How to Avoid These 7 Modern Love Pitfalls

Easier Isn’t Always Better

If you’re struggling in your relationship, chances are it may not be your fault. Yes, you can blame modern technology, which benefits your life in many ways, but could be hurting your romantic life. Here are seven modern romantic pitfalls and how to avoid them.

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1. Dramatic Advertisements
You know those really insane ads that use high drama to sell you something? Whether it’s a cup of coffee or a watch, these ads go to extremes to prove that your life could be better. And you’re so used to seeing it, that you start to believe your life has to be just as dramatic and extreme. The truth is that the best relationships have their mundane and even boring periods, and that’s okay. It’s the price you pay for security and stability.

2. Instant Gratification
We rarely have to wait long for anything these days. We can get a pizza delivered in under 30 minutes, so giving a relationship time to improve seems unreasonable. However, perfect love takes time to achieve and it’s constantly evolving. Great relationships are void of instant gratification.

3. Social Media Blasting
Do you turn to social media when you’re fighting with your partner? Perhaps you do it to gain support or just just feel like publically shaming them for wronging you. It’s a mistake. Instead, keep your tiffs private and give your partner the opportunity to make things right before putting them on blast. Once you put something on the Internet it stays there forever.

4. Texting, Not Talking
Love is an all-sense experience. It needs to be heard, seen, tasted, touched and smelled. However, a good portion of couples prefer to communicate via text. The problem is that the meaning and sentiment of their words get lost. Texting is an impersonal way to communicate, even if you use emojis. If you have something important to say, it’s better to call them. Even better than a call is a face-to-face meeting.

5. Multitasking
You may think you’re listening intently to your partner vent about their day while you’re checking social media or texting on your phone, but you’re not. Not only are you not giving your partner the attention they deserve, you’re also not paying close enough attention to whatever you’re doing on your phone. Our modern society prizes multitasking, but some things deserve your full attention—especially your relationship. Put the phone down. Better yet, have a technology curfew every night so you can focus on other important things.

6. Sex First, Love Later
Some dating apps normalize casual sex to the point where many people have sex first before falling in love. That’s fine if a hookup is all you’re looking for. But some people actually want to have a relationship and are investing emotions into strangers. Sex is easy; love is not. If you always lead with sex, you may not find the love you want.

7. Fear of Dependence
Some people worry that falling in love will cause them to lose their independence. As a result, when in a relationship they don’t spend nearly enough time with their partner as a team. If you feel your relationship is hindering your personal growth, you need to look at love differently. Healthy relationships are between two people who navigate their individual journeys together.

Take the Hard Road

Think about everything your parents and grandparents did to find and keep love. Your journey is much easier in many ways. The effort they made translated to more risk, but also greater commitment. The same is true today. The more you put into something, the more you’ll fight to keep it, and the more effort you’ll receive in return from a partner. Just because there are easier options, that doesn’t make them better options.