Learning to Let Go
Are you holding a grudge over a silly argument you had with a loved one or a former love? Are you stuck in a place of hate and resentment or perhaps trying to hold on to something or someone that doesn’t fit in your present life or your plans for the future? One of the best ways to live your life to the fullest is to put the negative parts of your past in the past and leave them there.
We may not be able to forget our past, and some of it we don’t want to, but when the things you carry with you through life are the negative things from our past, we leave little hope for a life lived to its potential. Take with you, by all means, the lessons your past has taught you, but discard the resentments that those lessons may be borne from.
Negative events from our pasts may shape us, but they don’t define us. To give up our futures to events of the past is to rob ourselves of life and to give away our power to someone or something that isn’t worthy of our pity, let alone our power. Here are a few things to leave in your past that will help you grow and move on:
1. Hurtful words and arguments that made you feel small;
2. The image of yourself as half of a whole; you are always a whole person;
3. Anything you’ve forgiven someone for, making it off limits to bring up again;
4. Physical trinkets that spur on bad memories or make you cry; they’re just “things,” toss them;
5. Grudges; they eat away at you, hold you back, and limit your vision of what could be; or
6. Expectations that your future will be no better than the past; that’s just not so.
People and situations, both negative and positive, are part of what make us into who we are in the present. Luckily, over time, most of the experiences we remember from our past are the good ones. But to keep a negative experience alive is to invite it into your future; it will happily come along and hold you back when you should be moving forward. You could waste years of your life mulling over what might have been or could have been if things had been different, but the past cannot change, it has already happened.
Tabula Rasa
Tabula rasa is a Latin term meaning “clean slate.” Make a conscious effort to leave a negative past where it belongs, in the past. Be it a job or a romantic relationship or whatever, resolve to forgive and forget. If you forgive someone, then don’t bring up their past indiscretion again. If you move on from someone, remember why you did, and leave it that way. It is entirely possible to have a tabula rasa, and a future that looks as bright as the Sun. All you have to do is leave behind the things that no longer serve you.
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17 thoughts on “6 Things Everyone Should Leave in the Past”
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To whom it may concern,
I really confused how this happened as several times tried to call you toll free but couldn’t get thu .
Well I could felt that someone doing something wrong to me & my dear husband as did Possible ?
Plenty of times I really wanted to call but always didn’t go thru . What am I suppose to do please advise .
I really loved your point of view regarding grudges …………………………………………………….
But don’t you know everybody forgets …
Even Jesus who sent us his beloved son to be crucified on the cross for all our sins
That truly is a blessing to see the words that have been roaming in my brain for the past 8 years wich have helped in my transformation from the horrible person that i became from holding ressentment in my heart . however for the life of me on this very present relationship I have found my self struggling to come up with the words when i find myself trying to difuse a argument that holds no place in my life anymore and the one person i’m inlove with cant seem to let go of . As i prayed to god to give me the wisdom , strenght and the words to reach out to my love and help save our relationship, LJ Innes has done that for me and god has answered my prayer. now i just hope she reads this blogg…………………………….. Thank you LJ Innes …
That truly is a blessing to see the words that have been roaming in my brain for the past 8 years wich have helped in my transformation from the horrible person that i became from holding ressentment in my heart . however for the life of me on this very present relationship I have found my self struggling to come up with the words when i find myself trying to difuse a argument that holds no place in my life anymore and the one person i’m inlove with cant seem to let go of . As i prayed to god to give me the wisdom , strenght and the words to reach out to my love and help save our relationship, LJ Innes has done that for me and god has answered my prayer. now i just hope she reads this blogg…………………………….. Thank you LJ Innes …
Hi…thanks for lovely articles it is so helpful to me…whatever you told about is nice.. & hope it will help to someone else also….
thanks…
Whats the old saying – “if you seek revenge, dig two graves”? The only person you are hurting by holding a grudge is indeed yourself. By letting it go it does not free the other person for the responsibility of their actions, it frees YOU. There is a vast difference between forgiveness and allowance!
Great article.
Sincerely,
HCBL
Very good advice, simple concept, powerful result.
it give an inside that my past had pull me back for long now, with the little i have read i will put it in practice ,
Great advice. I have Trauma Brain.(wired young with trauma). I have spent a good portion of my life trying to let go of the past. I have tried PTSD, EFT,Holosync and many other types of help including Yoga and other meditative states. Now I am trying NeuroPlasticity. Time is a great healer and I use it wisely but I am stuck.. Any advice on a brain that has wired its self with bad info.
A few corrections. My apologies please from Dr. Son (smith)
The Serenity Prayer is ” God grant me the serenity to accept the thing I can not change, COURAGE to change the things I can, WISDOM to know the difference.” As always to you God Bless, Be well and remember it’s up to you to decide if it’s going to be a GREAT day! No on else! You decide how you want to let them make you feel! Be well, Dr. Son .
This comes to mind, the Serinity prayer. ” God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can notchange, COURAGE to Jane the things I CAN, WiSDOM to know the difference.” It is amazing how if you recite this over and over to yourself how you begin to find relief or somewhat understanding. Be well, Dr. Son
i am not stuck in relationship..if fact i feel it is a happy one with love in it…i have plenty of love to give..somrtime it doent show…but it is there to give….even though i had a marriage that was a good one..but only thing we both our own issues to deal with..but we made up and go on..
my past wasnt that bad..i did have good memories of it…i grew up having very good griends..my only regret is that i let down a personal friend of mine…i do not hol gruges..somrtimes i dont what it was for…one minute..i might do somethings that i dont remember..i get over very fast but can the other person feel the same way..i dont think so…it seems to go on and on…if some people want to say hello..i will go out of my to say it back..but if they dont i dont care one way or another…it is their lost and my gain….
when will we meet our doomsday?
Leave the past behind.
Tabula rasa.
Life is long. Live it well.
Kau Kavanagh
Fantastic article. It helped me leave things in the past!
Another powerful article, filled with wisdom and VERY good advice!