Be an Extrovert, Even if You’re Shy
In an extroverted world, being an introvert can be difficult. This is because from a young age we discover that the world is set up for the extrovert. In school we are expected to work in groups, at work we are expected to perform on teams, and in social settings those who are not outgoing are either seen as stuck-up or shy. Research suggests that the introvert is less happy in a world built for extroverts. However, there are things you can do to fit in without losing your need for reservation and observation.
The Ambivert
The first bit of advice is to realize that introverts and extroverts are not two separate groups, as much as they are individuals who each have different ways in which they prefer to spend their time. While the true extrovert needs constant stimulation from outside forces, the true introvert will prefer spending their time in a low-key environment where they can enjoy self-reflection. The majority of us are what would be considered an ambivert, which is somewhere in between the two extremes.
Respect Your Inner Introvert
A true ambivert enjoys social interaction, but has a limit where they begin to feel over-stimulated. One of the most important tips on this list is to respect these feelings and give yourself time alone whenever you need it. Research suggests that a good portion of creativity is derived during these moments of down time. While an extrovert may become depressed with too much self-reflection, the introvert will experience the same thing without getting enough of it.
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Fake it
In the introduction I mentioned that studies suggest extroverts are happier than introverts. In truth, it is more likely that each type is happy in different ways. What does seem even more likely is that any introvert can gain some happiness by acting like an extrovert to counter any lack of social experiences. Everybody likes a person who is interesting and curious about the people around them, and since the introvert is more reserved, they sometimes avoid the opportunity to connect with others. By faking it, the introvert can experience the social networks we all crave. It is a fallacy to think that just because you’re an introvert, it is your destiny to be shy and your preference to spend your time secluded from others.
Share Yourself
It is a shame that more introverts don’t share themselves with groups, as they have a lot of great things to say. Another theory for why acting more like an extrovert can make an introvert happier, is that all introverts have the need to express themselves, and by forcing themselves into social situations, they will feel more satisfaction as a result. Look at such introverts as Mahatma Gandhi and Eleanor Roosevelt. One of the common links between these great leaders is that they forced themselves to share an important part of themselves with the world. They felt that what they had to share with the world was important enough to put aside their introversion and the world has become a better place because of it.
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Introverts and Extroverts Pair Well
Without introverts and extroverts working together, great things would rarely get accomplished. Introverts are good at coming up with solutions and extroverts are good at getting these solutions out to the masses. However, either type can find success doing what each other supposedly does well, as we all have the capacity to adapt and succeed when motivated.
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Interestingly enough, extroverts do not always have the great social networks that introverts assume they do. In fact, many of their contacts are superficial and low-quality, and if you were to count the true friends each type had, it would come out fairly equal. In truth, no matter which group you identify with you probably could learn a lot by exploring the other side of the spectrum. There is a great satisfaction that comes from sharing your life with others, and at the same time, there is a great deal more to learn about yourself when you allow solitude to create spiritual revelation.
10 thoughts on “Be an Extrovert: Tips for the Introvert”
Seriously, we introverts do not need to convert ourselves to being extroverts to make ourselves or anyone else happy. We are just fine the way we are. We get alot for being who we are and enjoying the things that are important to us. Seriously???
I liked the article. It is 5 am and I am awake. I am a taurus, so like hte glamorous things and creativity. I need my me time, I am introvert as this is the how hte world tought me. It is safer to be introvert. so I write a lot. I am on all social networking sites and have 10 websites. So I am a secret extrovert. I have a bit paranoia since I am 13 so my job is brilliant. I work alone and have just sometimes people checking on me. So that makes me happy. I run away from situations where I have to open up, wake up and be and talk with people. Don’t like it, but need to learn that.
Hooray for the introverts who spoke up. I deplore the audacity of anybody who dares to insinuate that introverts are “less than”. We have endured this bullying all of our lives. The peace is beyond description! I support equal rights and regard for INTROVERTS who know the value of being and letting be without JUDGMENT or interference.
THIS ONE IS FOR GINA ROSE, Well spoken there Gina Rose, it’s just a pity that not every single body out there completely understands us INTROVERTS, and me by being a Virgo as well I also love my animals, but just can’t afford them, like sure I have a couple of fox terriers, Bella and Scuppers, and they are Virgo’s as well, but my dear little Bella is now pushing 13 years old and Scuppers is only 4 years old and he is just still a puppy, within his soul that is and it is very nice of you there Gina for sticking up for us Virgo’s, bye for now there Gina and have a wonderful day and the very best of British to you and god bless and take care.
I agree with Gina Rose… I am also an introvert (and intentional hermit). I do not crave interaction, in fact, I crave and NEED solitude and quiet. However, in situations in which I am forced to deal with others I have no issues being social, though it’s by far my personal preference! These tips will be handy though for those that want to “get out of their shell”. But, again, most introverts have no desire but to march to their own drum! =)
And….astrologically speaking as well….
my sun sign is Virgo, my rising sign is Cancer, and my moon and mars is in Pisces ( in 8th house of Scorpio ) and everything else being in and under water elements…..even my astrology natal chart screams : hermit and introvert.
LOL
Eric, I love your articles, and I can see where you are coming from in this one.
But, speaking as a true introvert, in every way imaginable, I can tell you that most, if not all, true introverts LOVE being alone.
I live in a very rural remote area, by myself, up on a mountain top and love it. The peace and quiet also helps my meditation and my readings ( being a career psychic ).
I do not miss or long for human interaction.
I do help manage a no kill animal shelter that I helped found and build, but mainly do the bookwork and supply ordering from my home and only interact with the volunteers and board members that oversee it now.
That’s enough interaction for me.
And I can get into enough trouble all by myself….lol….thank you very much.
My hermit lifestyle is definitely not for everybody, but I LOVE the quiet and serenity, and solitude.
I meant to say, research is wrong, not you.
Sorry, you’re wrong about us introverts being less happy. Most of introverts like being who we are, it’s the extroverts that have the problem with us.
By being an EXTROVERT is nothing but a fool, because to put it mildly, these kind of people have no concept at all on what lies hidden beneath them and to mix in without knowing on what you could be getting involved with is where a hell of a lo of trouble starts or begins to start, for instance, has not heard of an old phrase TO HE/SHE WO MIXES IN TO EXPECT TROUBLE ON THE OTHERSIDE, or ONLY FOOLS STEP IN TO EXPLORE THE UNKNOWN, no wonder that so many relationships fall down within years to come or even months and divorce rates become extremely high, as I like to know on what that I am stepping into first so that I get a far better idea to make far better decisions within my life so that I try and illimminate further possible consequences that can get in the way of my life so that I can move on knowingly that I have made the right decision, but on the other hand I also know that us as human beings we must also learn to take risks, so that we can learn from our mistakes that we make in our lives, but some risks are greater than others and for some this is how we learn, but as for myself I just love being an INTROVERT, because of less trouble that way ad therefore you have greater PEACE OF MIND AND TRANQUILITY and above all, just let the world pass you by and who cares upon what others think about you as I would not have the time of day to care less for what others thin about me, AS IT IS THERE LOSS AND NOT MINE. Well have a very wonderful day you EXTRAVERTS and the best of British to ALL OF YOU and take care and god bless. And by the way I am married with a lovely wife for the past 19 years and I have two wonderful children for which that I would not part with as my wife is a Capricorn and our two wonderful boy’s are Taureans and they are EXTROVERTS, good luck to them s I get my vey own space and time alone and I enjoy just being a home body and by being an INTROVERT, well bye for now once again to ALL and the best of British and may god bless you ALL and take care.