Compassion, Not Boundaries
Have you ever been in a fight with a friend or loved one and said the following statements to yourself?:
“I’m never letting them do that to me again!”
“I’m setting boundaries!”
“I’m done with them!”
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What do you do when the people around you throw toddler-like temper tantrums? Do you throw up your hands in protest, hoping that will silence them? Do you yell back? Do you leave the room? No matter how you respond, witnessing another’s tantrum makes your heart flutter, puts you on the defensive and triggers your fight-or-flight response. They’ve made you feel uncomfortable as the target of their angst. They’re blaming you for their misery. At these times, it’s hard to feel compassion for someone, but you should!
Extreme Emotions Set Boundaries
Their emotions are extreme, and as the target of their angst, your emotions become extreme too. It takes days for you to calm down. You talk about what happened with anyone who will listen. Then you decide that it’s never going to happen again. You are never going to let them attack you again, so you decide to set boundaries. And this means you will never let that person get close to you again. But setting boundaries isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. It’s just a fear response to feeling attacked and it lacks compassion.
Have you stopped calling them?
Have you excluded them from social gatherings?
Have you removed them from your social circle?
Where’s the Compassion?
In all this boundary-setting, you’ve forgotten compassion. Boundaries are a harsh response to a harsh attack, making them one-in-the-same. Here’s what you do instead: bless them. It’s simple, silent and easy. This is the strongest and wisest response you can have. Send them a blessing or a prayer and use compassion as your response.
Being compassionate doesn’t make you a spiritual wimp. Actually, it’s a position of the utmost strength! Bless your attacker and allow them their path of craziness. You’re only a spiritual wimp if you allow yourself to be attacked time and time again by the same person. Just bless them and move on. Focus on your own work and personal growth. You’re not obligated to be their dart board!
Change Your Vibration
When you bless those who attack you, your vibration changes. You move yourself to higher levels of frequency and this makes you spiritually stronger. Now your attacker is on a lower frequency than you and their hate and anger will keep them there and far away from you.
Human Boundaries vs. Spiritual Boundaries
Your spiritual boundaries are more powerful than your human boundaries, so work on strengthening them with compassion for those who attack you. If you do, you’ll change your energy and your vibration. You’ll also change the company you keep—without even saying a word! Blessing someone is compassion at its highest vibration. It’s the strongest position you can come from in any situation.
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Psychic Spencer ext. 5643
16 thoughts on “Psychic Spencer: Have Compassion for Those Who Attack You”
I agree!! Blessings work…instead of getting into a conflict stop and ask yourself is it worth it! most of the time not…but if its an attack you need to be open to letting the other person know there freakout is not exceptable and u will not be treated like that!!!Then Bless them!!!!
I am estranged from my son. He was going through a divorce. First we talked for hours sometimes 2 hr. at a time. Now it seems to be my fault. He cussed me out and defriended me from his e-mail. I would like an appointment with Psychic Spencer to see how this can be worked out without more punishment from him.
Excellent article.
The Best I’ve read on the subject in
practical terms.
I’m dealing with it now, &
am doing this already as well as possible.
I still feel sorry for the person, but am
on with my life.
Thanks.
As a Scorpio, I find it hard to “bless” someone unless I say it snarky.
It is more of a question than a comment how ever what if I am the attacker and the other hates me what can be done if anything ?
it realy works . I realy appreciate this.thanks
I usually spend most of my time away from negative energy, however, whenever I am subjected to negative energy I try to focus on where the energy originated; to increase my understanding of the shortcomings the individual is experiencing and attempt to add some positive energy. It always helps me to rely on the biblical principle of the “idea of the garden”; all organisms gather sustenance, in one form or another, from the Earth; I visualize all forms of energy as extensions of the energy of the Earth; there is much to be aware of in maintaining a garden environment; in realizing the beneficial harmonious disbursement of the diversity of Earth energy. Thank you for the opportunity of expression; another form of positive energy? 😉
I have disassociated my self from someone I was talking to over the internet no long my facebook friend. they don’t like me and they call me white girl and trailer trash. they are a suppose to be professionals in the so call music industry. but they not. told them to stay off my facebook page. and I won’t go on their page.
I love this and agree with it and needed to be refreshed about on it. Thank you:)
Hi Spencer, how do you bless a person, just walk away & say bless you & pray for them? I am under attack so offer, I need to be able to better handle these times.
It’s hard to give a blessing to someone when they take 100% of your direct deposit paycheck from my checking account that I have my son on which he never had any access to only I use. Child support attacked it . I have proof of years in pay stubs & bank statements. Nobody seems to care. Not even the mother of my grandson. I live paycheck to paycheck. I’m on a budget of bills especially my mortgage. Is she gonna feel for me no. I tried talking to her to let her know I need my paycheck that I worked for to survive. She went to the police & filed a report against me. The policetold me not to have communication with her until the hearing to where I have to state why I believe I’m entitled to my own paycheck.
I do have a strong discernment that I have enemies & foes in my family & in my church as well as other places where I have had regular contact.
Everyday during my daily prayers, I pray for the enemies & foes with: love, compassion, forgiveness & I bless my enemies & foes & do not curse them. I forgive them as GOD forgave me because I have learned to follow HIM in spirit and in truth at this time in my life.
These prayers have taken out all of the anger & the stress of lies, deceptions & the hurt of being spitefully used by those I have considered to be true friends & relatives whom I thought loved & respected me as I still continue to feel toward each one of them.
I just ask the to Lord for continued strength. Honestly, I don’t know how much longer this will last. I’m dealing with PTSD, ignorance, lack of training, lacking positive role model ( his father) fear of whatever and immaturity. Self centered impudent, belligerent, greedy, insecure, lying grown (44, 37, 33 y/o children); who really hate him for bringing someone into his life, denying them of their legacy.
I’m sure I’ll contact you sometime in the near future.
I have recently started blessing all the difficult people I come in contact with and it really is amazing how you actually feel so much better. This works so well with my ex husband and also even when your driving and someone cuts you off. I have even started to send blessings to people who look really down and out. I figure it helps them and me too. It’s a rewarding experience I’ve come to enjoy. Thanks Spencer for the great article.
Interesting and insightful article. However, what is one to do when the person who is giving you a tongue lashing due to his fears and insecurities is your Soul Mate? Do I bless him and walk away? In my professional Social Work career, I was told many times that not addressing an serious issue such as this is to condone it. How will he ever address/resolve his misguided anger if no one tells him about it? In the area of work, friends and family, it s a great idea to bless them and walk away. However, when the person is the one you are in this world for, this lifetime to be with, not saying anything causes damage, hard feelings, loss of respect and chips away at the love you have for the person.
I truly appreciate your support and the information that you have given to me. I am going through some things with my baby father he’s the one trying to attack me. I will do exactly what you recommend pray for him, and be compassionate thanks