Hey! This Isn’t My Underwear
Infidelity can be a relationship killer – but it doesn’t have to be. There are three important questions you need to ask to find out if recovery from an affair is possible. Every situation is different, and it’s up to the two people involved to determine the fate of their pairing. If you’ve recently discovered your special someone sneaking out on the side, here are three things to consider before determining the fate of your relationship. Not sure what steps to take next? Talk to Psychic Krishni ext. 5478 to see where things are headed.
Is the Affair Over?
Whether the infidelity came in the form of a one night stand or an ongoing relationship, before you can even consider undoing the damage that’s been done, you need to know for certain that the affair is over – and that your partner is committed to being faithful from here on in. While the trust has clearly been broken, there is no way it can be repaired if the cheating is not definitely done.
What Were the Causes?
You’ve heard the laws of physics. You know – for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Well, even if your lover’s infidelity doesn’t feel very equal to you at the moment, odds are you participated in a dynamic that fostered their desire to look elsewhere. Was the cheating your fault? Of course not. Your partner was the one who decided to step over the line and begin a relationship with someone else without ending yours. However, if you ask yourself honestly, you’ll probably find you were drifting apart or somehow unavailable. Perhaps your partner needed more than you were willing or able to give. Maybe your attention was elsewhere. Whatever the underlying issues that led to infidelity, you need to address them honestly before you can begin to repair the relationship – and both of you need to take responsibility for your role in it.
What Do You Want?
Change is hard. At the moment, you’re understandably hurt. But it’s possible that your partner did you a favor. If your relationship wasn’t working, don’t assume you want it to just because it’s the status quo. Sometimes things happen to shake up our lives and help us move in a different direction. Translation? Your partner’s infidelity can have one of two effects: it can kill your relationship or it can strengthen your bond (after you’ve done a lot of work and honest soul-searching together). Before you decide which path to take, ask yourself what you really want your life to look like and if you think that is possible to achieve with this person. If not, be grateful you were given this out rather than clinging on to something you don’t really want in the first place. If so, prepare for a long, but potentially rewarding road. Confused if you want to continue the relationship? Talk with Psychic Quinn ext. 5484 to see the big picture.
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18 thoughts on “You’ve Caught Your Partner Cheating – Now What?”
Hmm,women when they are prepared to cheat ur feelings dosnt matter to them.talkn wit xperience.after devoting my time,money and love for 8yrs she still left without rememberin d past.few months after hr leavn,she came back asking dat we shuld go on again.in aspect of cheating,women ar most heartless.
For thomas, good thing that you never cheat and I’m proud of you for doing that, about thingkin about woman married to a man because of financial stability thats not right. woman also dream to have a good married life something she can cherish and when you get old , both of you will take care of each other. for your wife I guess she always proud to tell to her relatives and friends that you never cheat on her and faithful to her.I have a husband he is the only man in my life I thank god to have him coz I knew he was faithful. I was faithful to him all my life , marriage for me is sacred , I dont believe in divorce. he doesn’t have friends before and me either , because having friends in your workplace is a temptation. my husband was assigned in other country d/t his job he met friends but this friends are a bad influence friends teaching my husband to cheat on me, they succeeded my husband cheat on me.I was mad and devastated , all my dreams shuttered , I wanted to have revenge but I cannot do it , coz I knew i was a decent woman and never brought up like that , I cannot even think to have sex with stranger to make it even, I consult the pastor and said just pray for your husband to change and for you don’t ever think to do something that you will regret at the end ,the important is ..Its not you who did the cheating Its not you who hurts his feelings, the lord will guide you and give you strength.
For Mr. Evolution shame on you, surely you will end up getting a woman who is a cheater too.
For other man if you do it once , its a mistake but if you do it many times , its a choice.
For joseph look at the background of the woman that you said ” woman also do cheat too not only a man”. coz if you know the woman’s background is decent , she is simple and knows the lord in her heart with a good family background and not flirtatious, thats the woman who will never cheat. But I tell you most guys is the one who cheated first , coz even they are already married , he will try to flirt to any woman and if the woman bite it , she is yours and have sex with her next thing you know she will ask you to give her money and then ask you to divorce your wife. you think this guy had a conscience. BIG NO!
Why are people so hell bent on monogamy and devotion and exclusivity?
I’m a man but I’m with the cheater . I think it is so ridiculous to expect or try to have one person to satisfy all of your needs. Its ridiculous in itself, but even more ridiculous if you consider some of your needs to be variety and excitement, different ideas and perspectives, different dietary persuasions, sleep cycles, and sexuality preferences. Let me put it this way: one girl sucks cock very well but doesn’t like it in the ass and another other girl likes it in the ass but doesn’t really take to sucking dick. *So you just have to choose? How about one girl likes biking but has a fear of swimming and the other girl loves to swim but wouldn’t go near a bike? *You just have to choose?
I think there are many cheaters cut from many different scenarios, but I think a commonality among a lot of cheaters is to want more and dream bigger.
i liked it but that joseph is right we can’t think that all men are cavemen most wemon out there is cheating b/c they think that their husband, boyfriend,feincee is cheating we never get the guts to really ask them if they are so we can’t just think that it’s only guys. i’ve never cheated and i’ve been cheated on. but i like the advice i get but it is sexsit most of the times.we need to think if guys were’nt here the human race would be gone just think about it and thanks for all of the advice
This message is to Thomas, I understand what you are going through, I went through the same, one big difference is he decided to turn to someone else who used him, he told me that before I left him, he was going to find himself someone…..he could not even bother trying to sit down and talk this through with me but cry on someone else’ shoulders…he took the easy way out……he also had the nerve to ask……if it does not work out will you take me back.
I married for better or worse, sickness and health but when his behaviour was hurting my son, I asked for my divorce. I have come to accept the fact he was just the person who fertalized my egg, he was never really there during my pregnancy, my son’s birth, during his childhood and even now that he is 26.
If what you said is true, I hope this woman wakes up because true love is so hard to find!
Good luck and Happy Easter
Thomas: it shoulnt be that way. But I can totally relate 🙁
Whoa, the title of this piece is exactly what I said back over 20 years ago to my ex-wife (a Cancer) as I was pulling out a pair of boxer shorts from my dresser in the morning. They were the same size, same style – but NOT mine. From what I heard, her next husband found her out too (*she’s on her 5th marriage).
A couple of years ago, she confided to a mutual family female friend that she just needs “more” than what one man can provide…
Hello, how interesting was your page for me!
I actually have been through this hard road with the man that i fell in love with, after dating him for 5yrs…. yes dating, no committment, no engagement!
Due to my insecurities from a previous marriage after 23 yrs! well this man that i tell you about i have no doubt does love me, but he decided to have a relationship with his coworker, and in return i had done the same with a friend… Now that left me very angry with me. We want to work things out, and after getting back together with him after a 4 month break up, i have no trust and believe he is still with this woman at his job. I cry alot, im very insecure, and lost all feelings! bitterness and hate is brewing in me d/t this.
thank you for this article! it is an eye opener, i have questions to ask myself and really think about…
from a very hurt woman!
Seriously … if its not my underwear.. it is OVER!
Really you actually write an article about being understanding or trying to work it out.. depending on what you want…. or maybe he did you a favour?
what kind of message is this?
NOPE can’t say this has been a good article… Truth and trust is what counts in a relationship you do not need to find a ” not my underwear ” to get the hint or work issues out…
terrible article… pisses me off
Nice article…definitely food for thought.
I like to share this with you bee
This is absolutely true, true, true. It is hard for anyone to face, when thier partner is cheating, that you own guilt in it as well. It is much easier to point the finger of blame and hold your head up that they strayed, when 9 out of 10 times the truth is you pushed them to do it. When your spouse reaches out to you over and over and gets a cold shoulder or pushed away with excuse after excuse in return, a self defense wall starts building up between the “giver” of the relationship and the “taker” of the relationship. After so much rejection, the “giver” stops reaching out to the “taker”, because they finally “get it” that the “taker” doesn’t desire them. Everyone needs to feel wanted and desired, the “taker” is getting those needs met, and then deciding that they have no interest in returning those feelings to the “giver”, so the “giver” never feels wanted or needed.
I have not cheated on my wife, but I can understand how attractive an invitation from another would be after years of having love, intimacy and romance rationed my direction with less frequency than teenagers clean thier rooms. When I am near my wife, I seem to always find myself massaging her neck, shoulders, back, head or feet. I do this for hours every night, regardless of how many hours I have worked that day or if she worked at all. When having a severe lower back muscle spasm about a year ago I asked her to rub my back, so she did for not even a full commercial break from the show we were watching. I have found the way she will let me stop pampering her at night is while I am massaging her all I have to do is touch her hip or butt and she moves to a differant chair because her feet are sore and she is tired from only sleeping 10 hours the night before with only a 2 hour nap in the afternoon to get her through and the frozen microwave pizza she fixed herself for supper wiped her out of energy. I have not cheated on her, and I don’t want to because honestly there isn’t any other woman I have any desire for…I only want her. But…I am getting tired of being pushed away like I am undesirable. I think she has definite interest in the financial security of the marriage, but beyond what I can give her or do for her she has little other interest. If I did cheat, she would play the victim role, like women always do, how she was dedicated to me and never strayed. I have tried to talk to her about it so many times but she never wants to talk about it, she has a headache, she is just in a slump, we will talk about it tomorrow…tomorrow never comes. Women want to get married, they push and push you into it and then turn the cold shoulder. What do they really want, because it looks like they truely only love and desire your money. Marriage I guess is learning to live without feeling loved or desired and having to rely on memories of past experiences to maintain your self confidence. Marriage is having a swimming pool in the backyard that you have to clean and maintain but you arent allowed to swim in. Marriage is paying for and preparing a buffet table full of your favorite food to look at, smell, mouth water and drool over, but you can’t have one bite.
Good article!
YOUR ARTICLES ARE CLEARLY WRITTEN TO DOWNGRADE MEN. THERE ARE MORE WOMAN OUT THERE THAT ARE CHEATING ON THEIR PARTNERS, THAN YOU CARE TO ADMIT BY YOUR DENIAL. ALL MALES ARE NOT CAVEMAN AS YOU IMPLY, SO GET YOURSELF A LIFE.
Cofussed about thee whole write up, if he cheated, it means I did something to warrant it? How can that be?
I ‘m glad it hapen to me ,not easy to deal with your ego never had feeling for someone like that before in my life time, I promise. If you don’t know what to do, it to take a few day to find your self and you will find your anwser.Beliving it stronger then what you think but don’t fight the clock thank you so much for the great work keep going
Very good advice, I like it
Very good, I like it