True Blue Relationships

How do you know if your relationship is the real deal? Is the person in your life the one whom you can always depend on or are they just someone who is there for right now? The thing about a relationship with substance is that it flows like the ebb and tide of the ocean. It’s never forced and it feels right in the depth of your soul – all of the time (not just some of the time).

Sure, you won’t agree with everything the other person says or does – and they may make you mad as ever, but deep down in your soul, you know these situations represent a mere moment in time, not forever. If you’re asking yourself questions about your relationship’s validity or depth, then you probably already have the answers to your questions – just be truly honest with yourself – and make honorable decisions from there. You never doubt a true friend, so why would you doubt a true love relationship?

What is the magic formula for having a true blue relationship? There are lots of formulas that work, yet all of them must have a concoction of friendship, respect and passion – with a little longevity thrown in – to be deep and meaningful. People who are in true blue relationships are there for each other when they fail, when the world turns black and to remind them of the best parts of themselves – at all times.

Where to begin
A romance without friendship is just a series of booty calls. Sad to say, but true. Otherwise, what are you doing with this other person? You have to really like the one you’re with before you can love them. And the feeling must be mutual. Love at first sight is rare and often fizzles out as passion cools. Yet if you build a strong friendship as the foundation for your relationship, you may be on your way to one that will last.

One woman recalls the early days of a relationship that eventually became her 14-year (and counting) marriage. “We were best friends and we’d spend hours on the phone. I really fell in love with his soul, because it was like he was opening his mind and his heart to me during those long conversations. Then our relationship just organically became romantic and it wasn’t long before I realized he was the one. I knew I could trust him completely and that we really understood each other. It was the most natural thing for us to fall in love.”

To honor…
Respect must play an integral part of your romantic alliance. It reflects the very fiber of your union and who each of you are individually. Cheating, putting you down and not wanting to negotiate for your emotional needs is not showing respect for you or the relationship. Loyalty is the flipside of respect. Although we give the “knight in shining armor” fantasy short shrift (because, let’s face it, there’s really no such thing), there is some truth to the fact that a knight would behave honorably toward his maiden, respecting her as the most vital being in his life. This is why, in an honorable relationship, you never say something that can’t be unsaid, you consider each other’s feelings and you defend and protect each other in the face of adversity.

Some like it hot
The driving force behind any true love relationship is passion. Sure, it includes a lover’s touch, but more than that, it will require your partner to want to be with you and make you insanely happy. Passion is not just about the sexual experience, it can also be about sharing in something that you’re passionate about.

For instance, one woman found new inspiration when her boyfriend introduced her to sailing. “I didn’t know the first thing about boats, but he was an avid sailor. He took me out for a day trip off the coast of North Carolina and it was the most amazing discovery for me – the ocean was gorgeous, the wind was in our hair, he taught me how to work the sails to change direction and it was like I’d entered a whole new world. I just fell in love. Now we go every weekend when the weather is good and it brings us together in a very visceral way. There’s just this deep understanding that this passion we share is special.”

If your relationship holds all these truths to be self-evident, then you may indeed have have the make-up of a true blue relationship.