Friday Friday from Nigeria asks:
If I forgive a cheating partner, does that means that they will not cheat again? When should we accept them back into the relationship?
Dear Friday,
To forgive a partner of betrayal is no easy task. But, in order to truly forgive, and give your relationship a chance, both parties have to work on the relationship and rebuild trust.
When a person cheats, it doesn’t mean that they are destined to continue cheating. However, the opposite is also true—there are no concrete guarantees that someone will not stray again, given the opportunity. There really isn’t a blanket “yes or no” answer to such a general question. It really depends on the parties involved.
Some people are exceptionally loyal, others are not. Many couples who survive the pain and drama of a cheating partner actually find themselves in a stronger relationship because of the betrayal. Others can’t get past the betrayal, and will go their separate ways.
As a rule, those who are happy in a relationship and with their partner rarely break the bonds of commitment. To truly heal the relationship, the underlying issues must be addressed.
In your case, I’d be very careful if I were you. Your partner wants safety and security, and to be heard, but you are so deeply immersed in struggling with the past that you aren’t paying attention to the present. Because of this, history is likely to repeat…
I hope this helps you.
Brightest Blessings,
Red
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