To Love a Boring Man

Don’t Underestimate What May Work Perfectly

I would say the greatest percentage of calls that I get are regarding love. There are also lots of calls regarding money, of course (love and money make the world go ’round, is a favorite saying of mine). Most of the callers about love are ladies who want to know if the guy they are seeing is the “right” guy or if the “right” guy is still in the future.

Most women have specific things they want from their dream man-good looks, financial stability, a sexy nature, consideration for others and faithfulness. These all sound good to me but sometimes one or two of the qualities get left out in the man the woman thinks might be the one right for her.

There are a lot of what I call “bad boys” running around out there.  These guys are good-looking, sexy and maybe even have a good job. There may seem to be a real chemistry going on with my caller and a guy, but there are always problems. He might lie, cheat or forget her birthday. He might dislike her friends and relatives or may forget to call her when he’s going to be very late for a date. Not much in the consideration department, here.

But in the first stages of the relationship, these potentially HUGE problems are overlooked by the woman. She says he’s cute and sexy and articulate. Wow! She knows other guys (who are nice guys, she says) but they don’t appeal. They are boring. She wants the guy who is what I call “an accident waiting to happen.”

I often suggest that these women should look at the guys they know that they consider nice (but boring). When I look at a future love-life for them, there is strong potential there, if the woman would only consider it. But following my suggestion, they might say “Oh, yeah, he’s nice but we just don’t have chemistry.” Well, no, there might not be right off the bat but why not give the guy a chance? Chemistry develops, in my opinion.

When I first met my husband (Mr. T, you can call him), I thought “nice guy, but not a lot of pizzaz there”(don’t tell him I said so). I did NOT feel what people call chemistry. When he asked me out, I thought about it for a minute (yes, I did). But he seemed so NICE that I thought “what the heck.”

The chemistry developed. Mr. T is a really nice, sweet, considerate, faithful kind of guy. He loves his family, loves pets (a big plus to me!) has a stable job (same one for years) and doesn’t lie or cheat. He tips at restaurants. When I want to buy something that he sees absolutely no point in purchasing, he says “Fine, go ahead if it makes you happy.”

He is conservative. None of his friends would call him sexy, dashing or charismatic. But they would call him trustworthy, honest, loyal. He thinks I’m gorgeous (of course, he IS near-sighted!) When he says he will do something, he does it. I trust him. I trust him to always love me and not look for someone else (especially if I hold up my end of the bargain).

I would tell my callers that I married a “perfect” man. Mr. T. doesn’t bring me a dozen long-stemmed roses, and his idea of a birthday gift for me is a box of Whitman’s candy. Last week, he brought me home a surprise gift—a hand mixer he saw that had gone on sale. He felt my old mixer was too heavy for me and wanted me to have a more modern one.

We’ve been married for 17 years. It seems like just a few years to me. I love him more now than when we married, and he says he feels the same. And this happened because I gave a “nice guy” a chance, one who I did not at first feel any “chemistry” with. I wish my callers would do the same.

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