It’s that “Oh My God!” feeling. You see him and know, instantly, that he’s the one. When you try to talk with him the words come out all wrong, but you get lost in his smile. There are tingles all over and you know you’re falling in love.
Or maybe it starts with you just wanting her to be your pal. You have so much in common. You go to parties and movies together or with friends. You can talk about anything. And then something happens. Maybe the light hits her in a certain way. Maybe it’s her scent. You didn’t plan it, but you realize that you don’t want her to be a pal. You’re falling in love.
It’s all wonderful for a while. And then it’s not. You end up with a broken heart. “Never again!” you vow. Except it does happen, again and again.
Love is a good thing. Love is great for our bodies, minds, and spirits. But something is wrong with the way you’ve been approaching love. That’s why you fall in love, repeatedly, only to get hurt.
It’s not your fault! We’re not trained in love. As a result, we fall into patterns of falling in and out of love. Something in those patterns makes us feel good. In order to find real love we need to discover what they are and break out of them. There are many patterns, each with their own reasons, but two really stand out.
The first reason is NRE: New Relationship Energy. When you’re falling in love there is an incredible feeling, a rush of endorphins and other hormones that make you feel incredible. But after a short time, the newness wears off and seeing him or her doesn’t cause that same flow of hormones and energy.
But here’s something you may not know: you can get that blast of NRE any time you want! Here’s how:
1) Find a comfortable position, sitting or laying down. Take a few slow, deep breaths and just let all tension flow from your body as you deeply relax.
2) Next, imagine your ultimate, perfect, idealized boyfriend or girlfriend walking through the door. See what you imagine you would see. Feel what you would feel. Hear what you would hear.
3) Now make those sensations even more intense. In your mind make the colors brighter, the sounds crisper, the feelings more sensationally fantastic!
4) Allow yourself to feel the energy and hormones flow. You can experience this any time you have a free moment. When you’re ready to end the experience take a few relaxing, deep breaths, and let the afterglow last or fade, your choice.
The second reason is because you’re looking for…something. If you think about this on a conscious level you may think it is the love of a particular person. You may think what you’re looking for is to love and be loved. But for most people it’s usually far more than that. To discover what it is, do this:
1) Get into a comfortable position and take a few deep, relaxing breaths.
2) Ask yourself, “If I have the love of someone I can love, what will I have?” Go with your first feelings. It may be something like love, completeness, peace, or wholeness. There are no wrong answers.
3) Using your own word or words based on what you think you will have from the question above, ask yourself, “When I have [that thing] fully and completely, what will I have?” When you get an answer, repeat this process (it will become more difficult to come up with answers) until you keep repeating whatever it is you really want. That is what you actually want, but you’ve replaced it with having someone to love and who will love you.
4) Once you know what you really want, you’ll see that a partner won’t give it to you. Rather, you can start plannng to truly achieve that inner goal.
Once you are able to manifest the feelings of NRE and know your core desire in life, you won’t be looking for either in another person. That will leave you free to find the loving partner (or partners!) you deserve.
Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy, and has become a certified hypnotherapist and Master NLP practitioner. His book, Modern Magick, is the most popular step-by-step course in real magick ever published.
13 thoughts on “Not Again! Stop Falling in Love Just to Fall in Love”
FALLING IN-LOVE why can’t those who really for each other seems to be not partners most of the time. Why those who like to be Love are not been Love by the Guy whom would like to give the perfect Love he had. Love is so full of un explainable things ….
But whats da way to get releif from lots of tears bcoz of being hurted, loneliness from the person from whome i want attention and love?
I feel in love with 2yrs before i met him. I would see him on occasions. But he never noticed me. My sister signed me up for an online dating service and because i just didnt feel all into it. Speacialy just getting out of a very bad relationship i didnt want to pick any body so i told her to do it. To my surprise we met at the park on a blind date and it was him. But i could get up the nerve to tell him i loved him. He said he wanted marriage right away. And i didnt know how to respond. E months later he married someone else he met offline that lived in cali and said it was love at first sight the same day they met.divorced, She had been engaged previously to someone else she met oonline and never met. Its been a year and my heart is still broken. Ive never been engaged never been married. Never been in love…. Because i didnt tell him i loved him on the first day i lost my dream…
i have felt in love before, but how do you even now. it was 4 grade silly write. looking back on it and the other men i dated that feeling only happen once, and with him. i never even goto a chance to say good bye
I feel so painful in love affair, I dont really know why I became like this, People always say that “LOVE is BLIND”, I dont think so, because I always think I should not crazy and blind with love, whatever he treated me, I will return the same way. BUT another part always miss, think and concern of him and was wondering where he is and what he is doing??? and always want to fullfill him and never afrait to scrific everything for him……
In my mind feel so suffer and hate him, I always want to leave him, I used to tried many times, but finaly I could not sucessful, because when without him I feel suffer even more, so till now I just follow my feeling, because I feel hard to stand if he is not around….
Please show me a sign what shall I do to erase all this painful and how to forget him????
Loved the article. Sounds great but the personal touch creates the memories you take with you for life that you can replay any time.
you will never be abandon by me..you are afraid to fall in love..because you never had it..sometimes you have to take a chance and let go..and you might like it…just because you were being hurt many times it doesnt mean it is going to happen again….if LOVE comes your way take it ..dont lose it…you will be sorry later on in life….TAKE A CHANCE AT IT..with me if you want practice on me..lol….
when i fall in love it is forever .not for a day or a year…i been in love twice in whole life…one more so than other….if i stay with a person ..you know im in love ..and not fooling around..i will never hurt him..because when he is hurting i am hurting….i tried to him but he is building a wall against us…I WILL NEVER LEAVE HIM…but he doesnt trust me when i say that…i dont want to have my freedom .but he does ..i might of said thing to him..but i didnt mean it..i think he was so senstive ,i was never hurt..but now i know what it is like….i love to be face to face but how can i when he cant look me in the face…i still on a merry -go-round…..
Thank-you for your insight. I am one of those who needs to feel that energy and now I understand why. Abandonment issues keep popping up.. I am trying to work out abandonment. To find a true friend. I have not abandoned myself in my quest and I am trying to become my own best friend.
Although I have made some amazing connections and grown abundantly with these experiences I am now ready for that one pure love. (with myself). Thank-You again for the next step direction.
when the pupil is ready the teacher appears………
Hello there. What a great article… I can’t wait to try and let you know. And it makes so much sense… As I had never had a true love, and my father was never there for me or my mother, I have become addictid to love and excitement….Thanks again…
Ahh the adrenalyn rush!
I’ll take travel and adventure.
Less pain!
Hugs.
Katrina xo
I “Love” this article!! And for me, it comes at a very opportune moment in my life: between relationships! Thank you. Now I can find and look for want I REALLY want, and leave the door open for the man who is willing and able to SHARE in that experience, rather than being a “requirement” for that experience.
Loved ur article but I feel it’s not enough not quiet fullfiling as actually seeing and hearing and touching that person, it’s important to enteract with the object of ur desire face to face it’s much more rewarding and fulfilling that’s what I think .