Why You’re Always a Bridesmaid & Never a Bride

Are You Experiencing Ring Envy?

It’s unlikely that the ad agency for Listerine mouthwash had a clue that their 1960s campaign would resonate around the world for decades, but that’s precisely what happened when they portrayed a young woman fretting over why she wasn’t married. The commercial’s tagline was, “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” and it may have been written before you were born. Still, you know the line, and you might know the feeling.

Time after time, you’re asked to stand up for someone’s wedding. You’re maid-of-honor in rose satin for your sister. Your cousin drapes you in lime green taffeta, and shoves you down the aisle before her as she heads off to hook up with the love of her life. Your girlfriend, a co-worker and a neighbor ask you to put on less-than flattering gowns you’ll never wear again and march down the aisle wearing happy, but insecure smiles.

When will your prince come? Why are you the hit of every party, the smartest woman on campus, the go-to gal for social events, and yet as single as an odd sock in the dryer? Should you be stressed or worried about all this? Probably not.

Finding a mate and crafting a healthy, lasting relationship is a complicated and important process. Many people take it lightly and sometimes, sadly, the race to the altar is simply a foreshadowing of failure to come. Keep your cool, and choose wisely. Experts say that lasting relationships are more likely if both people really know themselves and are tuned in to their personal needs and wants.

With the divorce rate at well over 50%, your chance of becoming a divorcee is huge, no matter when you marry, but quick weddings have less chance of success.

The best advice may be to enjoy those bridesmaidenly trips to the altar and use the time for personal research. Observe the couples. How did their relationship grow? How does it fair after the wedding? How do they end up? They’re all important questions and something for you to consider from a bridesmaid’s-eye view. Being single is not an odd state, nor an unnatural one. Enjoy the me-time, experience what the world has to offer, and make yourself into the strongest, happiest, most productive person you can be. When your soulmate happens along, you’ll be ready—for the long term.