Getting over breakups can be hard enough… but in this day and age, Facebook and other social media allow for infinite cyber-stalking, or endlessly checking your ex’s profile, which makes the process of letting go that much harder. Check out the below article on the deep psychological effects of break-ups, and how the process of letting go has become extremely more difficult in the age of social media.
The Wall Street Journal reports:
I woke up one day last week to an anguished email from a friend whose girlfriend had just broken up with him. He had an urgent question: How could he take his mind off her so that he wouldn’t call or text her?
I was momentarily stumped. What advice did I have for coping with one of life’s worst experiences—losing a romantic partner? What would help him channel his energy into positive, productive activities?
It’s no secret that when we lose a lover, we tend to lose our willpower. Suddenly, despite our best intentions, we fall prey to obsessive thoughts (“What did I do wrong?”), feelings (“I’ll be alone forever”) and actions (calling, emailing, texting).
I reflected on the advice I got after a major breakup almost two years ago. “Literature, my dear, literature… ” began one email from a good friend. My mother reminded me to listen to music because “it soothes the soul.” Others suggested exercise, volunteer work, travel. All excellent advice—and difficult to follow when you are in pain.
“It’s not a heartbroken thing, it’s a brain-broken thing,” says Marianne Legato, a cardiologist and founder of the Partnership for Gender-Specific Medicine at Columbia University.
What do you think—what affect do Facebook and other forms of social media have on relationships and break-ups? Do they help relationships, or only aid in unhealthy obsession?
7 thoughts on “How to Get Over a Breakup: Quit Facebook Stalking!”
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the best way is to stay off facebook… another way is to not think about them.. focus on yourself first.. do not worry about them because they are not worried about you …just tell your self its not worth it.. It may be hard only because you make it hard…
I was dating a man who also had dated a woman who lived four hours away. I asked if he was still seeing her and he replied ” She’s geographically undesirable and lifestyle incompatible”. I took this as he was no longer seeing her. We went away for the weekend and he took pictures of us and I asked if he would post them to his facebook. When I looked at his site two days later there were photos of the two of them and from the written exchange back and forth it was apparent they were lovers. He didn’t want to post pictures of us because he was emotionally invested in her, not me and he didn’t want her to see them or know about me. Lesson learned-if someone is secretive about their facebook account and unwilling to let the world know that you are in their life and that you are seeing them-exit stage left!
this is such a truth. i hope all the heartbroken girls and guys read this article. if you have to be on a social network look for someone new or enjoy your friends. stalking the old person in the relationship will only make the pain last longer. why keep going through the same energy over and over.
meditate and move on…
~~~metta waves~~~
-quinn ext. 5484
Krishna,
You are so on target with this ….so many facebook casualties, choose not to be one use it for just light socializing not your only way of socializing. This society is in real danger becasue of the technology. Maybe read about Atlantis and see what brought it down see the similarities of what we are creating in this world right now it all starts with us.
Many Blessings
Abigail~
Excellent article !!!!
My advice for those trying to heal from a broken relationship, unless you enjoy torturing yourself, is stay off of Facebook !
The advice above is a great starting point, do anything to stay busy, distracted or productive…..anything that will keep you off of Facebook.
it is no only me that breaks up.it is my partner also..how i break up some one i dont know ….there is nothing wrong with just being friends…sometime a friend can help and sometime he cant..it not me to say what to do with his life…that is up to him not mind…somtimes there are choices to make..relationships are not for everyone…they dont want to comminted to anyone..i understand i feel the same way…THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH JUST BEING FRIENDS..i am not depress over this..because i feel he will be be happier this way….