Sex Q&A: An Affair of the Heart

Kim in Canada writes:

I am in love with a married man, and I believe he is with me, too. We’re not having a physical affair, but it is an affair of the heart. My whole life is on hold because I can’t imagine anyone else for me, so I just wait, and don’t date anyone. I think he is my only soulmate, and I am so stuck. I’ve waited over three years now. Do you see any future with him? If I need to move on, how do I?

Dear Kim,

There are many kinds of passion in the realm of human relationships and yours certainly seems a simmering, steamy sort. Still, I fear that if things are left as they are, you might be stuck waiting for a longer time to come, as it appears that it would take a primal force of nature to get him to make a move and leave his wife. Your friend is enamored of you on many levels, but he is a man whose own sense of passionate response has been stifled by years of tepid sexuality, domestic repetition, and emotional squalor.

Stop playing the good girl. You are playing the game by his rules and in essence, doing nothing. Without a doubt, you must move this “affair of the heart” into the bedroom as soon as possible. Drop the cozy idealism and become the huntress. Lure him to your abode, seduce him with words, wine, food, and sex … and play for keeps.

This is a dangerous game, and you have much at stake. So take your gloves off. Get down to business. In time — and not much time — he will embrace his inner warrior and recover the sensual side of himself. Go forth. Your prey awaits.

Be well,

Liam

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