Create Yourself!
Recently, I heard a quote on KQED (public radio) from Maya Angelou, the African-American author and poet, which really resonated with me and it goes like this “We need the courage to create ourselves each day.” What an extraordinary statement! Notice how she didn’t use the word, “recreate”? That’s because it’s not about recreating; it’s about creating yourself! Do you have the courage to create yourself each day?
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As a Psychic/Intuitive Medium, Interfaith Minister, Spiritual Relationship Counsel and Grief Counselor, I hear many stories throughout my day and night that leave my heart wishing I could do more. I wish I had a magic wand to wave that would make anything better instantly. Unfortunately, that’s not the way life works. The best I can do is pray for healing—not just for them, but also for me, because for every person I talk to there is a piece of them in me waiting to be awakened.
Creating ourselves each day isn’t easy because we live in a chaotic and fear-filled world.
Surviving Abuse
A few days ago, a friend reached out to me for advice. She was in a domestic violence situation. She sobbed hysterically; she was so fragile. I wanted to jump through the phone and surround her with my warm, motherly arms. I listened as she shared the details of the last 19 months of her young life. It was horrible! Then she asked if I had been through something similar. I had. About 30 years ago I was in an abusive marriage. Talking about it with this friend brought up all the old feelings—shame, helplessness and vulnerability. Like her, I felt stupid. I thought if I loved him more he would change. I was wrong.
We’re both accomplished women—she and I. We’re bright, intelligent and now we are soul sisters.
How I Created Myself
When the sobbing stopped, she asked me what she should do. She wondered if she would ever live a normal life again. She wondered if she would ever feel safe or find new, better love. I told her that she’s a courageous, resilient and loving woman. She then asked me what I did after I left my abusive marriage. I told her I stayed with a friend for a while and then I joined support groups for abused women. In time, I got a job as a counselor, went back to school and decided to dedicate my life to helping others. I took a lot of baby steps, but I found the courage to create myself. I vowed that I would always stay true to myself. I learned to say yes when I meant it and no when I meant it too. Now, each and every day I give thanks for who I am and what I can do for others. You can create yourself too!
Choose Your Path
As my friend and I talked into the night, she began to calm down. We even managed to share a laugh. Abuse changes your life forever, but you have the power to choose your own path. You just need the courage to create yourself each day. Every day, do a little something that makes you a new and better person. It’s not always easy, but it’s totally worth it.
With love always,
Psychic Serafina ext. 6327
28 thoughts on “Psychic Serafina: Have the Courage to Create Yourself Each Day”
Hi Seren,
Thank you for your comments. Very wise and informative.
Love always,
Serafina
Once an addicit always . an addicit.keep on moving and dont look back!!!
A truly inspiring article, Serafina.
Abuse comes in many forms, a number of which have been mentioned here in the comments but I think the most insidious form of abuse is the alienation of affection. This coldness or aloofness from a loved one leaves so many people wondering what they did to cause it or to feel that it would all be better, if only they were good enough.
But of course this is not the case. How someone treats us says nothing about us but everything about them.
How we allow someone to treat us, however, is a different matter entirely and one that is completely under our control, if we but have the courage to say no and walk away.
Thanks for your wonderful article and a big, heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you who was courageous enough to share your experiences in the comments. I wish you all peace, happiness and, most of all, the love that you so clearly deserve.
Brightest blessings,
Seren, Ext 5445
Gee,
Thank goodness there are more than just 2 chances given to us in this lifetime 🙂
With love always,
Serafina
Hello Saundra,
Thank you for sharing your powerful story. It’s true that to self identify is more important than getting your identity through another person.
I’m so thrilled you went to your Pastor and community. Self love is a never ending journey:)
Love always,
Serafina
I feel what of these women are saying…abuse comes in many forms, but pain is always the same. Where there is a chance to be free of the pain take it. Second chances only come once in a lifetime.
LightA
You are awesome! Thank you for your comments.
With love always,
Serafina
Diane,
Guess what, you are free right now:) Want to know more? Call me.
With love always,
Serafina
Hi Kim,
Congratulations on your new found freedom. It feels like it’s time to have more fun with your life now 🙂 Let’s talk.
With love always,
Serafina
Hi Ivy,
Congrats! Thanks for sharing 🙂
With love always,
Serafina
Charles,
Let’s talk more, give me a call and we can look at your situation.
With love always,
Serafina
Attention Linda Williams.
Hi Linda,
I look forward to hearing from you:)
Love always,
Serafina
Attention: Meg,
I’m so sorry that you are feeling lonely and neglected. That can feel so isolating.
Your statement makes me wonder as to what happened a couple of years ago for the physical intimacy to come to an end. Your situation is complicated in that it feels like your husband is also in pain and unable to communicate.
Give me a call and let’s look at this together.
With Love always,
Serafina
how do you think i should go about create myself
30 years ago, I lived in fear and terror. Mr. Handsome and Charm became a monster. We had money and social status, but no one knew what went on behind the doors of our house. There were children involved. We never knew when he was going to explode and take it out on us. It was sheer torture, waiting for it to happen. I became weak and submissive, and could not get up the strength to leave. I finally had help from my Pastor and parents. I left with my children one day when he was out of town…with very little money. I left a beautiful house, nice cars and clothes. None of it mattered. It was the most frightening and important move I ever made. I survived , and a few years later found the real me again and opened my own business. Don’t look for another man. It is not the answer. You will choose the wrong type again unless you have counseling. Trust in yourself and in God. One day when the time is right and you have gotten past your insecurities, you will find the right person to be with. Find some help….it was not available in the 1970’s..but it is now…you can do it. You simply must.
Hello and HUGS!! Thank you for your time to visit with us. Im also a survivor. The way I choose to create myself was this… on a daily basis I look where I want to go. I choose my thoughts and that way I decide my actions. So thats what I what to piggy back 🙂 Lets choose where we wan to go:) Hugs
Thank You for posting this,
I am separating from my husband at this time and your words comforted me when I needed it. My husband didn’t abuse me, he just ignored me. He had so many friends and so many reasons he wasn’t available to me and I was left to do all the grown up work.. It’s very hard to start again but my loneliness is different now, I guess I’m used to it, but at least I don’t wonder where he is and when he’s coming home or worry about all the things i better do to keep the peace. Thank You again’
Kim
I AM A LOT LIKE YOU AND I STILL HAVE A FEW FREIGHED EDGES TO COMPLETE AND THEN I WILL BE FREE OF THE ABUSE THAT WAS INSTILLED IN ME , I NOW HAVE A LOVING AND PATIENT HUSBAND THAT HAS BEEN WORKING WITH ME AND YOU KNOW IF I JUST STAY POSITIVE AND JUST LOVE HIM I AM GOING TO BE FREE EVENTUALLY
Thanks for sharing such inspiring quote, words and experiences. It be applied to abusive situations and everything we need to face in our lives.
Thank you for this article. I was abused in my marriage too, years ago, then I divorced him, rebuilt my shattered self-esteem, moved on, then decided to write about it in order to help others overcome what hell they’re going through/gone through. Reaching out and helping and comforting others, and gently motivating them to see that everything will be OK as time goes by, and that they are wonderful human beings who deserve love and respect, not abuse, is one of the best things in life an ex-victim can do for others, and you are a very caring person for doing that.
Your article is so inspiring and comforting, and instils hope into others that their future can be a happier and safer one and, like you said: “You have the power to choose your own path”.
So true. 🙂
This is one of the best articles Ihave read ,Thank you Serafina. I pray that all the women in ab usive situations heed her sugestions. with much love maria
thank you for that supportive message. that’s what I’m going to do…create myself…not recreate, but create.
Your words inspired me. I felt compelled to contact you.
Dear Serafina, Your article of hope came along when I most needed it. Thank you because it helped me to know other women share my painful experiences.Sincerely, Paula
I loved this and I can relate to this…I was in a abusive relationship for 30 years…It is not easy and yes things will get better…I have been a free woman for the past tree years and taking Life day to day not looking for anything but to be able to enjoy what my past took away from me….And if one day a special someone comes into my life than I will be ready to enjoy love as it should be…If not my freedom is well worth it…
Is a husband of 25 years who withholds physical intimacy from the marriage over a two and more yr period ( with no physical disability ) is this considered abusive , i know it is extremely harmful to this marriage and leaves me lonely and neglected. He satisfies his own needs in private .
Will my divorce end my frustrations?
I would like to know if you ever meditate on helping find something, very dear to me, somewhere in my home or garage? What would the cost be to do something like this for me? I have been looking for a Nikon camera my daughter gifted us, that I put somewhere in my home and have not located it for the last 3 months. Thank you if this is a possibility for you to help with! ! ! Vonnie