, in-laws, the kids – you name it – but at the end of the day, we have agreed to disagree. We never, ever go to bed angry, and we always stick up for each other.
1. Us, fight? (2)
2. Not us. We can brood and be lousy to each other for days. (1)
3. That’s us. We resolve our conflicts respectfully. (3)

5. You feel all tangled up in your relationship. You’d like to change jobs, go back to school… but your mate insists that you keep status quo – so why rock the boat? After all, when the kids grow up, the two of you will have more time to dream, and travel and try new things – maybe?
1. You could say we fit in that rut. (1)
2. We’re in therapy. At least we’re talking about options. (2)
3. That is an unacceptable relationship! (3)

Your score:

10-15 points: You’ve loved and it’s lasted. You are friends and lovers, too – the

Life-enhancing couple combo, that’s part chemistry and part hard work. You make your relationship a priority and the trust, equality and mutual respect you have for one another nurtures your dreams. You love yourself as much as you love each other. You know the difference between a relationship that needs some updating, because somewhere along the way you stopped talking, or just kept arguing loud enough to never really be heard, and one that stands strong and united even during the tough times.

5-9 points: Your relationship either has potential, or is potentially heading for conflict. It’s time for both of you to fortify your connection by clearing out any time-worn attitudes that are either making your life too predictable or crossing the lines of mutual respect. It’s time to make your union a priority. List all the areas that need work, and go for it. Keep in mind what your union was like when it was young and fresh and try to recapture the buzz, bring back the romance, and treat each other with the utmost of fairness.

1-4 points: Call it a student union! You two need some lessons in love. You fight like cats and dogs, and make everything but the elements of a good partnership – listening, fighting fair, scheduling in some quality sex, making sure each other’s dreams come true – a priority. If one of you is not willing to work on the state of your union, it may be time to hand over marching papers. If you’re both ready and willing, take it one problem at a time. Good luck!