The No-Cheating Cheat Sheet

Cheating can be heartbreaking. However, ultimately there is no way that you can control your partner and make the decision to cheat or not to cheat for them. What we can do, though, is put the right energies and levels of commitment into OUR end of the relationship, and make sure it is so solid that the grass will never look greener. Here’s ten ways to start:

1. Tell your partner what’s great about your relationship.

2. Child-centered marriages are often an excuse for a lack of intimacy. Take time to foster your “adult” relationship with periodic date nights.

3. If you sense something is wrong with your partner, ask about it. Never let bad feelings linger.

4. Air your differences, but make sure that you’re arguing over the real problem. Many fights focus on external symptoms (coming home late, etc), rather than the true cause (lack of intimacy, etc).

5. Make it an ongoing habit to ask your partner how things are going, and if they need anything. Listen to their needs, write them down, and make a schedule to keep them if necessary.

6. Intimacy should never be neglected, and good sex is a part of that equation.

7. Working late on occasion is understandable, but perpetually working is a form of neglect. Relationships should come before job, school, friends, and hobbies. Come home every night.

8. Sleep in the same bed. Many problems begin with one partner on the couch. It may have been an accident. They say they didn’t want to wake you. But it is almost always a prelude to trouble.

9. Do something special for your partner every day. It doesn’t have to be big, but it does need to show they are important.

10. Bored, unhappy people make for boring, unhappy relationships. Do something nice for yourself. Research suggests that when you feel good, your partner will feel good about you too.