From the Man Cave to Lustier Delights
This article may bring visions of belch contests, yellow snow, and all-night video game sessions. Unfortunately (and fortunately), this is not all that far from the truth. Let us look at the seven ways that many men prefer to unwind after a long day. To the Man Cave, Bachelor-Man!
1. Alone Time
Whether or not a man is attached to a mate, he will retreat to his cave upon returning from spearing man-eating whales, head-butting elephants, or slaying office mail with his letter opener. By withdrawing from others, this allows his stress to dwindle to acceptable levels. Studies show that a man is at his most relaxed while he is alone. Just the mere presence of another human being relaxing along with him can sometimes cause his stress to linger. Why? Because somebody needs to be getting work done! Is your partner spending too much time alone? Talk to Psychic Isabella ext. 9402 to see what’s really going on.
2. Beer
This substance has replaced water in cultures. Wars have been fought over it, influenced by its toxic allure, and history has been forever changed because of its existence. There is not necessarily any calming force to beer. It is more of a social prop that says, leave me alone; I’m relaxing. A beer is like kryptonite to trash bags and dish brushes, as it temporarily handicaps a man’s hand from use.
3. Television and Video Games
Studies show that men build up stress throughout the day, and vegetation is the best cure. Men actually need to sit in front of a television, bug light, or other form of macho entertainment, allowing his brain to re-energize. Unfortunately, according to statistics, these recuperative powers don’t usually extend themselves to changing diapers, fixing disposals, or recapping why Jim (a coworker) brought a tuna sandwich to work, rather than the usual salami on rye. Men just need a few minutes to themselves before rejoining the human race (and your relationship).
4. Lazy for His Own Good
Research has given man the excuse to be lazy and pass it off as healthy. Studies show that when a guy is busy washing dishes, taking the garbage out, or scrubbing the stains out of a toilet bowl, he is stressed! Not much of a newsflash, as so are women. When he is sitting along with the love of his life, drinking a beer and watching television, he is still stressed. This is interesting, considering women have no problem relaxing with their partner. However, if you put a dish brush into anybody else’s hand, suddenly he feels free to unwind. It’s not that men don’t like getting things done. In fact, it stresses us out when they aren’t. Men and women need to compromise (and organize) to make their downtime more fulfilling.
5. Eat
Comfort food is the preferred gourmet treat for most guys. However, we’re not just talking about macaroni and cheese. Men want “man food.” There is a reason why every time I go to a restaurant with my wife and order a salad, and she orders a medium-rare hamburger, the server hands me the burger, and my wife the salad. Men are supposed to crave blood, and society reinforces this love affair by making him feel satisfied after eating it! A full belly of flesh will bring dad sleepiness, warmth, dreams, and may even help him enjoy some time alone once the green clouds start forming around his chair.
6. Sex
Both men and women can unwind with great sex. There is one caveat. Guys are stressed when they have expectations to meet, such as their partner’s orgasm. When a guy is given a free pass to enjoy all the spoils, without having to worry about keeping his end of the bargain, he can truly unwind. Relationship experts say it is okay to treat your man. Just make sure he does the same for you! Are you not getting what you want in your relationship? Psychic Nicholas ext. 5499 can see what’s ahead for you and love.
7. Guys’ Night Out
A guy can only be a guy when he is surrounded by other Y-chromosomes. Quite simply, men need other men to unwind. Men rarely talk to each other about their lives, concerns or fears. However, standing around looking at the floor, talking about garage tools and breasts brings about a certain camaraderie, allowing us to be okay with who we are. As long as we stick together, we find something to laugh at, thus easing the tension of the moment.
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8 thoughts on “How Men Like to Unwind”
What a hilarious and funny slant on men in general! Great that we can have an article about us rather than men being the cause of problems!
LOL LOL LOL……
You are TOO funny Eric……nice article !
That’s about the size of it, Eric. Vive la difference 🙂
I was married to one. He wanted me to treat him like a king. For example, I worked full time, i changed my clothes as soon as I get home, started cooking, cleaning, by the time food is almost ready, he would go to bed, cover himself with blanket, I had to go upstair, removed blanket, hold his hands and said go downstair and have dinner, or he would eat. Gosh what a life. I couldn’t do it any longer so I get rid of him.
This is really good advice to know. I have noticed this in my own relationship. It makes him a better person to be around without having any hiiden agenda.
i realy to be supprted by
Interesting article, as always. I live with two men, my fiancee and my paralyzed brother, who we take care of. You say men need time alone to relieve stress, but it is the same for women. We just don’t always have the option to retreat to some place to be alone. We have to deal with it the best that we can. Men can go to the garage or the den or to the bathroom to be alone, but we have to wait until everyone is asleep to get quiet time alone. If we go to the bathroom we can always count on someone barging in or knocking on the door. My children are all grown now, so they don’t barge in on me anymore. Now every time I try to get some time alone, it’s what are you doing, are you going to be long. How can you relax when no one ever leaves you alone, someone is always needing something. You say a guy can only be a guy around other guys, why is that, why can’t men just be their selves. We women would appreciate it if men would just be themselves. You don’t have to put on act for us. We can see right through it so cut the shit men.
Smile ladies….. All so true… 🙂