Quiz: Your Sexual Self

Whether you’re a natural born adventurer who’ll try anything once, a sexual student who needs guidance from your partner(s) or a buttoned up type whose vanilla tendencies lean toward the tried, true and (most importantly) accepted, one thing’s for certain… knowing yourself sexually is the first step to satisfaction – whether you’re on the giving or receiving end!

With five simple questions relating to your openness, generosity, self-expression, satisfaction and curiosity when it comes to sex, this little quiz will arm you with the self-knowledge you need to heat up your boudoir. At the very least, it will help fan the flames that are already burning for the long haul!

1. Your partner wants to try something you’d never thought of before in the bedroom. You:

1. Don’t need any more information – you’re totally game for a new adventure!
2. Ask a few questions, and when you’re satisfied with the answers, go for it. Even when it’s hard, change is good… and you won’t know what works until you try it.
3. Stifle your feelings and do what they ask, however begrudgingly (and however disinteresting or appalling you may find it). Otherwise you may lose them, right?
4. Say no without further thought. After all, why in the world would they want to do that?

2. When it comes to keeping your partner happy (in the bedroom and beyond) your attitude is…

1. Keep it spicy! Compromise, change and the occasional surprise are favorites in my bag of tricks.
2. I’m willing and able – but I can only do what I’m asked. That’s why I try to keep the lines of communication open… though of course, sometimes I fail.
3. Whatever, wherever, however. Otherwise, I may lose them, right?
4. It’s not my job to keep anyone happy! We can only do that for ourselves.

3. Sexually speaking, we know it’s important to express our needs if we expect to have them met. So, when it comes to self-expression you are…

1. The master of dirty talk… and not so bad when it comes to feelings either. You know, like “yeah, right there… that feels amazing!”
2. A little awkward sometimes, but open. I try to abide by my own policies and consider direct exchange very important… even if it’s embarrassing on occasion.
3. Already satisfied. My partner’s happiness is my only need. I don’t want to upset the apple cart.
4. I say exactly what I need – and expect to get it!

4. Overall, I’d say my sex life is:

1. Pretty damn fantastic. I love sex, see it as a mutual exchange. I am skilled and I take pride in being turned on and exciting lover.
2. Fulfilling. I’m not into kink or anything hugely “adventurous” but I am comfortable in my own skin and take pride in pleasing my lover.
3. Okay, but maybe not all sex is cracked up to be. I mean, it feels good and all, but I don’t see what all the fuss is about.
4. Satisfying. I am always pleased sexually, though I haven’t really explored a full connection… not often anyway.

5. My appetite and curiosity about sex is…

1. Insatiable! I am a person who wants to learn and grow and include my sexual experiences in that equation.
2. Average to healthy. I like sex and am open to exploration as long as it’s with someone I care for and trust.
3. Unsure. Something about sex still makes me uncomfortable or feels dirty. It’s not for me as much as it is for my mate.
4. Sated. I get what I need when I need it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

SCORING

Mostly A: Sexual Daredevil
Congratulations! You are a sexual adventurer, the envy of everyone, the sort of person for whom ease and comfort regarding all things sexual comes naturally. Whether it’s standard missionary (though that’s probably rare for you) or upside down from a chandelier, you’re up for anything – not to mention that you’re probably good at it! The reason? You understand that in addition to being a personal thrill ride, sex has to satisfy your partner as well, which is one reason why your exes never forget you. One note of advice, however, as you ride the road of frolic and fun, learn to take it slow on occasion so as not to scare away shy types. They may be willing (and excited) by your exuberance and passion, but need a little time to rise to your levels of lovemaking. Everything doesn’t need to be instant – and when it comes to sex, it shouldn’t be!

Mostly B: The Classic
Thanks in part to our puritanical society, you’re not always comfortable with all things sexual, but you know that sex is a vital part of a relationship and you take it seriously… as you do with most things. When with a loving, committed partner, you can even find yourself angling for adventure – once you know it’s safe. And yours is a good place to be. As a person who expresses themselves and asks the same of your mate, you’re a skilled lover who is most often satisfied with their sex life. Just remember that everything doesn’t always have to be perfect. Getting a little messy sometimes (sexually and emotionally) is okay – it’s even good for you. It helps you and your partnership to grow.

Mostly C: The Doormat
Unfortunately, you’ve put having a partner higher on the priority list than the specifics of your partnership – and that’s translating to your sex life. While you may not think so, you were not put on this earth to satisfy someone else – particularly not while forsaking your own self-confidence, self-worth or sexual pleasure. If you hope to have a successful (and sex-filled) relationship, the first thing you need to do is find the courage (and words) to express your needs. If you don’t know what they are, take some time to uncover them – the effort it will take will be well-worth it in the long run. And take note: while you may think staying silent is keeping your partner around, your fear is actually creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Unless you step up and respect yourself (sexually and in general) no one else is going to do the same.

Mostly D: The Dominant
You’ve got satisfying yourself down. Telling your lover what to do, check! What you may, however, be missing is the fact that sex is reciprocal. The good news is, your dominant tendencies can be implored in mutually satisfying sex – particularly if you find a submissive-leaning partner. Just remember that getting your lover off is just as important as your own satisfaction (seriously). Otherwise, no one worthwhile will stick around. Keep in mind that the best kind of sex comes when your connection is stable enough to try anything either of you dream up!