Samhud writes:
I am a 27 year old gay male in a 5 year relationship with a 60 year old man. It has largely been a sexless marriage with him cheating on me within 2 or 3 months. Then after 3 years, I realized he was an alcoholic.
I am so confused about it. I wish the Universe would show me what to do. I once tried asking a psychic here but I never got a clear answer. I feel like I live in hell sometimes.
Dear Samhud,
My friend, I sense so heavily the gravity, the sheer and utter tragedy of your situation. It would certainly be far easier if you weren’t truly taken with this gentleman, if somehow, some way, your love for him was less valid. Unfortunately, this does not seem to be the case, and sadly such a maddening connection is one which will cause all sorts of internal problems…
You’ll find yourself saying, doing, acting in ways you never would have dreamed of acting. Feelings such as you have are natural and vital emotions, especially as you are a vital and robust sort of man. In fact, I feel perhaps there is something of the primal erotic in you which first attracted your lover… And yet, it is this very thing that has become a barrier of sorts…A place he fears as one fears heat and flame.
It is not always the case, but in many situations the very thing which brings two people together initially, that searing quality of desire so unique in chemistry and form, is the very thing which might undermine a long term relationship scenario. We must learn, and learn wisely, that nature dictates many sorts of relationships, and none of them are more important than another.
Your partner had and still has a certain lust for you… And yet, for reasons of your own, you’ve wanted to make a commitment where Nature has perhaps dictated such was not possible. There are various reasons, and his lack of sustained and focused passion at this time is but one of many. I feel, on my levels, that this learning experience has been hard for you, but very necessary. I think that in retrospect you will find that the slaughtering of your own ideals will be to your benefit in relationships to come. My advice? A relationship without sex can be helped… But a relationship with no hope of sex when that is a vital aspect of communication for one of the partners simply must be abandoned. Free yourself from the shackles, my friend, for the situation has run its course. It will be difficult to find a new path, but all the tears will cleanse your soul and help you move on, brother. Let evolution have Her way.
Blessings,
Psychic Liam ext. 9290
12 thoughts on “Sex Q & A with Psychic Liam”
As for the article above Samud you really need to explore all options. I have a friend who is also gay and my bf’s father. He was really gung ho about his relationship at first but he is also an alcoholic. He is very confused right now about me I do believe. He and I talk everyday we are so compatible in so many ways but one it is very hard to not say the wrong things to him. He has recently went out and got drunk and told me he loved me just out of the blue. He has done this before twice. Then the next week or so after he does not talk in a normal way towards me. I feel he is changing in a good way but he is so confused. I am not one to care what a person does and I have told him this that if he and I did happen to become a couple that his urges towards men is ok and just to go and have fun. I am very open person and understand the need for difference in mine and others lives. He has no idea how to handle this but he is slowly learning.
I am also trying to find work and find myself confused about what I should do.
The only way I can make any meaningful break from my bf is if i find work and am able to support myself on my own.
I am praying more to the Universe to guide me in this area as it is the most important factor in helping me make the move to the next level in my life.
Thank you Psychic Liam and all other Psychics and people who posted.
I ignored your advice for long but something in me has made me realize that I cannot any longer.
at 27 I have decided to walk out slowly. I am financially dependent on him and am slowly trying to build my independence. Though I have been thinking of doing this for a long time, I think now I feel like I am walk away both emotionally and not just financially.
It is true that this is a learning curve. I learnt more about my past, my parents’ possible secret addictions and their definate emotional abuse of me which lead me to this Man.
I am finally willing to grow. It is tough. I pray that Wisdom guides me. Thank you all, especially of course Psychic Liam for generously answering my question. I am gratefu.
I have read Samhads story and feel very much for the young man, as wether his partner is alcoholic or not alcoholic, he cheated on him and that is the bottom line, i advise you Samhad,you deserve better then that once cheated on they will do it again,it is hurtful action and has nothing to do with him being a drinker. Choose a partner that does not drink someone with moral standards. Best wishes !!
Greetings, Amelia It’s so wonderful to hear from you, and I thank you for your kind words. Your observation here is quite thought provoking, and it reminds me a of great quote from the film Fight Club:
“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be
millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very p—- off.”
Of course the entire quote is longer, and much cooler But, as an ardent lover of Fairy Tales myself, I doubt we
actually derive much of our sugary idealism from that particular realm of
literature … since the authentic tales, the ones I loved much as a youth, ye olde Brothers Grimm for example, were anything but fluff and never very sweet.
More often they mirrored themes of a more primitive and visceral sort; literary vapors of ominious proportion venting from the haunted forests of the collective unconcious. Terror, taboo, fetish and dark sexuality, it’s all in there … Poetry beyond modern reason, and a very interesting reflection of the cultural soil from which they were sprung, untainted by the seeds of industrial progress. I find, our own delusions today lie less in the Fairy Tales, and more in the modern system of thought we are solidifying everyday en mass. We’re moving far, far away from what we once were, and remain far far away from what we are supposed to understand. Thank you so much, Amelia. Such food for thought you provide! Always a welcome thing. Be well. BTW … Where are you from?
WOW! I just read your article, Liam. It was great. I have often wondered where these ‘ideals’ come from. Are we told them as children in the Fairy Tales we are read? Do we see too much of the ‘perfect life’ on TV, or, do we just aspire to always want something better? They way that you explained how he can move on and “free himself from the shackles of his pain” was brilliantly said and said in a way that he can understand the purpose and process of such an action. Kudos to you!
Greetings, my friend! So grand to hear from you again. Miss Krystal, you state that you walked away at 27. Do you believe that Saturn Return played a factor in your situation? You were perhaps either in Saturn Return at the time, or close to it, anyway. Just curious. Saturn interests me a great deal in its majesty and its power to tear apart our illusions, leaving us naked to the fires of transformation. I like what you said about the power of change and misery, pain, etc. We are often not able to choose the power of change, are we? It comes as it does. Be well.
A very interesting observation, Anthony, and one that certainly deserves note. However, might I recommend a degree of caution when approaching such matters as addiction as a cause of all problems or even a root of them. It is certainly true that addiction can and does factor into many relationship troubles and it does not help in an already unstable situation. However, I feel it must be stressed that simply treating an addiction is usually not a substantial method for curing the problems at the foundation of any relationship. In fact, it is well documented that many relationships do not survive the recovery process when true sobriety is attained. Often, very sadly, a spouse or partner assumes that with intervention their marriage or partnership will be saved when there are usually other very serious issues that are brought to light when the addiction is no longer there to act as a convenient scapegoat and denial isn’t something only the addicts cling to. When the addict comes to sobriety, many times, the partner is unable to cope with the personality alterations, or the truth of their own role in the addiction, etc. A very interesting topic, indeed. But most of the time, problems stem from something much deeper in the energy of the relationship which is amiss, and have very little to do with the external manifestations.
Hail and well met, priestess of the old ways! Thank you, Gina Rose, for your excellent observations and commentary. I’ve had more than one client inform me that you are an agent and advocate when it comes to the doctrine of novelty and change. Which I think is very cool. Change is such a difficult thing for most of us for very good reason and that paradox is ingrained in the essence of our entire existence. The very nature of our replication based genetics resists change at all costs lest it falter in instability … And yet… Very ironically, without mutation on a genetic level, there is no evolution (Dawkins – ‘The Selfish Gene’)… Without system breaking, none of us would be here at all.
On a more holistic level, we humans cling to continuity as a safeguard against so many perceived threats…and still, without altering the status quo, growth and advancement are never possible. Be well, Gina Rose. Are you getting ready for Yule?
I walked away at 27.
Of course everyone is different. My point here is that when we become miserable, and we are still very young, and 27 is still a kid in my book (I am 40), we have to realize that at least we are finding out something about ourself…..Self discovery can come in many different ways, through happiness, misery and even melancholy. At least he can identify what he is feeling. That is a big step.
Excellent points, Liam. Embrace the changes.
Very interesting situation. Thanks. I really enjoyed it.
Miss Krystal
Aside from the age difference, which may or may not be an issue, Samhud says his partner is an alcoholic. If his partner is in treatment and or sober, this would make a huge difference in thier relationship. If his partner is not getting sober or treatment…that’s the biggest obstacle I think they face.
Hail and Well Met,Liam,
Sometimes , as you stated, learning experiences are hard, gut-wrenching, mind-blowing,…..but necessary.
I also agree with you when you stated that….sometmes these lessons serve to tear down old ideals,( that have blocked us )….only to set us free, to build upon new ideals…..healthier ideals.
” Walking thru fire ” is something that all of us do , at one time or another in our life, but it is necassary…in that it serves to temper and build our character, ( like tempering steel thru fire), and teaches us wisdom.
Life goes on and is everchanging….yes, let the Universe have Her way.
Excellent article, Liam !!!!
Blessed Be )O(…….Gina Rose ext.9500