Your Spiritual Compatibility

Your partner makes you laugh. You both enjoy the same sorts of activities. And best of all, you’re amazingly physically attracted to each other. Sounds like a perfect match, right? Well, sort of…

While all of these characteristics (and more!) play a key role in your compatibility as a couple, when it comes to standing the test of time as a pair, what really counts more than any of these assessments is your spiritual compatibility.

Think about it. While most of us have a very good idea – maybe even a list or two – of what we think will make us happy in a relationship, reality often proves different from what we imagine. In other words, the intricacies of what makes a couple work are not just about how you like to spend your Sundays and if your partner meets a certain height or weight requirement. It’s more about your beliefs of right and wrong, your compassion, faith in humanity, and how it relates to each other.

No matter what stage of a relationship you’re in, if you want to gauge your spiritual compatibility, ask yourself these three make-or-break questions.

1. Are you both on a path?
While it’s easy to mistake “shared religious beliefs” for a similar spiritual path, the real comparison is deeper than that. Some people let life happen to them without considering their purpose. Others participate in shaping their own destinies, working on themselves inside and out. Ideally, you and your partner should fall on the same side of this equation.

Though odds are, the specifics of your “paths” are different (after all, spiritually speaking, no two journeys are the same). If one of you acknowledges an internal life, a connectedness to the world and the desire to grow for example, and the other is lacking self-awareness or is content with the status quo despite difficulties, coexistence may prove difficult. For starters, one of you may outgrow the other surprisingly quickly. And even if that doesn’t happen, you may find you have different priorities.

That said, if one of you is on a journey of growth and the other doesn’t see things that way, you’re not necessarily destined for splitsville. We’re each here to fulfill the aspects of ourselves that we deem worthy (or necessary) and for that reason, what’s right for one person, isn’t necessarily right for another. Expecting your mate to believe exactly as you do (or to have the same lessons to learn) is foolish no matter what. What is vital is that you respect each other’s points of view – unconditionally!

2. Do you share a world view?
While aspects of a “world view” can (and often do) relate to politics and religion, the spiritual truth of this question goes beyond your beliefs about foreign and economic policy or where you go to worship. What it really comes down to is a shared moral code. Do you both have faith in humanity and see all human beings as equal? Are you compassionate when it comes to suffering? Do you have the same idea of right and wrong? If you find yourselves at odds on these basic questions – as they relate to big picture politics, religion or the intimate details of how you treat people every day – you’re in for an uphill battle. Provided you’re both firm in your beliefs, the discrepancies will wreak havoc with your perceptions of each other, which can lead to the erosion of your relationship.

Seemingly minor when considered individually, these little annoyances will add up and create discord, particularly when two people are faced with entirely opposing world views. For instance, if you feel firmly that poverty should be eradicated and your partner believes solely in personal responsibility, you may begin to see them as cold while they’ll see you as foolish – perceptions that will affect your experience of them each day and your ability to make joint decisions.

Naturally, differences of opinion are to be expected in any partnership, but if you don’t see eye to eye on the issues you each deem important, you’ll find it difficult to maintain a team spirit, especially in trying times.

3. Are you “at home” together?
Finally, there is something magical about spiritual compatibility that has little to do with practicality and everything to do with feeling safe, special and at home with your partner. If you find yourself continually questioning your relationship, wondering if it’s right and if your mate sees you the same way you see them, odds are, something is off. The universe is trying to tell you something!

Though being wrong for each other may seem impossible when you feel that “inexplicable connection” to someone, it’s vital to remember that spiritually aligned relationships are virtually drama free. That doesn’t mean they’re lacking for passion, it’s that they’re based in deep, acknowledged, experienced love – not desire, aspiration or the need to fill a void.

Likewise, they don’t usually require a major fight – they just align. If you’re faced with a situation that you desperately want but it doesn’t seem to be working, remember that it is possible to be in synch with each others’ journeys and world views and still be wrong for each other on a deeper level. Part of being a spiritual person is being attuned with your instincts, and when something is right, you will instinctively feel peaceful and sound.