Most of us do not thrive solely off of drama, instability, passion and recklessness. Yet there are rare cases of people who do just that! Some of them have gone down in history as great personalities, artists or heroes while others have simply led pretty devastating lives.
Keeping that in mind, striving to have a certain amount of excitement and passion in our lives, while also creating peace and stability, is probably the best plan. This is commonly referred to as “balance.” And, though most of us seek it, it can be a challenge to achieve!
Worry, worry, worry
We worry about money, getting enough exercise, eating right, and being successful – not to mention being loved. We worry about our retirement plans, our health and the money we’re spending or wasting. We worry about our children – whether we’re giving them the right kind of guidance, if we’re going to be able to provide for their needs. Even when our lives are productive and stable, there are still things to worry about – hunger, war and the abuses of power we see all around us. We even worry about the past. And if we’re not worrying about ourselves, there’s always someone else to worry about – friends in trouble, and perfect strangers all around the world whose lives may not be as “balanced” as ours. Let’s face it, it’s part of the human experience to worry. But it’s also an unacknowledged pandemic of the information age. So what do we do?
Practice mindfulness
Maintaining equilibrium – in a time when more is expected of the individual than ever before, when we are made more aware each day of the instability of the world and when we are constantly barraged with information – requires focus and great skill. Practicing mindfulness is the key to constructively dealing with the modern climate.
What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of consciously focusing on the present moment. When you practice mindfulness, you cease to worry about things that are beyond your control, and you begin to focus on the here and now. Ceasing to worry does not mean you cease to care. In fact, worrying can often get in the way of being able to care deeply and truly. When we worry, we are often in an imbalanced state of mind, unable to respond effectively to the situation. Practicing mindfulness deepens a connection to your self and the universe, fosters compassion, and allows you to see problems more clearly – and to find constructive ways to deal with worrisome situations.
How to do it:
We have become so used to a worried state of mind that it has become a mental background for us – just wallpaper, really. But look at it for a moment. Take the time to ask yourself what’s really worrying you – not what was worrying you yesterday or last week, but right now. You might be surprised to find that it’s something quite small, like the need to return a friend’s phone call. Try these steps.
1. Write down what’s worrying you.
Writing is a mechanical act that helps to bring us into the present moment. Concentrate on writing clearly and legibly. Simply writing down your worries is the first step toward liberating yourself from them. They have now been transferred… from your mind to the page. Remember that worrying actually robs us of the energy needed to accomplish the tasks in front of us. Once you have identified the object of your worry, set priorities – and take care of those little chores. You will surely feel yourself freed of an unnecessary burden!
2. Turn off the outside.
Sometimes it’s better to turn off outside chatter – TV, radio, the Internet and maybe even certain friends and family members. The constant noise, chatter and information often adds to our worry. Turning off does not mean tuning out; it’s simply a way to minimize interference and allow your mind to come to rest in the present moment. For instance, if you’re feeling a little frazzled and fatigued on the way home from work, radio reports about catastrophes throughout the world certainly won’t help you. Try turning the radio off and driving in silence. Or listen to your favorite music. When you get home, refrain from turning on the TV or immediately checking your email. Sit down with a refreshing beverage and enjoy this restful time after a day of the work you’ve done so diligently.
3. Meditation and contemplation.
Meditation and contemplation are key to resolving worry. Many people perceive meditation as “not thinking.” This is a misperception. It is much easier to meditate if one thinks of it as following thoughts. When one who may not be as practiced in meditation first begins, his or her mind will likely be a swirl of thoughts layered with voices, ideas and, of course, worries. This is okay. Allow yourself to follow this activity of the mind, while focusing on even, steady breathing. There will likely be an ebb and flow, but eventually your mind will tire of its own chatter, slow, clear, possibly pick up again, slow and clear. The goal is for it to come to rest. Then you can enjoy that sweet place of worry-free quiet, even if for a short time. That place is always there for you to return to when you need it.
Some people find it difficult to sit still in meditation. If that’s the case, try a walking meditation. Stroll in a quiet neighborhood, through a park or on a beach. You can even pace slowly around your house or apartment. Mindful meditation can be practiced in any relatively quiet and comfortable situation, moving or still. Inevitably, you will want to contemplate all the things you experienced while you were meditating.
Try these three simple steps every day, and eventually you will be leading an (almost!) worry-free life. Now go out and enjoy every moment of it!
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