Will You Break Up?

Three of the reasons why couples break up can be summed up in these points: narcissism, how well you know your partner and accept their faults.

Will Your Relationship End Up in the Crapper?

Many relationships are plagued with low potential. The biggest problem with this is it’s you who is usually the last to know about it, and you often face this discovery in one of the worst possible ways (text break up, catch your partner cheating, etc.). To help you ease into a new sense of self-discovery, here are a few of the important guidelines, which seem to explain the difference between happily ever after and crappily in misery again.

The Starry-Eyed Surprise

Three of the biggest reasons why couples break up can be summed up in these points:

• Narcissism – One partner is too busy loving themselves (or attempting to love themselves), and they don’t seem to have any time leftover to love you.

• How well you really know your partner – In other words, how much of your opinion is based on fantasy (ideal perception) and how much is based on months (years) of actual experience?

• Have you accepted your partner’s faults – Do you honestly believe that they are really a good match for you?

The Narcissist

These points are all based on longitudinal scientific studies that have looked at the success rate of various marriages over the course of several years. What they have found is that a narcissistic partner is like oil to water when it comes to a happy relationship/marriage. The traits to avoid in women are those who wear skimpy clothing to gain attention and men who base their self-esteem off the women they are with (trophy wife/girlfriend). Get personalized advice, contact a psychic today!

“Attracting sex is simple. The hard part is when someone believes that sex and love are the same or that one will naturally lead to the other.”  – Psychic Reed ext. 5105

This is the part where you have to be honest with yourself about your own potential, as well as your partner’s. Studies suggest that women who routinely dress provocatively, are more susceptible to cheating, and their chance of a breakup is also higher than average. The belief is that this personality type feels more entitled to share themselves with various partners (in particular, when a relationship is going through a rocky time).

Narcissists cannot always be identified by their clothing preference. However, emotional instability will be one of your next biggest clues. The Narcissistic male bounces between moments of grandiose highs and depressive lows. It is during these bouts with low self-esteem that these guys stray to the other side of the fence in order to boost confidence levels. It’s difficult to love someone else when you are always competing for the love of yourself.

Full Partner Disclosure

In a 13-year longitudinal study at the University of Texas, researchers concluded that couples who were aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses were most likely to stay together. This not only meant that each person had to look at the other with non-tinted eyewear, but they had to be honest with their partner about who they are. Some of this is based on time (the number of years you’ve known each other) and the other portion is based on your ability to see the relationship for what it is.

Some couples get caught up in the romance and great sex of their relationships and fall in love with an ideal image of their partner. There is a difference between romance and passion, which can be summed up by the amount of stability you feel in your relationship. Passion breeds anxiety and excitement when you are apart from your lover, while romance maintains stability regardless of whether you’re together or apart. If you fail to get beyond this ideal image, your relationship will be unlikely to reach the seven-year itch.

“Communication is the key to confidence. Know yourself, find your voice, speak up and be decisive.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435

Protective Idealization

We know that couples stay together the longest when they know each other. However, new research suggests that couples also fare best when they actually do idealize one another as the perfect partner. Okay, so wait a minute. I thought we already established that idealizing your partner was bad. We did, and there is an important point missing from the initial conclusion of this research, as reported in the journal of Psychological Science.

As it turns out, it is not idealizing your partner that protects your relationships as much as it is accepting your partner for who they are and then adjusting your idealization to meet this reality. Once again, it comes down to being honest with yourself about the relationship. In other words, if you can stare at your partner’s big wart on their nose (accept that they’re never on time, they hate Barry Manilow, etc.) and admit that you wouldn’t want them any other way, then you have successfully accomplished what is known as protective idealization – which is a big step towards creating a long-standing relationship with anyone!

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