DreamCast: Dreams About Your Ex

Just when you think he’s gone for good, your ex-lover comes back to haunt your dreams. But it’s not really your former flame that’s “haunting” you, but rather, something about your relationship that’s still stuck in your psyche. Most likely it’s an unresolved issue that will likely reappear in a new relationship if you don’t deal with it now. Working with the symbolism in your dreams will help free you of emotional minefields so you can attract a healthy relationship. Let’s take a look at two dreams of ex-flames to discover what revelations they hold for each dreamer.

Helen in Long Beach, California is fleeing from her ex, and other things in this dream:

I am currently going through a divorce from a sex addict and alcoholic. I filed for divorce in June 2009, but we are still in the court system trying to work out child custody. Here is my dream:

I am in a twin bed, and my soon to be ex-husband is supposed to be in the other twin bed. But instead, he crawls into the room through the window as I am pretending to be asleep. He checks on me and knows I’m not sleeping. Inside, I know he’s cheating on me again. But instead of confronting him, I just want to leave and run as fast as I can from him. I tell him I don’t want to hear any more lies, and he just keeps telling them to me, like I would believe them.

Next, I run into my boss. She’s his latest victim/tryst, but she doesn’t know that I know. She wants to talk to me, but I don’t want to talk to her because I know the truth. So I try to run from her, too, but she keeps chasing after me. I run into a hotel elevator with other people, but I know I can’t outrun her, so instead, I try to outwit her by stopping on a floor where I can hide from her. I stop at the parking level, where I see my daughter’s favorite blankie, and pick it up. Then I run and jump over a car hood to hide between two cars. My boss stops so close to me that I’m scared she’ll get me. And even though I don’t see my ex running after me, I feel he is right there, too. I wake up still feeling like I am scared and running, my heart pounding, fearful that they will catch me. What does this mean?

I’m out of breath just reading this dream! Needless to say, Helen is going through a difficult time with her divorce. In her dreams and perhaps in her waking life too, she’s relentlessly running from something — let’s see if we can discover what that is.

Front and center is her husband. In Helen’s dream, he’s not where he’s supposed to be (home in bed), but sneaking in through the window. His stealthy actions symbolize his subterfuge in waking life. The twin beds point to the lack of emotional/sexual affinity between them. Pretending to be asleep symbolizes her reluctance to become aware of what’s happening in her relationship. She’d rather just run away from it, hoping to escape the emotional pain, most likely. Even so, she courageously tells him to stop lying to her. Speaking up suggests she has more inner strength than she gives herself credit for.

As for her boss, I believe she symbolizes the capable, independent part of Helen. The fact that Helen describes her boss as her husband’s “latest victim/tryst” is very telling. It’s actually Helen’s self-esteem that’s taken a hit. Her sense of security (the blankie) has been shattered as well. Most likely, her intention to escape indicates she doesn’t feel up to the task of taking back her personal power. Still, Helen’s inner “boss” is determined to find her, which means that if Helen can access the capable part of herself once again, she’ll have an abundance of inner strength to draw upon when she needs it.