Decipher the Grunts
Man-speak is a combination of calculated gibberish, grunts, snorts, huffs, and toots. For a woman to decipher its hidden meaning, it would take hours using a Little Orphan Annie secret decoder ring. However, today we are going to condense this down to psychology, evolution and your own gut feeling. What are men really saying when they cheat, lie, forgets to call, leave the bathroom a mess, and shrug their shoulders when you ask for an opinion? Why, I’m glad you asked…
Why He Forgets to Call
When a guy says he was too busy, he fell asleep, or he was trapped in a submarine for the past 48 hours, what he is really telling you is that he would rather embarrass himself with silly excuses then come right out and tell you that he’s not interested. Need more help deciphering why he didn’t call? Talk to Psychic Christian ext. 5175 to find out what’s going on with him.
Why He Leaves After You Sleep With Him
Men don’t walk away from a women just because they slept with him, but the sex may have frightened him into exile quicker. This relationship was doomed anyway, and it was never going to work out. When it comes to sex, you should let your own common sense and values guide you, as there is no right or wrong way to approach intimacy. Sex won’t scare the good guys away, or help hold onto the crappy ones.
Why He Won’t Commit
When a woman thinks of commitment, she sees visions of white picket fences, diamonds, and bundles of joy. When a guy considers it, he envisions painting those tiny pickets, spending money he doesn’t have, and the poopy diapers that go along with those bundles. In other words, women may consider what they have to gain, while men worry about what they have to lose. He’ll get over it when he’s ready! If he doesn’t, that’s an entirely different article about commitment phobics.
Why Guys All Say They’ll Call You
Most of the time he really means it, while other times he just doesn’t know what else to say. Don’t assume every guy uses this as an excuse to exit the date permanently. Guys can sense your hesitation and lack of enthusiasm, and translate that as a hint not to humiliate themselves by pushing for a second date.
Why He Keeps His Women Friends
So called “friends” in the early stages of dating, are rarely just friends. Many of these women are backup plans should things not work out. You really only need to worry if these friends are still around once your relationship gets serious (a.k.a. commitment).
Why He’s Always “Fine”
A guy comes home from work. His significant other asks how his day was, and he shrugs, mumbles something about being fine, and walks away. What he is really trying to say is that he hates his boss, was almost run over by a bus, and now all he wants to do is sit in front of the television, have a beer, eat potato chips, and wait for you to cook dinner. Yeah, I know what you ladies are thinking, and three out of four ain’t bad!
Why He’s Sometimes a Slob
In general, single men are less worried about the consequences of their actions. They assume that the green stuff growing on their toothbrushes will most likely not kill them, and the yellow ring around the toilet will probably not attach itself to his delicate man parts. Men are the risk takers in a relationship, which is why he may appear to be a bit of a slob. However, female influence (and parenthood) can help curb this behavior.
Why He Shrugs His Shoulders
Men like to take charge. However, taking charge, making decisions, or arguing can take its toll on his body, which is why men shut down. This is often signaled by the shoulder shrug. Women think this means he doesn’t care. In actuality, he just needs a break.
Why He Cheats
Most male cheaters see an affair as a means of satisfying a need that is not being met in their romantic relationships. The need could be physical or emotional. This is how they often justify their actions.
Why He Lies
Men lie in order to get something or to protect his self-esteem. These lies are reinforced every time they gets away with them (and a man can lie over 1,000 times a year). When a man tells the truth, praise him for his courage before getting down to business. This will minimize the chance of him lying in the future. Need to understand more about why he’s lying? Psychic Dylan ext. 5495 can tap into your relationship to see what’s going on.
Why He Doesn’t Console You When You’re Crying
When a guy sees a woman cry, he doesn’t always know what he’s supposed to do. His own gut reaction is to look the other way. Women don’t like this and they expect men to comfort them. Your man may need to be told how to comfort you.
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6 thoughts on “How to Translate Your Man”
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Very funny and very real ! However I do have more female friends than male and we can talk about most things without crossing the line !
Great article Eric to say the least but I do feel that if you trust your intuition on dating and on future relationships we learn as we go along I should say. I have learned a lot just reading various articles. While putting them in motion and seeing the outcome. Its great to know things and to be able to have in my relationship that I have with my man. Looking towards the future and being with him without any hesitation and hope he would say the same thing.
Excellent article Eric and so very true, after observing the men in my life and the many male friends that know they cannot get laid with me and have nothing to gain or lose they usually talk very open with me. I think that women need to get more realistic when it comes to men, there isn’t a very big and deep dark secret about men behavior. Trust men when they say they are simple, we women read too much into things. What do you think Eric? I like to hear your take on this.
Why He Leaves After You Sleep With Him
Men don’t walk away from a women just because they slept with him, but the sex may have frightened him into exile quicker. This relationship was doomed anyway, and it was never going to work out. When it comes to sex, you should let your own common sense and values guide you, as there is no right or wrong way to approach intimacy.
***** Sex won’t scare the good guys away, or help hold onto the crappy ones.******
Why He Won’t Commit
When a woman thinks of commitment, she sees visions of white picket fences, diamonds, and bundles of joy.
*****When a guy considers it, he envisions painting those tiny pickets, spending money he doesn’t have, and the poopy diapers that go along with those bundles. In other words, women may consider what they have to gain, while men worry about what they have to lose.*******
He’ll get over it when he’s ready! If he doesn’t, that’s an entirely different article about commitment phobics.
VERY TRUE !!!!!! Nice article Eric, I agree with the quotes above from your article !
I really don’t agree with the “friends” bit…yes,he may be attracted to some of his female friends. But they can still be friends. I have plenty of male friends. Most of my male friends have plenty of female friends. If we are to trust our other half, we should see friendships for what they are. Feeding into the jealousy issues that some men and women have does not help.The intelligent thing for a woman to do? Befriend all of her boyfriend’s female friends.