Get Over it and Get On With It!
We’ve all done it. A bad day at work, a particular person who was rude or took advantage of us, the traffic or lines holding us up from something. Whatever the scenario, the method many of us use to deal with the aftermath is to verbally vent about the situation. While this may seem like a good way to de-stress, it may actually cause more harm than good. Let’s look at why this is the case!
The Snowball Effect
Similar to the theory on the law of attraction, focusing on something can actually fuel the fire and allows you to perpetuate those feelings of frustration, stress and anger. Similarly, like a snowball rolling down a hill, gaining speed and size, so can your emotions worsen a negative situation. “Venting” can actually reinforce aggressive impulses, making you feel worse than if you had simply let the situation roll over you leaving no marks. While some venting may be a cathartic way to release negative thoughts and feelings, there are better methods within reach!
Taking the Higher Ground
While talking through problems can be effective, putting a proper spin to this strategy is the best way to go. Using more effective coping methods such as humor, acceptance, and a change in perspective are surefire ways to come out ahead in such situations, as opposed to stewing in a nasty brew of negative emotions. Laughing about an uncomfortable circumstance is a great and healthy way to alleviate stress, as is accepting a scenario for what it is. By doing these things, you allow your perspective to shift from frustration and anger to something constructive.
While the act of venting imight have an upside, spending too much energy and time replaying a negative loop in your head will not aide you in overcoming the situation. So next time you find yourself righteously complaining about a scenario in which you are badly treated, you can pause, take a deep breath and consider these more constructive ways to come out on top!
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16 thoughts on “Venting: Is It Really as Constructive as You Think?”
I’m finding that when I “vent” my frustrations to my friends/family, it doesn’t really do any good because it usually upsets and frustrates them too. Save it up to tell your counselor/therapist. Everyone has their own problems they have to deal with these days and they can’t handle yours too.
I agree with a lot of the responses on here. While I am an optimist there are times you need to talk out loud to someone who can help you sort your thoughts or just listen. To a small extent this makes me think of the “cashier” or “postman” senerio. Always letting things slid, laughing it off, turning it inward basically. At some point you will breakdown. I think this advice is great given the right situations, but there are times when people really need to speak and be heard.
Oopsy! Guess I didn’t read other comments well enough. I agree with most and found that most agree with my views on “venting”. Psychologically necessary in a lot of cases…
Great subject for discussion. Every person is different and has to handle issues their own way. As for myself, if something ridiculous is really bothering me (depending on the situation of course) I will vent to someone who realizes that they only have to listen to me for a few minutes in order for me to shut up. After I have spoken my peace to whomever I find that I can laugh at myself and move on with life because I don’t have this “thing” irking me anymore. Good friends who will listen to you vent are so important and even if they don’t realize how much you need to get it out by venting to them they still hear you out.
If something is on my mind I can’t keep it inside my head, it has to be vented before it can be released or it festers and grows into a worse “thing”. In reality, isn’t it better to be able to vent first before you try that high road?
I like the responce…….put the baggage behind you!!!!!…and keep moving….life doesn’t stop & pause, neither should you……
thank you and do I need to say more….
clairity to my responce…emotions are never negitive, it is the build up of reactions that burst forth from us as a result of holding on to any emotion that makes the emotion appear to be negitive.
everyone is so into being “positively positive” that we are doing more damage than good. You would not have the neg. reaction if you were not holding onto the neg. emotion in the first place. Every situation is an opportunity to see what we are denying about ourselves. It is not to loop it thru your head or complain about it repeatedly, but notice your reaction not deny it! Acknowledge you have the emotion and allow yourself to experience it…but not direct the emotion at the person you think did you wrong. To pretend it did not in-fect you gets you no where, except more situations that will bring to the surface what you are not dealing with in the first place and even further from yourself. Each time we pretend ‘ oh it is ok” the next situation just gets bigger! Every time you pretend , it is more fuel to the eventual explosion that builds up inside of you and will have to come out… Before the past can be laid down and left in the past it needs to be dealt with. Reactions are based on past experiences not what is happening in front of you. What matters is not what happened but how you feel about what happened to you and deal with that. Once things are dealt with you no longer react but start to respond….big difference! We forget we are spiritual energetic beings and if the emotion is not already something we are holding onto we would have never experienced it the way we thought it happened. This is why it is important to acknowledge how you feel, deal with it and then and only then can you move on. Money is not a bad thing, guns are not bad things, nor are emotions bad things….it is what we do with them that counts. It is never good to numb yourself and pretend like everything is okay when it is not. That is exactly what has gotten us into the mess we are in . Allow yourself to feel the emotion within yourself not directed at anyone and not blamed on anyone, but feel what ever it is. (Feeling your emotions internally does not mean you have a lisence to go out and take it out on others) “shut up and stay positive” is actually harmful. Our feelings matter and under all those pretend positive feelings is the next attack waiting to happen and really causes passive aggressive behavior. So please, do not pretend like nothing happened! It matters how we feel, it fact it is important to know how we feel and allow ourselves to feel how we feel, if we ever want to change our future and not continuously repeat our past. Being pretend positive is like a disease and will destroy you from the inside out.
I agree in part. Sometimes venting a wrong to a good friend ALLOWS you to release it and let it go….much faster than if it sits in your brain and possibly festers. And also a 2nd opinion from a trusted friend with some good advice is exactly what is called for, so that you can move forward in your life.
Thanks Alina for the article, it is really an encouragement. To let go is the best thing to do. It helps to get over situations, give peace and save you from stress.
I thought this article was about ‘venting’ not stewing, two different things entirely! I vent and then immediately say “Now, I’m done venting!” What next? I don’t stew, it never helps. Laughing, accepting or changing my perspective when I am not wrong or have been treated unfairly? Not an option! I am not going to just roll over! “While the act of venting imight have an upside, spending too much energy and time replaying a negative loop in your head will not aide you in overcoming the situation. ” I don’t spend much energy on negatives, but sucking up everything everyone does to me led to depression (severe) before. Now I limit how much energy I devote to negatives and make myself move on ASAP! This sounds like keeping things bottled up to me. Sometimes you just want to know that you are right and that what you are feeling is justified and you really are not just being self-righteous.
well I live with my mother-in-law, and have done for the past 21 odd years, we are different in almost every way, while my son was young she always had her opinion of how we should be bringing him up, and what he should do with his life, as she had with my hubby, which is, if it isnt easy give up, as her family men always have. We think differently, that we should try to be the best we can, I gave in to her while my son was young as it would end up in fights if I didn’t, so she took over things like his clothes washing, now he has gone to University but while nothing has changed with her attitude, she still wants to be useful, she and I have very different ideas of how things should be done, and I am not the best diplomat either as I tend to have to walk away before I say something I might regret later, without emphasising negative things, how then, should I handle this ?
Holding-up has its lop-side as well. It can lead to procrastination and delay in action. It can lead to self-defeat and self negation leading to a loss of self esteem in the long run.
How does one release and yet NOT release. Any suggestions anyone.
yes
i like most things phychics have to tell us
Great thoughts Alina,
These are wonderful suggestions.
One more I might add is to remind ourselves when we get angry we give the person or situation power over us.
When we accept and release [our anger] they/it no long has power over us.
Thanks Alina!
Love & Light,
~Chloe (ext. 9421)
Fantastic article……put the baggage behind you !!!
…and keep moving…..life doesn’t stop & pause, neither should you.