Bad communication is expensive–it can cost you your relationship.
Talking to your partner is important. The absolute worst thing you can do, even when things are going well, is to stop talking.
But remember that good communication isn’t just about talking until you’re blue in the face. It’s also about knowing when to shut up and listen, or when quiet moments and non-verbal communication can be more important than words.
Talk Talk
The most obvious form of communication is the simple act of speaking. Those of us who haven’t dedicated our lives to the fine art of pantomime find ourselves talking to everyone, even people we don’t really want to deal with.
Staying up-to-date with your love is easy, but not everyone takes the time to do it. Hopefully, you love chatting with your mate and even if you both have busy schedules you check in with them once a day or at least a few times a week. A quick chat in the morning before you both go to work or even a five-minute phone conversation on your lunch break or before you go to sleep can make all the difference in your relationship.
Even in those brief conversations, try to stay honest. Speak up if there’s something bothering you, or if you just have something you want to say. There’s no point in keeping things from your boy/girlfriend.
Listen…Would You Like to Know a Secret?
Listening is probably the best-kept relationship secret. Everyone wants to be listened to, but so few people really stop to listen to what others are saying to them, even their own partners!
It’s easier to pay attention when there are no distractions. Talking to your basketball-crazed boyfriend during a big playoff game probably won’t lead to good results. And trying to have a meaningful conversation in a noisy restaurant won’t do, either.
Timing is important, too. Don’t share important details, bring up big issues or broach a sensitive subject when neither of you can give the conversation your full attention.
The best way to really connect is to talk to your better half in a quiet room with no one else around, when you have a nice chunk of time to spend with your partner. Then you can both speak and listen well.
It’s Oh So Quiet
We don’t often think of it this way, but you can also communicate with your lover without either of you saying a word.
In fact, sometimes it’s what you don’t say that matters. If your boyfriend is embarrassingly wrong when he shouts out the answer to a trivia question, you don’t really need to tell him he’s wrong, or worse yet, laugh at his mistake. And not everyone wants to hear “good try” when they strike out in a baseball game. By not saying something, you can sometimes spare your lover’s feelings…and in doing so, communicate your love to them at the same time.
Everyone knows that actions can speak louder than words. When something painful happens–illness, a death in the family, the loss of a job–things like hugs, kisses on the cheek and even hand-holding can bring more comfort and say more to your mate than words can express.
Not that you have to even touch your sweetheart to say you love them. If they hate doing the dishes or washing their car, do it for them. The smallest gesture can say so much to the one you love.
There are many ways to communicate with your partner. They may cost you a bit in terms of time and effort, but you’ll pay a much higher price if you fail to communicate.
| Having communication problems with your love? Call now. |
|
