5 Signs He’s Not Ready

“Tying the knot” is usually a high priority for women of a certain age, but this is rarely true for men. In the timelines of our lives, both sexes intend to settle down and get married, but the real challenge lies in figuring out just where a guy stands in this chronology. Let’s take a look at a few good indicators that help differentiate between permanent procrastination and honest intention.

1. His Career and Finances are Uncertain
Despite our modernized view of gender roles, most men still like to believe that they can provide for their mate. If a guy feels uncertain about his career or doubtful about his financial prospects, he may put off taking the plunge until he feels more stable. This is actually a very mature reason for a man to delay matrimony, inasmuch as financial stability is crucial to a happy and successful marriage. However, be wary of any man who uses career and financial concerns as an endless delaying tactic, despite signs that his prospects are improving. In such cases, you need to admit that he just doesn’t want to commit.

2. He Hasn’t Brought You Home to Mom
Most men are close to their mother, and frequently to their family as a whole, which makes any invitation to a family gathering a good indicator of his commitment to you and your relationship. If men see you as a future member of their family, they will want to include you in their clan’s celebrations, giving family members an opportunity to get to know and love you as they do. If you’ve been dating a guy for quite a while and he’s never mentioned his mom or family, signs for a marital union are pretty dismal.

3. He Has a Separate Life That Doesn’t Include You
Being part of a couple means feeling that you’re a part of a team, sharing your time, interests, friends and even money, while retaining your own individual identities. In a marriage, this partnership only strengthens and deepens as you choose to share the rest of your lives with that special someone. If he seems to keep a big part of his life separate from you–having many friends whom you never meet, often making plans without inviting you–it’s a sure sign that he’s not really ready to be a part of a couple.

4. He Says It’s Not the Right Time
Many women have fallen for this line in their stagnant relationships with the men they love. In your desire to be with him, you can overlook that red flag called procrastination. You allow him to make excuses about why waiting a little longer will somehow be better for your relationship. The reality is that if your guy is making excuses about why he doesn’t want to make that final commitment, you need to face the cold fact that he probably doesn’t want to marry you. Because even though men may take longer before finding a mate and settling down, when they feel they have found the right person, they take that final step eagerly.

5. You’re Engaged, but He Won’t Set a Date
Women tend to think that if a man has actually proposed to them, that the relationship is in the bag, so to speak. You reason that he wouldn’t put a ring on your finger unless he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Some men propose to a woman without setting a date, in hopes that this dramatic gesture will hold her at bay for an extended period of time. If a man is unsure if he wants to be with you, or sure that he ultimately does not, an indefinite wedding date is one way to procrastinate. Women can be pushy about marriage, and a guy wants to date a woman but never intends to marry her, this “show of faith” will allow him to stall in neutral for a while longer. Eventually, you may have to realize that it’s never going to happen, and then make yourself available for the right man to come along. You know, the guy who just can’t wait to marry you.