How Long Do You Let People Test You?
When should you give somebody a second chance?
It’s a tough question. Should you let somebody back in if they’ve hurt you once? Twice? Three times? What if they haven’t hurt you, but you can see the pattern, and you’re sure it’s coming?
There are times in my life that I’ve believed that everybody deserves a second chance. I’ve even spent periods of time using the Buddhist practice of taking the blame for everything that goes wrong in life. Then again, I’ve also spent periods of time striking first, striking hard and striking low. Different approaches work for different situations.
It’s oft repeated that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, and if we constantly see bad motivations in those around us, we’re liable to end up very isolated. But then again, we live in a very confusing and demented time where people are, it seems, quite happy to screw each other over at the drop of a hat, even more so than usual as the economy has gotten so nightmarish. So what’s the proper attitude to have?
The choice is between living life completely armored or dropping the armor and living, knowing that we may well get hurt in the process.
So what’s it to be? What’s the right line between protecting ourselves and letting people walk all over us? Where do we draw the line as to how vulnerable we allow ourselves to be, and how much we let people walk all over us?
“The only person you can change is yourself. Learn to accept others as they are or move on.” – Rivers ext. 5273
And when do we break down and give a person we’ve had problems with in the past a second chance, if ever? When do we decide to let somebody back in? Do we?
It’s an open question to the readers of the blog. I’m sure everybody has a different take on it and I’m looking forward to hearing your responses.
“You will become independent again. You will start to smile again, embarking on the the new foundation that you are building. As time passes you will even feel like dating again.” – Asia ext. 5486
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5 thoughts on “When Should We Give Second Chances?”
Always! And everytime he/she hurts me I will always frankly tell him/her what is in my mind and heart! And after all what has been said and done! We have to move on! Start all over again for the betterment between us!
Amy ! I know your situation all too well. I have been in the same exact situation in the past. I was with a man whom i loved very very much but he was schizophrenic and believed i was cheating on him. He even physically attacked me towards the end. He would wake me up out of bed to question me. I lost my job once and when i came home he was laying in the bedroom with blankets over the windows and i told him i lost my job and he said “are you cheating on me” …ok you get the idea. This is a bad …situation to be involved in and it hurts to let go especially if you are very attached to them and you are sexually compatible with them…i can not tell you what to do but i can tell you what i did. One day i just got rid of him …like ripping off a band aide …i just let him go ..it hurt i was a mess but in retrospect i look back and that man could have killed me ….this is the short version of my story but you get the idea. I had to comment because i want you to know i sympathize with your situation very much and i understand how you are feeling and i want you to keep in mind that relationships that are so co dependent like that are more dangerous then you think …they can become almost like an addiction and you will make excuses for their behavior etc…. I know how you feel but please consider giving a man a chance who is more responsive to your good nature. These mental conditions often times can not be cured or managed well with meds and life on their emotional roller coaster can be a living hell. I hope this helps. I would like to extend a big hug to you and much compassion as well. It will be ok in the end. I PROMISE !
Namaste !
Sandy
Hi Krishna Bill ,
It’s different for everybody…..
…..as a professional psychic of over 45 years…..it’s NEVER wise for any psychic to stereo-type a client and their situation or their circumstances …as it is unique to them and their Karmic path.
Some people can and do change, some can change quickly, some slowly over time……
….and some will not or cannot change at all.
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
Wonderful blog, great quotes. It’s hard to know when to do what, but I believe each person has an intuitive side to explore, and through listening to it, they can learn which way to go.
.. this is my question but for me there are no answers.
The love of my life whom I became engaged to last year was diagnosed 2 years ago with a dibilitating mental illness called Pyschosis and in learning of this I finally understood that gary’s spirituality wasnt just him but also his mind has been increasingly taken over byt this disease. There are many forms of pyschosis but gary’s is combined with very deep depression and very strong mood swings. Watching the man I love crumble to pieces believing wholeheartedly that I have been unfaithful .. seeing and even hearing things from me or “other men” with me has caused our separation from early Nov. to this date. I want so badly to follow the advise given for me here on this site but for some ..”like me” there is no rule book and no resolutuin to be had as we cannot control what others think. I have been accused of so many infidelities that are not truth at all so when do I stop??? Because he stopped communicating 3 days ago .. is off medication and refuses to call or see me. How do I look for hope in this kind of reality to change my relationship and honour my own destiny?!
Thank-you,
Peace.love&hope ..
Amy.