When to Hold On and When to Let Go
When a relationship moves from Bliss Street to a dead end street, is it time to move on? Could there be a U-turn up ahead, or is this an impossible one-way street leading to nowhere?
It’s true, we’ve all done it—dated the guy who was all wrong for us. Usually, once bitten is enough, but there’s always a few of us who like the constant challenge and always choose guys who we think are “keep-him” material, while everyone else is saying “dump him.” Could everyone be so wrong, or are you just fooling yourself? If you’re feeling angst and confusion, if you’re not sure if you should keep him or dump him, then here are seven questions you can ask yourself, seven ways that you can know for sure:
1. You’re crazy about him but your friends/family don’t like him; there’s always a hint of tension when you’re all together. Why can’t everyone just be happy for you? You are happy, aren’t you?
“Passions can be willful and the desire to be right can often dominate our thoughts, eclipsing the best intentions.” – Faith ext. 9608
2. He moves around your place like he lives there, but you’ve never been to his place. He’ll say, “It’s messy, it’s a guy hangout,” or “it’s too far away.” You’re probably more comfortable at your place anyway.
3. Even though you’ve introduced him to your friends and family, you’ve never met his. You may feel like you know them because he talks about them all the time, but the truth is, you wouldn’t know them if you ran into them head on.
4. He picks fights with you out of nowhere, and then leaves. But the next day you’re together, and it’s Camelot all over again. An “I’m sorry,” a kiss, and all’s forgotten about how crappy he made you feel just yesterday.
“No abuse… no matter what the excuse.” – Shyla ext. 5431
5. He puts his own interests first, even if it means disappointing you or going back on his word. But, you understand, don’t you?
6. Your co-workers tell you that you’ve changed, and not in a good way. You haven’t changed a bit; there must be something wrong with them. You dismiss it and ignore your own intuition (and the four-alarm light show going off in your head).
7. He’s not always available on his cell, sometimes you get voice mail and no call back, but he always has to know where you’ve been, who you’ve been with, and what you did.
Maybe your signs are slightly different, but you get the picture. You’re dating a guy who doesn’t respect you, who doesn’t put you first, and you keep making excuses for him, and sometimes you even take the blame. Your happiness is compromised more and more, and really, don’t you deserve better? Don’t risk losing your most treasured relationships for the sake of this one. It’s not supposed to be this hard; really, it’s not.
Are you nervous or relaxed? Do you walk on eggshells and dance around things just to avoid a fight? Are you listening to your own intuition, and fulfilling your own relationship needs? If you’re asking yourself, should I keep him or dump him, chances are you’ve already got your answer.
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32 thoughts on “Keep Him or Dump Him: 7 Ways to Know for Sure”
The expression “The Perfection of Death” comes to mind whenever I hear anyone talk about the perfect mate. Love is filled with chaos. There are always bouts of jealousy and paranoia about what the other is doing. There is always the suspicion about another woman or another man. Actually chaos and creativity are necessary to each other and without chaos we would be machines-not human. So, go easy, lighten up on each other, have fun! Accept the inevitable anguish and longing. It can’t be helped. (:
Every relationship is a dark night of the soul. It’s a marriage of opposites and it essentially means that two become one which is scary. And just as we hate things about ourselves we find that we hate things about our mate also. Who wants to become what they dispise? That is of course until we take a good long look in the mirror… Dedication:) One by U2. (:
thank you for this amazing insight. I am going through a very similar situation that is making me doubt me. He says he is so in love, but it’s me walking on eggshells to avoid fights. He screws up but makes it like I caused this. This article helped me to see the LIGHT..Thank you
If you follow love you will become what you are. (:
I AM EXPERIENCING FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS THIS KIND OF BULSHIT RELATIONSHIP NOT BEING HIS PRIORITY INSTEAD HIS SON… IT HURTS I FEEL SO BROKEN BUT I CANT LEAVE COZ I STILL LOVE HIM .ITS HARD REALLY NOT THAT EASY TO GO YOU KNOW….STILL I GIVE A LITTLE MORE TIME AND HOPES?.. WELL LETS SEE!
i really love her too she just keeps dwelling on the past. i want to some day marry her
i am trying to be patient about this but he still has not committed completely. he keeps telling me the only reason he is with me is because he has not found anybody else yet. what should i do? i love him sooo much.
yes…love yourself first because in the end..it is only you who truly cares for yourself….if everything comes to worst.
If you are asking whether you should keep him or dump him – it probably means you are attached more to the outcome than to the present.
It’s great to know the outcome, that’s what we, at California Psychics, are here for – however, act on what is present – not solely on what is in the future. You have needs in the present and there may be actions you need to take in the present. Acting on present circumstances is what often brings about the outcome you desire in the future.
Find out more about your present circumstances and how to act effectively on them by talking to your psychic.
Reed 5105
this is so true and it hurts but it straight forward and what i really need to see. i need to let go i know its someone out here for me it got to be
==
Enough or Too Much. -William Blake
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. -William Shakespeare (:
Hope is a lover’s staff; carry it hence and wage it against all disparaging thoughts. -William Shakespeare (:
Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare (:
It really applies and he’s definitely a dumper!
Interesting!
I am male. Obviously, this can be a problem with a female partner also. With slight changes this is too freakingly close to how I am treated.
Dump Time?
I’ve been in a few of those relationships, and now…finally have someone that I enjoy being with. It’s amazing when both people involved really do enjoy each other and respect each other. I’ve been told I’ve changed by people I know, but all in good ways. If you question a relationship, then it’s time to stop and take a really good look at it. Even with this one, I still take the time to see how it is going….if I ever feel the need to leave, or him…both of us have enough respect to allow it to happen. Until then, if it does, I am staying on course.
O that’s so true! And answer for a problem from God himself in words from somebody else does help you solve the conflict you are in. A friend of mine undergoing a similar situation with her friend. Now I get something to answer her. Thanks for the the wonderful, enlightening share!
I read this article about “7 Ways to be Sure”. Do you think it would apply to adults who are 70 years old or just the younger folks. Sometimes older adults are only looking for a friendly relationship or companionship.
Would these “7 ways to be sure” apply to people who are 70 yrs old as well?
Awesome article…soooo true. I have made soo many excuses for my man in this situation above..Even blamed myself for what HE did….he is either full on or completely unavailable. He turns up 3 hours late when he says he will see me soon or never turns up at all. I know ALL about his family, but when they turned up at his house he kept them outside and me inside and did NOT introduce me….I was never first..Oh well maybe around bed time and you get the drift of that….soul destroying stuff…But now have moved on and am ignoring the 23 calls in one hour and the 12 txts coz I KNOW he will not change and I want BETTER!!!! And I endured this crap for 2 years….That part is all my fault….but I can see that now 🙂 Sometimes we really cant see the trees for the forrest 🙂
Thanks again for the article!!!
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Thanx, this article helped me alot. 4 out of 7 things r correct n he’s asking me 2 marry him n lead life vth him. please help?!
make that list. the keep him side vs. the dump him side. weigh it out…
usually if he is the best lover you ever had it will be hard to let him go. but hey we cannot spend our lives in bed or the back room at the office 🙂
if you are unhappy in a relationship get relationship help with a few sessions on the couch with a professional. sometimes the issues can be worked out and you can move forward with a fresh energy – a relationship awakening.
also i think that relationships take a course, a start – a middle – an end. some end sooner than others. like life, relationships have lifespans, in the end the organic energy of life will happen,
remember the marriage vows say “till death do us part” –
Spot on!! If this describes your relationship, you most certainly are involved with a self serving, controlling (it is oh so subtle or not), emotionally unavailable/immature/bankrupt individual. Did I mention the person is likely a consummate liar as well? Now I did! Yes, I’ve been there and so relieved having moved on to a happier, more fulfilling life. Blessings to you for having shared these insights!
Spot on!! If this describes your relation….You most certainly are involved with a self serving, controlling (it is oh so subtle or not), emotionally unavailable/immature/bankrupt individual. Did I mention the person is likely a consummate liar as well? Now I did! Yes, I’ve been there and so relieved having moved on to a happier, more fulfilling life.
Ladies, if your’e dealing with any of the above mentioned – heed the words of L.J. because she or he is right, quit being a chump and ” let it go “. Men should cherish women , and NOT just for the sex ( i know, i sound a bit chickish – Thats what a REAL MAN sounds like . the feeling should be reciprocated by women – but if that aint whats happening in your relationship, get out of it cuz your only hurting yourself.
OUT OF THE SEVEN WAYS TO KNOW FOR SURE, NO#2, 3, 5, & 7 IS MY RELATION FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS. SHOULD I MOVE ON OR KEEP TRYING? I FEEL I AM FIGHTING A LOOSING BATTLE
It sure is funny how these articles always point the finger at the guys. I dated a woman that acted this exact way. I never met her friends or work companions. She reneged on times we were supposed to do things together. Needless to say she lied to me and cheated on me. Oh well, her loss and hopefully eventually she will get her act together before it is to late.
I wonder why some people can be so selfish in relationships, you treat them like kings or queens, yet when they disrespect you, and you confront them with it, they always try to make it seem like it was you, when you know you have been nothing but nice to them, yet they make it seem like they are the victoom…smh
oh forgot to say this on my last cooment,its been almost 3 months
my boyfriend is very distance from me,meaning no hugs,cuddling,lovins.i think hes cheating or something,im very….. up tight about this.i just dont know what to do,to appoint that is.
I agree with this article I keep asking myself the same questions