Psychic Q&A: Her Toxic Marriage

He Wants to Isolate Her

Dear Cameron,

I have been married for the last 12 years, but my husband and I have been together for 20 years and we have a toxic marriage. Since the moment we first started dating, he has never trusted me. In fact, he follows me to work, searches my phone, and accuses me of things I don’t do. He treats me like I’m the worst wife ever! I think he wants me to live an isolated life.

We have three children—between the ages of 10 and 16. I’m worried they’re being impacted by our toxic marriage, but I don’t know what to do. Should I leave my toxic marriage and take the kids? Should I encourage my husband to go to counseling? What are my options and where will my potential paths take me?

Celia M.

Psychic Cameron ext. 5412 responds:

Dear Celia,

Thank you for your question and I am sorry that this has been such a difficult time for you. I can imagine that you may feel hurt and alone, but please know: about half of the questions I receive from clients each week relate to whether or not to stay in a relationship or move on. It can be a very difficult decision to make. I’ve consulted my cards and my guides and I have some guidance that I hope you will find helpful.

Whenever I do a relationship reading, particularly when there is a separation, I always look to the cards to see whether or not it is temporary or permanent. In your spreads, I got the same card twice and in the same place—very powerful in my readings. It was the Eight of Cups, right side up, which means that it is time for you to move on from your toxic marriage.

Because the card is not reversed, this suggests to me that you will leave on your own terms when you are ready, but, again, it is time for you to leave. Because it is next to the Five of Swords and the Hermit, I know that you have felt isolated for some time and that your husband’s treatment towards you has been humiliating and painful. The Seven of Wands tells me that the decision to leave your toxic marriage may be challenging for you, but if you decide that this is the right course of action, you can do it.

I believe, based on your reading, that this frustration has left you feeling depressed and sometimes hopeless. The fact that the relationship has been this way from the beginning tells me that your husband needs help for his abusive and controlling behavior and that after 20 years, he probably won’t change without professional help. This definitely has an effect on your children who would like to see you happy. They can also sense and see the tension in your relationship. While most people don’t want their children upset by a separation or divorce, it can also be deeply upsetting to see someone you love being treated unfairly. At some point, they may need counseling too.

My suggestion to you is this: Something in your situation must change. If your husband is not willing to get help, you must start with the decision, when you are ready, that you would like to leave your toxic marriage. Then be patient with yourself. This decision and the willingness to take steps in the right direction will begin to lift the pressure off you and your mood will change. My guides are showing me that you need a plan. In other words, The Wheel of Fortune right side up means that Spirit is going to help you in any way it can, but you have to be the one to put the plan in motion.

In any toxic relationship, it’s important to get outside help. You may want to let a family member know what your plans are and what you have been experiencing. You may decide not to share your plan to leave until you know you have a safe place for you and your children to go to. There are resources across the country for women who choose to make this decision; you want to feel safe and supported if you decide that leaving is the best course of action.

I know the decision you must make is a difficult one. You may feel that you are taking your children away from their father. However, the truth is you are showing them what it means to love oneself and walk away from abuse. I believe that you will be happier, freer, and able to enjoy more of your life if you can live in an environment free of criticism and control. Most importantly, choose to put yourself and your children first, and decide what is best for all of you.  I see there are some wonderful directions you want to go in the area of career. I’m sure you know it’s very hard to do when so much energy goes to defending yourself each day. I can’t urge you enough to build your support system now and when the time is right, move on from your toxic marriage.

Blessings,

Cameron

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