She Deserves Better Than a Serial Cheater
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Dear Psychic Reed,
My husband is a serial cheater, but I still live with him. I love him and have faith that things will work out, but the lies and the cheating continue. I want to show him how it feels to be lied to and cheated on and hurt and laughed at, but I don’t have the heart to be like him. Everyone tells me I’m too good for him and that I deserve better. Many people ask me why I’m still with him. I have my reasons and he’s not all bad. In fact, he has good qualities too. I just can’t take the anger I’m feeling.
My husband doesn’t seem to care that what he’s doing is hurting me. He’s 36 and I’m 35. We come from very different backgrounds. What should I do to change for the better? I need advice I haven’t been told before. Please know, I don’t want to leave, but I will if nothing changes. I do everything for him—from cooking and cleaning to putting on his socks and shoes for him. He does nothing for me. He never helps me clean and he doesn’t do anything around the house, yet he has the nerve to complain if I don’t do the dishes right after dinner. It’s draining.
Sabri
Psychic Reed ext. 5105 responds:
Dear Sabri,
Dealing with a serial cheater can be a heartbreaking roller coaster. You have every right to be angry and I understand why you would want to show him how it feels. That would not work though, so it’s just as well that you don’t even try. It would make things far worse. I feel such an imbalance in your husband’s energy. I feel that your husband loves you to the best of his ability, but his ability is very poor.
When I see a man like your husband, I look to see what is motivating his cheating. Some motives are temporary, situational, circumstantial or just plain life lessons. I feel that the motive in your husband’s case is so much deeper. So it’s harder to change.
The energy I get from him feels like he just believes you shouldn’t be hurt by his actions. He knows it hurts you, but he feels it shouldn’t and that leads him to disregards your feelings. This is a serious point of disconnection between the two of you.
While he loves you and does have good qualities, I do not feel that this serial cheater will change. He would only support you in your feelings if he judges those feelings to have just cause. However, a partner’s feelings should never be handled with judgment and his judgment is completely skewed.
Sabri, I know you’ve heard “leave him” before, but there is a reason why you keep hearing it. However, if you feel called to stay with him there must be a good reason for it and you’re going to need some new tools. I’m recommending you read Back from the Looking Glass by Kim Cooper. That will start you on a path to gaining the tools you need to correct this imbalance. It’s going to be an uphill climb, but it’s not an impossible one.
You do deserve better, but unfortunately, we don’t always get what we deserve. However, we do always get what we settle for. You can’t settle for this; you can make changes. Start with Kim Cooper’s work and take it one day at a time.
I’m with you in prayer and in spirit.
Reed
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6 thoughts on “Psychic Q&A: The Serial Cheater”
My heart is with a man I’ve been with fr 17years ,WELL he loves me and I love him ,but I just got tired of being r feeling like I was w always lasted in his life no matter what r how , I tried to show r give my love to him he would just push it alway, but den at certain times he would be great so loveable, ,he’s been gone now about a almost a year now ,he calls me every other now and then r he’ll txt me , he has bloodClugs in both legs which had started slowing down his heart , he with his brother in SEATTLE WASHINGTON LACY I WANT HIM HOME JOHNNY HERE WITH ME PLEASE HELP ME.
Where and what happened to Jesse Ross aka (Opie)
To Sabri;
I think you know he won’t ever change, but I think you have listened to his words too many times. He has berated you. He has made you feel you are unattractive. He has made you insecure. He has taken away your confidence and you believe all the unkind words he speaks to you about you, even though you know that he ALWAYS LIES TO YOU!
I also think Thank you that You should not ask for help if you aren’t willing to accept the help being offered. Nobody can make him as different man. Nobody can make him respect you. I also think that Nobody should bow to your demands to listen to you as you are complaining about him but keep their opinions to your solutions to themselves
ATTENTION SABRI!!!
Nobody can save you!!!
ITS ALL UP TO YOU! You HAVE TO decide to stay & stop complaining about him cheating.
Staying mens you are CHOOSING a cheater. That’s your choice 1000% and nobody can tell you it’s wrong for you.
But If you want to complain that he is a cheater, then you need to leave him
Either be happy with YOUR OWN CHOICE or CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
You’ve got two choices and neither one includes you continuing to complain.
If You choose misery and that you are remaining (where you are unhappy,) that’s your business, but you should not be dragging anyone else in to comfort you for YOUR OWN CHOICES.
have experienced more than my fair share of betrayal, and all of it from those who were supposed to love me without end.
I am not in a relationship and I’m not sure I am emotionally healthy enough to get into one, but I long to be held and still have a sex drive that means a lot to me.
I’m also transitioning through jobs and hoping to secure a job that will allow me to comfortably support myself and remain in my home that I love.
Can you tell me if I’m ever going to be truly loved by a man without any lies?
Can you tell me if I am going to be financially safe in the next 3 months?
Can you tell me where in should be looking for friends and will I have to work for the rest of my lifetime?
I would love to hear some hopeful news but only if it is true.
I don’t want anything if it isn’t Thank you he truth
Thank you
I appreciate your guidance
Betty
I have some good advice for the woman who is married to the serial cheater. It is lenghty so I can’t go into it all at this time but I assure you this will help.
So tired of going back and forth with my children’s father… I’ve wasted half of my life waiting for a change in him, to be respected and really loved and shown true feelings… Not being considerate and constantly being lied to…. Will I ever received that person in my life?
Well I will not voice an opinion, because ,opinion,s is just like having an ASSHOLE, CZ EVERY BODY HAS ONE, BUT THIS IS ALL I CAN AND WILL TXT, UR SITUATION IS KINDA LIKE MIND’S,, ONLY DIFFERENCE , isI JOHN DIDNT CHEAT R LIE, ,HE WAS A VERABLLY OUT SPOKEN MAN , DIDN’T CARE IF HE HURTED UR FEELINGS OR MADE N CRY , WELL LONG STORY SHORT , I GAVE HIM JUST A LIL TASTE OF HIS ON MEDICATION, AND HE DIDN’T LIKE HOW IT TASTE, SO NOW HES IN SEATTLE WASHINGTON LACY, WITH HIS BROTHER ,BUT I STILL AND ALWAYS WILL LOVE HIM , AND HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME AS WELL , SO THERES NO WOMAN IN DIS WORLD ,THAT HAVEN’T BEEN IN LOVE , NO BODY CAN TELL A HUMAN HEART WHOM ,R HOW LONG TO LOVE THAT SPECIAL INDIVIDUAL, NO ONE CAN TELL U UR TIRED OF BEING IN LOVE ALL BY YOURSELF, BUT U , SO HERE’S WHAT I WILL TXT , PRAY FOR WILLPOWER,ASK JESUS CHRIST TO STRENGTHEN U WHERE UR WEAK , HE’S D ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP YOU OUT, OF ANY AND ALL UR SITUATIONS HE EITHER WILL MEND, UR RELATIONSHIP R HE’LL TAKE U AWAY FROM BEING HURT ,R HE’LL TAKE HIM OUT OF UR LIFE , SO BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT YOU PRAY FR , HOW EVER HE WORK S IT OUT PLEASE DO NOT B ANGRY , JUST SAY THANK YOU JESUS CHRIST, and I really hoped tht I was a lil helpful ,cnjm KENNER LOUISIANA STATE BLESSED u